No. He doesn't seem to have done anything with your sister, so they cannot have been "cheating" on you and your sister's partner, if one exists. He may have demonstrated, however, that he is a petty thief if he took the photographs without consent. How did he know these photographs existed and how did he find them? Assuming that your sister did not give them to him (by his request or your sister's initiative) and now regrets her actions, he either found them while sneaking around your sister's home or he picked them up while they were lying around visible to the public. If he received them with your sister's cooperation, something might have been developing that could have led to cheating.

Thank you, My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 8 years, during our marriage he looked at a lot of porn. I asked him not to do this as I have never liked it, as a child I was exposed to it and fondled by men. He promised he would not do it again! yeah right! He continued to do so and hide it, many times but in a careless way. On December 20th 2004, he was sleeping, I was sitting at my computer and my 18 month old daughter pulled them out of his work bag!! well.. 'Oh my dear god!", My heart raced as I realised there were 11 photo's of my sister naked, I was ANGRY, DEVASTATED, HUMILIATED, JEALOUS, HURT and DOWNGRADED to think he would go one step further, FAMILY (NO GO ZONE). When I confronted him he said he found them in her drive way and he didn't want to tell me , Co's It might have changed the relationship between my Sister and I. I knew he was lying and we fought for five days and told him it was over unless he told me the truth. During those 5 day I had contacted my sister without his knowledge and yes, she knows and was highly affended and betrayed also. He finally amitted to stealing them from her house, and gave me the details.. He apparently seen a photo packet on an open linen cupboard and picked them up. Then took them. Hid them for 18 months at his work, and retrieved them to burn them, got distracted and put them in his bag, and the next day my daughter pulled them out!!! To me it's CHEATING (its no different to asking her to undress and say i'll just look but, I wont touch!) He kept telling me IT"S JUST A PHOTO... if that was the case why steal them, why not look and put them back! and I have plenty of her in our wedding album if her was that infacuated with her? I'ts different then looking at complete strangers which I have never liked anyway, but MY SISTER!!! I feel so sick to my stomache that he would look at her in such a lustful and sexual way and that he STOLE them. for a quick rush. I feel I would have coped better if he had a sexual affair with someone i didnt know cos, I have my sister in my life every day. In which she is not to blame, he was the one who invaded her privacy. Thanks to both replies! BETRAYED

Well your husband is way out of line here thats grose,hes leching at your sister its like a pervert,id be sickended by this and yes you have every right to feel so pissed about this,id see it as bad as a afair if not worse!

No, its called larceny. stealing is a crime, whether its a photograph or a ball point pen. This situation is larceny, but with a twist. the nude photos should not have been available, in the beginning. you would not have this situation, if they had not been in existence. is he showing these photos to others or just for his personal satisfaction? cheating is not the case here, its larceny. Your sister needs to make a police report and prosecute your husband. how do you feel about him having the photos?

I dont think he stole the photos. For him to get them he would need to be in the house without her knowledge. She either left them there hoping he would find them, or he asked for naked photos of her, or she willingly offered them to him, or he may even have taken them. If she really felt upset and violated she would have gone to police. I think she knew all about it and now is trying to hide it from you. Check her house to see if she has naked photos of him, or ask her directly to her face and watch her body language. I bet she has some.

It is cheating, if he has naked pictures of your siter, he is obviously thinking of her in a sexual way. Watching porn together as a couple is fine and even by himself at a push (men do these things, thats life) but when it comes to someone you know, especially family, then it is definitely cheating.

Maybe he thought it was you? Do you look like her? But it is not cheating more like stealing.

Yes very much u should devorce him.his not worth keepin if he cant even realize what a good thing he has

He promised you he wouldn't continue with the porn, but he did and tried to hide it from you. now this... what else could he be hiding. he has proven himself untrustworthy, and i think it is disrespectful to you for him to bring that type of dishonesty to the relationship, and also for it to be about sexual attraction to other women, whether it is only on the internet or not. i know you must be completely frustrated with putting up with it. does he know about your childhood experience- maybe if he understood that better he wouldn't want to watch porn anymore, for your sake. you should talk to him about that, and also about your issues with trust. cheating? it's all on how you look at it, but definitely dishonesty and betrayal... sorry about all of it- i can't stand to see women treated like invaluable sidecourses in a mans's main meal.

