- NEW!
by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on September 20th, 2007
Operator: Hello 9-1-1 emergency dispatch, how may I help you.
Man: I need help with my erection...
Operator: Oh my god, you pervert! *click*
Man dials again
Operator: 9-1-1 emergency dispatch, what is your emergency?
Man: My penis wont go down.... I need help with my erection
Operator: Sir, do you know you can be fined for prank calls to an emergency line?
Man: It's not a prank.... I can't get it to go down, will you please help me?!!
Operator: Pervert! *click*
Yeah I can't imagine that's a good call to make! lol
by Stableboy on September 19th, 2007
Um... well this is a bit outside my usual comfort zone... but when I was about 20 I had a very long date with a girl who just pushed all the right buttons for a very long time. We were out with friends, went dancing and partying and whatever, and there was just no way to "resolve" the issue, if you get my drift. I think it was about 4 hours or more of this, and I was definitely ready for a doctor at the end. Would she call 911? Maybe not, but I might have if it had gone on any longer.
by lady fuschia on September 20th, 2007
Well a balanced view is called for I think - I'd ask him whether it hurt first and THEN cut the phone line.
I do wonder how many calls a year emergency control rooms get of this type - and how many of the female operators respond with either fits of the giggles or "What was the address again? I'll be right there..."
by Capt.Lizzie_pirate king_Swann on September 19th, 2007
Actually, it sounds painful to me, so I think I'd call the Doctor. Sorry to be a party pooper here, but "Ouch!"
by Cowboy-Matter of Fact on September 23rd, 2007
Some don't last 4 hours?
by MIA on September 19th, 2007
At your request dear Capt I will answer this....first off I am not sure I know any guys that would need the ED drugs but lets pretend I do....so in that case I would hesitate long enough to get where I needed to be...if you know what I mean....then I would politely dial 911. :)
by Anonymous on September 19th, 2007
Call 911 baby 'cause I'm goin' 'til my heart gives out!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
by American idle on September 20th, 2007
With the dates I've had, I'd like to call after 3 hours and 50 minutes.
by Redhawk on September 20th, 2007
Not likely to ever be an issue in MY life...but once the "eagle has landed" my honey and I just like to cuddle...that's girls for ya.
edit add on...reading these over (and laughing my azz off) I realized (and really, I'm not bragging!) It's never taken me and mine (or any others I might know of) four hours to REACH a point of total satisfaction...unless you count extended and provocative foreplay...
by gtravels loves her life penguin on September 19th, 2007
I'd call 911 and play ring toss until the paramedics arrived. Proceed to walk bow-legged to the door to let them in. After they left, I might feel lonely, so I'd pour myself a stiff one. Then I'd go to sleep. It had been a hard night;)
by SusieQ on September 20th, 2007
4 hours? Wow! That's a really long time. I would give it a go but I wouldn't cut the phone line "just in case" 911 is needed.
Cute question;)
by Sandra havent been here since forever on September 19th, 2007
well me personally would cut the phone line and consult the doctor in the morning hehe
by Firebrand on September 19th, 2007
Depends if the woman was just into the sex act or enjoyed the culmination of the act.
Or wanted to be able to walk the next day.
by I love my baby on September 23rd, 2007
lmao!!!!!! This has got to be the funniest question EVER posted! If he was still enjoying I don't think I could interrupt him with a phone call. (That would be considered rude, right?)
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on September 23rd, 2007
I'd not only cut the phone line, but toss the cell phone out the window.
by Pumby umby umpkin Est. 1989 on September 20th, 2007
Gets scissors out......
See you in 4 hours AB!
by Cynstriss on September 19th, 2007
Sure, I'll take a stab - oh wait, a certain aber who shall remain nameless will think I'm cheating on her, I mean them, so let me rephrase that. I'll give you an answer! As long as (s)he's "up" for it and not complaining, I'm going for it. I do have airbags in case of an emergency, you know!
by Fun on September 19th, 2007
Oh geeze... I LOVE how I got an email to respond to this...
Okay...
Women don't want more than four hours... we are tired... gimme two hours, and I am good. More than that... I should be dead... and if it does last for more than four hours... Honestly...
It should break off... or get a hooker.
by Sosueme on September 19th, 2007
Great question. While it can be dangerous for the guy, I've always chuckled at the commercials. I doubt my g/f would complain and I'd probably be too tired to call 911:)
by Someone on September 19th, 2007
I think...if they ever wanted to have sex again they'd call.
Unless you're sexing an idiot. O.o
Or someone who wants you dead/your thing dead.
My favorite line from those is the "Make sure your heart is healthy enough for sex" =o
by Nelson L. Squeeko on September 19th, 2007
Depends on how long ago the "act" ended, or if it's still going on.
I remember one SNL skit was parodying ED drugs. Except it's line was "If your erection lasts for more than 4 hours, call a friend, and brag about it"
by Im going hoooome on September 19th, 2007
My woman would still be moaning and in no condition to dial any number or cut any line. Speaking of cutting, no sharp utensils for her at all with all of her eradic movements!! haha!
by crazy-cab on December 13th, 2007
well if i happened to be the female involved i certainly wouldnt be phoning emergency services - i'd be having to much fun :)
by Zack on September 19th, 2007
Well since I don't have a significant other anymore and I've given up hooker....I mean escorts, I guess I'll just have to cut the line and masturbate until I lost it. Its kinda cool to blow it and still be erect.
by loveschimps on September 19th, 2007
I would want to call 911 Everything in moderation....
by Scrappy on August 12th, 2008
I can hear the conversations in the ambulance now.. answer a call to this residence for what? did I hear you right? and then bouts of laughter. but you know what Bill Engvall says about that. he says that at least "they would have a handle to carry him out". LOL
by milkhoney on December 11th, 2007
"You can call the hospital after I fall asleep!"
by koldkanuck on December 6th, 2007
In case of an erection lasting more than four hours get out your little black book and start calling in favors.
