I can only answer from experience, but I would guess that chances are that he will not treat you the same, rather he will expect you too to spoil and admire his son. Hard to guess about future kids

I'd say you have a Gold Star cause for concern! While I think a parent SHOULD love and think the world of their child or children...I also believe in balance in all things. Granted, it's possible that the child is NOT spoiled and that YOU simply feel he is. Then again, you may be so dead on the mark that if it were a lotto ticket you'd be the next millionaire! The bottom line is that currently you feel that the child is spoiled and you have concerns that are making you feel uncomfortable...thats the heart of the matter and it does not bode well for a long term HAPPY relationship. If the Father is committed to being his child's best friend instead of being a PARENT...you got trouble in spades! I would say go forward slowly and with care. When a situation arises that you believe is not beneficial to the child receiving a balanced, healthy set of values...bring it up with Dad...NOT in front of the child. If Dad takes great offense, tells you to butt out, or verbally slams your effort to gently communicate your concerns...BACK OUT AND FIND A NEW GUY! I assume that if you were going to marry him, you are committed to loving and raising his existing child with the same values and considerations you would raise children you might give birth to...and if the two of you do not have the same values as to how children should be raised...it's not going to be fun, or comfortable for ANYONE in the family.

I was in the same boat. My husband treated his son like he was still attached to the umbilical cord. He is now 16 & I have a closer relationship to him than his father. He gets irritated when Dad asks him for something, but when I ask him, he acts like I am his real mother. If you really care about him, he will see it & the child will too. I can't tell you that he will treat you better or worse. that is something you will have to determine after observing for awhile. I can guarantee you that if you start showing resentment towards his kis (which BTE it's not his fault), he will treat you like you dirt. Try & develop & good relationship with his kid. If he can see that you care about his son & him, he won't treat you with any disrespect. At least he shouldn't. if it's meant to be, then the child will grow up knowing that you do care about him & things will just fall into place. If you start to act like a child about it yourself, then the realtionship is doomed.

As a general rule you always love your kids more than a partner (whether that partner is also the kid's parent or not) and the kid always comes first. That's just how it is. So in answer to your questions: I doubt it, and I doubt it. Even when parents show a tiny bit of preferential behaviour to firstborns, they don't LOVE them more.

He should treat his son like gold that tells you what kind of a father he is and would be like if you had children together. His love will be totally different for you AND BETTER if you were treat his son like he was your own. As a parent I would have such deep love for whoever I was with if they should my son attention and love. Good Luck!

I am in the exact same boat. For instance. Last night, my boyfriend's 4 year old son was throwing a temper tantrum (usually on que every 20 minutes) in the kitchen. My boyfriend just sat in the living room ignoring the tantrum. I knew that his son was sleepy and took it upon myself to take him in his room and put his jammies on. i wasn't putting him to bed, just preparing him. Well, he fought me the entire time. Not once did dad get up and assist. He wants to appear to be the "good parent". So I finally get the boy dressed for bed, and I'll be dammed if he didn't come out of his room, with his street clothes back on. Then he proceeded to pout in the corner of the living room, giving me dirty looks and spitting his tongue out at me. Dad's response: cuddled and rocked him to sleep. Didn't discipline him for any of his actions. My 4 year old daughter knows better! She does not act that way toward me or any other adults. Dad's, when divorced, DO want to be the "good guy". My ex is the same way with our daughter. No discipline what-so-ever!!! I've made it a point to avoid the kid all together if possible. On the nights that we have the brat, I make a bubble bath and keep a bottle of wine handy. Its the only way I can cope when he is around. He screams like a squeeling pig everytime my daughter is around him, he is selfish (he WONT SHARE), and he is extremely defiant. Hang in there girl...I suggest yoga/meditation...or barracade yourself like I do. There's been nights that I've stayed in the tub for hours just to avoid the chaos and spoiling.