I think it is cheating, even if nothing has occurred between them...it is what is going on in his mind...he is desiring another woman, and how evil, the sister of his wife...also, if has obtained these without your sister's knowledge, he is a thief. In this case, you and she should seek legal advice. He is not a nice person, sorry to say.

It's not cheating--it stealing pictures. Theft. On the other hand, it's a better excuse than admiting that he had sex with your sister and that they took the pictures. don't you think?

I think it could be considered cheating. Its definatley disturbing and a major breach(sp?) of trust. Especially for him to leave them around where your child could see them. He obviously has some issues you guys should probably talk about. If he didnt take your request for him to stop seriously he's not respecting you.

Many men want the sister of their wife. not unusual. I wouldn't worry about it.

He found them while baby sitting at my sister's home,he picked them up while they were lying around visible to the public. jake1973(Betrayed)

What! So they should act on it? Even if they dont get along with the sister in law at all? jake1973(Betrayed)

It is a form of cheating, but your husband is in dire need of help. Has your sister confronted him yet? He needs to apologize to both of you. He has the all the signs of a sex addict. I don't feel good about him being around your daughter, especially while he is in denial. he needs counseling and a 12 step program would be a good answer. your sis has been violated and so have you. if he does not get help, you should consider leaving him. there is too much addiction going on here.

I am glad you felt safe enough to vent here on AB. Stay focused and healthy.

I wouldn't call it cheating. I would call it invasion of privacy, THEFT, and other things.

Kool it. make up with him. get him out of the sex addiction class. Have some fun with him. Give him so much of what he wants that he'll get sick. Get into it. We're all human. Try it. Smile.

No not cheating but really creepy and you have to wounder if he might be thinking of cheating on you!

It is considered cheating by me. It is also considered uber-creepy by me.

well personally i dont think its cheating. but that dosent mean you shouldnt watch out. he may have a thing for your sister. he didnt touch her in any way sexually. but you do have the rite 2 be upset. i think you 2 should really just sit down an really open up. apparently he's in a need for something if he's stealin naked pictures of your sister.

How often do you and your husband make love? Is it enough for him? Maybe that's why he's looking in your sister's drawers...

I have a question: Why your sister have photographs of herself naked? And why accessible? I mean one thing is to have some daring photos, but naked? it seems to me that she's on something and your husband knew and just took advantage of it. I am not saying he's right, because it is not, but there is someting else fishy here.

You cannot CONTROL everything in your husband's life. Just because he married you and you married him there is no reason to think that he feels the same way about things that you do. Take it easy on him; stop being so controlling. You'll end up with a much happier marriage.

What he did is just creepy. I don't consider porn cheating, but the Bible does.

Hmm if it was of someone else's sister then i would say it was fine. As its yours i think its kinda pervy. He probably had to go routing to find them, and then the fact that he stole them is really bad! He's probably comparing in some sick way the two of you. I think he may need counciling. What does your sister think of this?!

The act itself is not cheating, its what's behind it that would concern me. Why does he want naked pics of your sis and more importantly why would he go to the length of stealing them? Does he have an interest in your sister or is he just a perv (sorry to refer to him that way)? You need to sit down and talk to him.

it raises quite a few questions to be honest

Not cheating... but you have to consider it as rather weird and disturbing. would you steal naked pictures of his brother? and if he found out, how would he react?;