Tie his feet and hands to the bedposts and ride m cowgirl.
by Anonymous on October 16th, 2007
Lets see 911 Hey I'm having a bit of a problem. My erection is not going down something like ED. So Can ya get me the paramedics to come and help me and be sure to bring me some donuts and Starbucks? 10 minutes later the Paramedics come without sirens or lights and walk in. All of a sudden the erection grows when you see the hot lady Paramedic lol. They take you to the Emergency Department where your Erection Disorder is treated to the tune of $4,000 dollars. All because your love life is overreacting lol
by Michie on October 2nd, 2007
Jeez, if it's gonna last that long, call ME!!
by Taciturnu on October 2nd, 2007
I work in emergency medicine.
The medical term is priapism, and can be present in some trauma cases (bad sign, by the way. And not entirely on-topic).
Four hours is not a great deal of time overall, but it can become painful, and I would recommend talking to a doctor if it goes longer. Reason being, you risk damage to the penis and its structures.
To answer the question, if I were involved in an instance of an erection lasting longer than four hours, I would call my husband's Primary Care Physician if it happened to be during business hours. If not, I would drive him the ER. As much as he doesn't want to lose it, I don't want him to either. :)
by Grammy Robin on September 30th, 2007
911..????? What's that?
by Capt. Jack Sparrow GALCIY on January 5th, 2008
When the moment is right, will YOU be ready?
by kat on May 23rd, 2008
if she got her orgasms then she will call 911.....if she didnt get hers she will cut alllll lines of communicatn off
by medicgirl on May 23rd, 2008
Priapism is an erection lasting more than 4 hours and it is painful and can cause cardiac problems, it is an actual medical emergency. especially if caused by ED meds since they can effect your blood pressure
I would call because if he falls over dead you can't have sex with him again
He can always get it back up with the viagra
by AnaContessa on November 15th, 2007
The concern about an erection lasting more than four hours is because of a condition called Priapism.
Potential complications of Priapism include ischemia, clotting of the blood retained in the penis (thrombosis), and damage to the blood vessels of the penis which may result in an impaired erectile function or impotence. In serious cases, the ischemia may result in gangrene, which could necessitate penis removal.
Still think it's a laughing matter?
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by wtfwasthat on November 3rd, 2011
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You're reading ED commercials always state that "In the case of erections lasting more than 4 hours, contact your doctor immediately" So my question is this: How many think the female involved would call 911 and how many would cut the phone line?
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Comments
I think you're probably supposed to actually go to the hospital rather than phone 911. I doubt they'd send an ambulance out anyway.
by lady fuschia on September 20th, 2007
well.... if you are the only one who can drive(I don't) and considering the blood required to run that particular body part... you probably should call 9-1-1. After that long it can make a guy pass out because not enough blood reaches the brain. It is actually a serious problem(priopism). Complications can and do occur during and after the treatment for priapism. These complications include:
recurrence of priapism
bleeding from the holes placed in the penis as a part of the shunting procedure
infections
skin necrosis
infection of the corporal body
infection of the skin around it
damage to the urethra and the urine tube, including strictures
holes between the urethra and the skin
loss of the penis
by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on September 20th, 2007
They give you high dose benadryl(i think) and if that doesn't work, they bleed the penis to let it down, if that doesn't work they might have to remove it.... some people with pre-existing heart conditions or sickle-cell have died from it.
by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on September 20th, 2007
LMMFAO!Yeah, I think that'd be about how that call would go!
;-{D~
by Capt. Jack Sparrow GALCIY on September 20th, 2007
lol.... calling 9-1-1 from a pirate ship is hard enough, eh?
by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on September 20th, 2007
I think they use smoke signals
by lady fuschia on September 21st, 2007
Aye to that! What we do lack in modern technology we make up for in old world charm.
;-{D~
by Capt. Jack Sparrow GALCIY on September 21st, 2007
cannon balls aren't allowed in the doctors office....
by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on September 21st, 2007
I lay money this has happened.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on September 23rd, 2007
I knew a pirate with cannon balls once, a bit too long at sea, Savvy?
;-{D~
by Capt. Jack Sparrow GALCIY on September 23rd, 2007
Where they blue cannon balls?
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on September 23rd, 2007
This was a really, really GOOD answer! So he calls again...Man: DON'T HANG UP..PLEASE...REALLY, I JUST NEED A HAND HERE! I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, WHO ELSE TO CALL..I'M ABOUT TO PASS OUT HERE. Ten minutes later 5 squads pull up light flashing, no sirens....
by Redhawk on September 24th, 2007
@PWP Indeed they were.
@Redhawk LMMFAO!
by Capt. Jack Sparrow GALCIY on September 24th, 2007
Oh, ouch, Captain.
That was just too good, Redhawk.
by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on September 24th, 2007
LOL!! Hilarious Rehhawk Zandlee!!
by Bartman on October 2nd, 2007