It sure is. The minute he took those vows to forsake all others he agreed to give up all women,but you, real or paper or otherwise. And the fact that he is still doing this behind your back proves that he's a selfish, disrespectful, lying jerk that you need to divorce. Not just for yourself, but for the safety of your daughter. Because if he will violate your sister this way your daughter's next. No matter how much "Help" he gets, because guess what? That stuff doesn't work. It actually feeds the addiction to be sitting in a room with a bunch of pervs talking about their experiances with porn. As for your sister. I have some very serious doubts about her side of the story. I have never heard of anyone keeping naked pictures of themselves in the linen closet. After all kids can climb. Either that or he lied about where he found them. But for him to take pictures from her home that were sexual is just digusting. After all once he married you she became his sister. Plus the statements you've made about what he did to your niece makes me even more worried about what he will do to your daughter. He obviously has no sexual boundries. I'm going to address the daughter now. You need to get her away from him as fast as you can before he does something to her if he already hasn't. Believe me, he's a least thought about it. You need to protect her anyway you can so she won't be another victem of childhood abuse like you. Kick his butt to the curb NOW. And to all those people telling her that she did something wrong or wasn't giving him what he needed that's not true. She's the one who's had her wants and needs ignored while he's been getting what he wants else where. She's not the one who's insecure and immature with no communication skills when it comes to sex. He is. This whole thing about turning it back on her is men's way of trying to get rid of their feelings of guilt and inferiourity by saying it's her fault when it's not. It's his. Belive me, I've been in her shoes. I will say this about the whole subject, it's totally natural for men, even married men, to be turned on by women who are not their spouses. It is not normal to ignore your spouse in favour of these women. Especilly if the way you veiw them is in a sexually exploitive and degrading way. Which is what porn is, no matter how "tastefully" it's done. Now's there's an oximoron if I ever herd one tastfull porn.

I would have a hard time getting past that one. I would always feel like he is thinking of her when he's with me. It would feel like he betrayed me and her just like he had actually cheated.

Is it cheating, absolutely yes it is. Does this mean that he would rather be with your sister instead of you? I don't thinks so. I am a person who has dealt, and is dealing with, a porn addiction. And that is what this is. It honestly has nothing to do with what the girls look like or who they are. The truth of the matter is that this is something that needs to be addressed. To him these are not just pictures, they are a drug, and should be treated as such. Unfortunately, this, like any other addiction is life long. You said that you asked him to stop, and he told you that he did. From experience, a person cannot stop by themselves. That is why organizations, such as Alcholics Anon. exist. I would encourage you, and your husband to seek counseling, and possibly porn addiction rehab programs. My wife and I attended some of these in our own church. It is not easy to stay clean, and it takes hard work on both partners part, but I do know that my wife and I are stronger in our marriage because of this.

Let me give you my own definition of 'cheating', IF HE/SHE WILL NOT DO IT IN FRONT OF YOU it is considered CHEATING.I hope my definition will help you.

I would not say it is cheating. men love to look at other women. After all they are so beautiful you can't blame them. And your sister is undoudtedly hot. But the fact that he stole them. thats a whole other matter. does your sister know? Don't ask me why but men love porn. I have been married for 11 years and have run into this few times myself. I certainly had feelings of rejection. But Then I realized most men are just perves. One thing on their mind. So now I work really hard to keep my husband satifies so he doesn't feel the need to EVER go anywhere else to get or see BOOTY. That said, Porn/naked pictures are a form of Pornea(Fornication). And you do have grounds for seperation if you feel it has affected your sex life with him. I would though talk it out and try to forgive him. He is after all only a man. And quite honestly you will have this problem with about 90% of any man you have a relationship with in this sex crazed world we live in.

Ok people I do not think she said an age on her sister if she is younger than 18 then he is defently able to be prosocuted. If she alowed them to be taking it is not larcony because she consented to having them takin. Do I think it was wrong to take them HELL YES it was, is it cheating I would say no again becuse she consented to having them takin in the first place. If he took the photos from her home without permision then it is "thieft by unatherized taking" a "class e mistermener" (less than a speeding ticket), however if she is under the age of 18 when they where taking then it is not only "thieft by unatherized taking" it is also "child pronography" not only on his part for having posestion of them but who ever took them as well and who ever took them would also be facing possable charges of "child molestation" as well. And about making sexuall advances tward the kids has he made any remarks, has he shown any signs of advances tward them and has the kids said anything about this? If not then I would hold that at face value and trust that he would not. However if one of the kids comes and says that he did I would trust them, I would not confront him about it then but would go right to a police report and file charges. I have seen to many times when the mother confronted the father about it and the father lied and then started beating the child as well as molesting them so they would be too afraid to talk. Any ways you are going to do what you want belive what you want and nothing any one could or will say is going to change that but keep in mind what ever you decide to do you will have to live with.

My saying again is "If he does something that he wouldn't do with you present, he's feeling guilty enough that it must be cheating in his mind." He is feeling unfaithful. It's obvious he wouldn't have done this around you so I think you have every right to be upset and cheated on, though no fault goes to your poor sister who now has this to deal with also. I'm so sorry. Bad situation. I'd say see if he will admit to having a problem and then get some help. Porn is an addiction that stirs up the opiates in your brain, just like heroin and is supposedly harder to quit. He can't quit on his own, I'm thinking. He needs help

What happened to you really sickens me especially lusting your sister, out of all people to be lusting. I know what your going thru I am going thru something simular if not worse. I found porn magazines with faces cut out all thru the magazines in different positions girls with girls ect.and in the magazines I found pictures of my sister,ex daughter-inlaw and her sister they were clothed in the pictures but he was putting them behind the cutouts. I was devastated when I found them. He was masturbating pretending it was them in the cut outs. We have been married for 22 years and get this my sister is married to his cousin who is like a brother to him. He has messed everything up. My sister is so upset and feels like shes been raped.I have cried my eyes out for 5 months. He admitted to what he was doing and has apoligized but that doesn't change anything with me. I am going to leave him for good. I have not left because I became ill right after I found out and was hospitalized and was sick for 4 months with an illness but now I am finally getting better. I would say to leave him he will do it again if not worse. I feel for you and I know how much pain your going thru. Lets get on with our lives even if its hard on us.

I think you should consider your self lucky. That is all that happened and let go.He could have done a lot worst!!!!!!!

Heck no that ain't cheeting , but you can bet your last dollar that's next.

I think it would be cheating looking at a naked picture of your sister and you have to think how did he get tham? Think about that!

I think it would be interesting to resume the whole situation. I consider the question as answered and the problem on its way to being solved. I read all the answers and comments and there are some clues which were not included in the question. If you do the same, you will then notice that: - jake1973(Betrayed) agrees with julie_johnson and loharv when they say that it is cheating (well, you could eventually not agree with this) - her husband is finally getting help through therapy & 12 steps. - he has apologized, he is out of the denial stage now and he has to deal with the other illegal behaviors of his addiction, he made that choice! - Mind that the asker "Betrayed" had in the meantime changed her avatar name to "jake 1973"

It doesn't matter whether or not total strangers think it is cheating... there are some pretty messed up people out there (me included, my answer i think is still valid, though) and will give stupid answers... I think everyone knows that he shouldn't have done it... and that is all that matters. If it can be defined in Webster's Dictionary as cheating fine, if not, well just as fine... The case still remains... he should not have done it... like you said... he should have just left them there in the first place. we all do stupid things because of our biological need to express sexuality... and sometimes lie about it if not socially acceptable... but that is no excuse for doing something... he needs to learn to express his sexuality with you... not whacking it to pictures of your sister... whether it is cheating or not... it does not matter... he should apologize to you... fess up be responsible... and make things better with you... granted i'm an 18 year human with a penis, failed high-school and work at a gas-station making $7.00/hour... so take this advice at you own risk...

I think most of you are acting just plain childish...but quite normal for most women. This kind of thing happens "shit happens" it's called life, if you love your husband, talk about it and move on. In most cases if you as the women were providing for your husband "great sex" then he would not be looking anywhere else. Focus on your relationship problems and not some dumb naked pictures, weather there your sister or some stranger!

This is NOT Cheating, If you knew that your husband enjoyed looking at porn, then it is not cheating. *edit* The Fact that he had naked photos of your sister, is bad, but can be explained if you want to save the relationship. If you feel that there is something else between them other than the "photos" then the question you are asking is the wrong question... the fact that you have problems with porn is the problem. If you want to enjoy a close relationship with your husband, you need to repair yourself first. I know that you have had problems in the past with abuse, but you as a person have to get past the feelings of guilt for something that was done to you. you need to find a way of getting comfortable with your body, and sharing that with your husband in a personal way. he loves you or he would not be with you, you need to look at some nudity in a safe atmosphere, and share with your husband, you need to allow him access to how you feel about your body and allow him to share how he feels also. just because he admires the female form does not mean he is cheating. A lot of men learn about their sexuality through porn and nude photos. While this is probably not wise, we then get used to looking at photos that both we admire and compare to all the photos that we have seen in our lives. If you take a strict line about him cheating, you will then be allowing yourself an excuse to tear your relationship apart. instead try to learn from this experience, and ask questions of him, not accusations. go to www.domai.com and take a look at the free nudes on that sight, then look at the photos with your husband, find out why he would look at photos like that, and how they make him feel. and try to admire the beauty of the photos, and not judge him. You can always Judge him, and leave him, but does that really solve the problem? If you really don't love him and don't want to understand him, then why ask the question? don't you really just want an excuse to leave him. and make him the bad guy, instead of you dealing with your problems? He should not have lied, but what should he have done, tell you strait up, nope honey, I will continue to look at and appreciate porn, and will look at it as long as I am alive, But I will do my best to not look at it around you. What would you nave done? broke up with him? got a divorce? Just make sure what you do is the best thing for your relationship and you. hiding your pain and not dealing with it is not how you become closer in your relationship.

This is definitely cheating, it is also sickening - how would your sister feel if she knew your partner had been looking at naked pictures of her. I think you really need to talk to your husband about this as I think it is totally unacceptable.

it not cheating thats daft to think that if anything it is rather disturbing and perverted But a naked woman in kindo of like looking at porn to him nothing more

you are right, he should have left the photos of her there so her kids could find them. and came to her later when they showed the photos to all of their friends, and some of their friends parents!!! We don't know that he pleasured himself to these photos, only that he had them. I don't even know that he did anything but look at them once, and placed them back in the envelope and took them to keep them safe from the kids... unless you have any inside info that you are not telling about??

Is it cheating? Well, the depends on how you define cheating. Maybe 'cheating' is not the correct word, however I would say that it is a serious offense and maybe even worse than you originally thought. Let's take the key words from your statement and question: (my)husband stole naked (pictures) (my)sister Just looking at these key words, I would say that your husband has a serious problem that is causing him to break the law, betray his wife, and intrude upon his sister-in-law's privacy. It appears to also be sex-related and (this last part is just a guess), I assume that you 'caught' him with the photos - that he attempted to do this secretly. It sounds to me as if he needs some serious psychological help before his problem gets worse. JMHO!

i dont know about cheating, but i would sure consider it creepy!

No, this is called "stealing". Cheating is what happens when your husband sleeps with your sister.

I would think that your husband has some issues. Would it bother you if they weren't of your sister? No one wants their significant other fantasizing about their sibling. It calls into question their intentions of being with you... did they do it to get closer to him/her?

Damn, How Did you find out?? I am only 1/32nd Troll, But the fact that Trolls don't wear clothes kinds of effects my feelings about photos of family naked. all photos of my troll family is naked. they don't own clothes, so I find this situation funny, as being a troll, I have photos of all my relatives naked.

No, it's not cheating. It's just REALLY REALLY creepy, theft, and probably good non-cheating grounds for a divorce.

I don't think it is cheating. I think it it is robbery. You can get arrested for robbery, but I don't think you can get arrested for cheating. It is wrong no matter what you call it though.

Shannon Tweed's son saw naked pictures of his Mom, geez, how twisted is that? OKAY girls, if you don't want this to be an issue, keep your panties ON. Otherwise we'll be seeing this scenario play out in so many variant forms. Would you like your naked pics uploaded to the Internet? Keep your panties ON. You can blame the guy, and sure he did steal them, but why are they NOT locked away like money in the bank? Failing that, why did you NOT keep your panties ON?

I don't know if you are still reading the answers to this... Anyway, just to let you know my husband did the same thing. Except he also took it a step further and posted the pictures to the internet as the pictures he stole were actually from her computer. And to top it all off he stole them while we were visiting for Christmas 07 ( I was 6 mo. pregnant with our first child) and then he posted them to the internet 2 days before I gave birth. So, I just wanted to let you know that I can really sympathize with you. I don't know if I will ever get over this and it has made my marriage absolute hell.

men have to express their sexual drive... I let my lover look at porn since it gets him hot when im not there. But he understands that he is NEVER to touch another girl. and never to do it while i am around. For your husband, its just a way to get hot, not a way of hurting you or cheating. I can understand that you are sensitive about it because of your past. But i believe you can grow past what has hurt you. Men are hopeless hungry pigs. They crave sexuality and just cant do anything about it. Its healthy. Just have to let them feed the cravings. Its nothing to do with you... They are just like that. The fact that it was your sister's picture is disturbing... i agree. but from what i can tell, he just seemed desperate for it (NOT your fault) and came across those pictures. hope this helps.

Not really but it sure is grose.

Not quite cheating, but he has big brass balls, that is for sure. Even if I found photos like that, to take them would take either huge nerve or a small mind.

Not only cheating but just plain sick, disrespectful, and about 1000 other things that i could say...

Your husband is a theif, if he had slept with your sister then that would be cheating.

if you still have the pictures post them somewhere for us all to look at, and we will be the judge of either cheating or if the pics were worth taking i mean if your sister is gorgeous and above 18 why the hell not take a look at her, id do the same,maybe he thought im sick of looking at my wife lets prod into seeing her sister i dunno in m eyes the guy's not guilty

Hmm if I had a sister and knew my husband had done that I'd be pissed would I consider it cheating probally not. I just cannot imagine what he was thinking. Is your sister married and what does her hubby think he needs to beat your hubbys ass for being a dumb ass. I don't know what to say...Good luck to you.

Divorce this guy already... You have To Made up your OWN mind!!! IF you don't love him, and want to divorce him, you are just searching for a excuse! Who cares about some naked photos? they don't mean SHIT!!! IF you want a Divorce, file for a divorce!!! if you don't trust your husband, It does not matter whether you caught your husband with photos or balls deep in your sister, it is your decision whether you can live with it or not. So Why ask us, you need to make that decision. But If this Gus isn't Cheating now, he has in the past, otherwise, you would have been blaming your sister instead of him. It sounds to me as if there is Trust issues with him, and you neet to take care if that if your relationship has any hope at all. Just Divorce him. simple as that.

He didn't actually committ the act of cheating unless he was physical with someone. I do believe he has some kind of thing for your sister or why would he steal any type of picture of her. He sounds like a pervert.

Not only is this cheating, it is also theft.

Nope its theft!

You have a right to be upset, that's obvious, but he did not cheat. He is guilty of being a male. Most, if not all , men will have the desire to see sexual pictures of other women. It is a weakness we just have, is is testosterone? Maybe.Most men know that our wives/girlfriends will not be able to understand why we have this born fascination, so we peak in the privacy of our offices or computer or ... In most cases this helpd men to be more sexual towards our significant other because we see sexual poses or images that we would like to try. There is a guilt at times for watching movies or pictures, but in general, we are mostly loyal and devoted to our wife/girlfriend. And when the time comes for some spicy sex, is it appreciated when us men get creative? This has to come from somewhere and not all womand are open to seek new sexual positions or drive, this is left for the men to provide. It is alot of pressure at times, especially when you consider it gets harder to give a woman an orgasm as the years go on. We need help being greative or just something to increase our sex drive. I know this is a long response but it all works together. Your husband can look at pics of your sis simply because: a)they were available and b) she must have some of the same qualities of you. Don't get overly offended, in an odd way, what he sees in her nude pics is probably the sneaky playful thoughts or things he sees or can relate to in you. I honestly don't think his intentions were to cheat or hurt you. She just has some of the same qualities of you that he finds attractive in the first place. I think the big mistake you made was telling your sister before really giving time to think this through, because now the friendship that she and your husband shared through marriage may be ruined forever. Somethings are best resolved within the direct household, unless of course something more serious or criminal occurs. I hope this may help the two of you somehow. Good luck.

Don't think so. Better send 'em to me to make sure.

I'M sorry for your pain. This is not considered cheating. The fact that you two are married, and this is your sister, is another issue all together.

Wow...

I'd consider it stealing and pervy.

It's not cheating but...WAZZZUP WIT DAT YO?....

No... It's stealing. HOWEVER, if YOU think it's cheating (do you think it's cheating if he looks at Playboy? ... porn?) then that's your opinion, and he should try to respect your wishes (but you need to respect his, too... You BOTH need to compromise.) Because it was your sister, is a bit upsetting... How did he find them? Why did he steal them? But I can't answer that.

ummm...thats just plain gross how long have u guys been married? hopefully he's not doing anything with ur sister or maybe he just fancies her idk i would talk to him about it and talk to her about it see if she knows about it and i would beat the shit out of him because thats just gross and plus thats your sister

No, but that makes him a theif and some would say a pervert.

I would consider it a form of infidelity, yes. The fact that they were of my sister, and he stole them would exacerbate it. My primary upset, though, would be at the breach of our sexual exclusivity.

Yes it's definitely cheating. He prob played with himself while viewing the photos. The point is that he is viewing your sister in a sexual way, and to view someone other than your better half sexually is cheating, no matter how expressed.

It may not be cheating exactly, but it's extremely inappropriate behavior, and not one you should have to tolerate, particularly since this is your sister we're talking about. (What is she doing leaving naked pictures of herself around for him to find anyway?)

Oh lighten up. It's fucked up but its not "cheating". Let's clear something up because this question comes up in a lot of different variations: Cheating is having sexual relations, oral, vaginal anal or otherwise, with someone that is not your significant other. Anything short of that is not cheating. Doesn't mean its not a reason to be upset, but it's NOT cheating. Now, sure, your husband stealing naked pics of your sister is a pretty scummy thing to do. But let's look at a the bigger picture here. From what I gather from all the information you posted, you sound like a REALLY constrictive person, especially in the arena of sex. You don't want him looking at porn?? Are you serious? You used the phrase "lustful way", which indicates that you are hardcore religious, which when coupled with your sexual trauma, probably makes you INCREDIBLY sexually vacant. Your husband has evolved into a scumbag because you have restrained anything resembling a sexual appetite in him. You are forcing your "sex is sinful" radical religious belief structure on him when it's not for him. If the guy likes porn and he's still coming home to you, let him watch it. He stole the pictures of your sister as an attempt to lash out at the cage you have put him in. You want people to do really crazy shit? Try to restrain their humanity. You will never be disappointed.

Is Betrayed and Jake1973 the same person using 2 different accounts?

The theft is theft, not cheating. The fact that it was not given to him or taken with him makes it not cheating. The fact that it was your sister is creepy at best. But it does tell you that he has interest in her, and outside your marriage. I would say its a big deal but not cheating........yet..... You have trouble brewing in this one.

Yes that is cheating! That is perverted! Does your sister know your husband is a pervert?!

that's not cheating, that's just disgusting.

Course not it just means he likes your sisters body... naked...

How about creepy & disgusting?

No it's considered creepy

He is horny and wierd. If he wants some naked pictures, he should ask you - HIS WIFE - to be the model. Why was he snooping through her stuff? He has a major problem. Your sister is going to kill him. (Hope he has good life insurance)

whats wrong with people...arghhhhh thats really sick

i dont know if it would be cheating, i would say he is a pervert! if my husband stoled my sis naked pic. I would be freakend PIST! I would make me feel weird when my sis is around, I'll be thinking of all the WHAT IF's...wouldn't you?

sounds like a creep I mean he was probably digging around her underwear drawer too

Check it here, I hope this could help.. 1. Paying a prostitute for (safe) sex 2. Having sex with someone from the office at a drunken office party 3. Having sex with someone from the office while at work 4. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar after an argument at home 5. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar while away from home 6. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you will never meet 7. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you do meet 8. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like but they do not know 9. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like and you lied about the meeting 10. Holding hands with someone else in public when your partner is not around 11. Oral sex from you 12. Oral sex on you 13. Thinking of someone else while having sex with your partner 14. Buying secret gifts for someone else 15. Sending secret texts to someone else 16. Telling someone of the opposite sex all your secrets and your feelings about your partner but without touching them at all 17. Kissing someone else passionately 18. Buying flowers for someone else but not telling your partner 19. Buying flowers for someone else who your partner does not like and not telling your partner All of those are cheating, and that list is but a tiny tiny fraction of what I think another person would use in a fight - and when trust is broken, a fight (hopefully just verbal) results. So going back to the article at LifeHut, and using that list, I got the impression that the author there would tick all the ’sex’ items. Of course reading this list he will tick them all probably, but that was my impression. And I think that the sex assumption is wrong. Sex is a biological urge. Stronger in some than others, inflamed by alcohol and circumstances but it’s just an act. It’s almost ‘notch on the bedpost’ stuff, it’s about conquest, immediate satiation, lust, scoring and any number of other euphemisms we have for sexual intercourse. In the end though, it’s a base urge and one that arguably we can lose control of at times. Note - I said arguably. So the sex thing .. yes, it is cheating IF both partners agree - and that could be a complex area. Cheating is when the harmed person says it is, not when you think it is. Number 16 is the killer - and I’ve known people who would class 10 as a hanging offence. There’s no touching going on. There’s no base urges happening, but they have just bared their soul to someone else. Which scenario is worst ? • Your partner walks in and says “I’ve just had sex with X from work” OR • Your partner walks in and says “I’ve just told everything I feel about us and you to X from work” Initially, the first hurts but this - however much you protest - could be ‘defended’ albeit it in a way you might not agree with. But the second ? there is no defence for that. That was actively disclosing information to someone else who now possesses that information and even if they never use it against you, you cannot feel the same about them again. In fact they both hurt, but very differently. Because of the first, physical intimacy becomes difficult but because of the second emotional intimacy is ruined. The problem is that you simply cannot ask all the possible questions and even if you did, you would get not all the answers back. I don’t think you can get through any relationship of any depth over an extended period of time without some form of ‘cheating’ going on. If you have done something - anything - that your partner would not like and you have not told them, then they could class that as cheating. You may not see it that way, but your view counts for nothing at that point in time. Test: if they did what you just have, would you be happy about it ? Another test: if you won the lottery would you choose ‘No Publicity’ because of what the Press would dig up about you ? So where’s my answer ? I haven’t got one. I don’t believe there is one despite all these junk TV programmes and Agony Aunt columns advising us about what not to do and when not to do it. I also don’t think we should carry on our lives as if our partners were perched on our shoulders - aren’t they meant to enhance our life, not possess or dictate it ? Fidelity is what you and your partner say it is. And as much as you believe in it, one day you’ll screw it up. That’s the way life is.

hahaha, your husband sounds awesome :-) thats made my day

I would say NO. That is not cheating. Do you want him to cheat OR are you cheating?

I believe that it is a form of cheating , i aheb the same problem with my husbant looking at porn. How ever not my sister. It makes me feel unloved and i am scared that he will cheat. I make love to him and do what ever he likes or i like, bou recentley he doesnt want to make love to me and we are only 4 months married. I feel for you , i am lost .

Screw the cheating. The danger is that he could post them on a website.

How come he saw the photos in the first place. Perhaps you should watch your sister as well.

My gut response is that there's a lot more going on here. Sure men desire other women, sure they desire our sisters. I would say that no well-adjusted healthy man would steal naked pictures from anyone's home. This is someone who has no respect for boundaries and is exhibiting predatory behavior.

No. This is not cheating. This is a crime. He is violating her privacy, disrespecting his commitment to you, and presenting behavior that is potentially dangerous. These secretive sexual tendencies should send up huge red flags. I also would be very concerned if you have children together. Maybe you should see a professional together.