I told my boyfriend of 2 yrs that I cheated on him while on Holiday, I've cheated 4 times in 4 mos. But i love him & want 2 stop. "Friends" want me to come clean, but I've only told him about 1 occasion, if I tell him he we will break up and I've changed
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 12
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I can tell you how wrong what you did was I can tell you that you deserve whatever you get for what you did I can tell you what a horrible horrible little selfish girl you are for only thinking of your own needs but I won't first there are too many others who once they see this question will judge you that way and I chose not to be another one of them secondly I believe in your heart you are sorry You need to come clean and tell him everything and whatever happens happens if you end up breaking up which most likely will end up being the case maybe you will learn to put your partners feelings first in your next relationship before your own needs
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my bf that i love with all my heart just told me last week that he cheated on me (said it was once) and he regrets it and i believe he is truly sorry... but, after reading your message, i wonder, would i want to know if he cheated more... Yes i would, but it was break my heart and i know i wouldnt be able to work it out with him... he already broke my heart once for telling me, then i start to re-trust and breaks it again... until you are on the other side of the table i dont think you will understand how hard it is to hear that the person you love most in the world cheated on you. I do think that its important to tell though, it would be 100 times worst if he hears it from someone else... just one question to you. Were the others meaningless? What makes you believe you truly changed? how would you feel if he did the same to you? why did you cheat? The "why" is what I find the hardest to deal with.
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Your friends are right. If you truely are sorry you need to come clean and face the music. If you really love him you owe him honesty in all things. At least this way he has all the information to decide if he wants to be with someone who does not really love him, disrespects him and the realtionship, lies, and is selfish, immature, and irresponsable. I'm going to tell you straight up that nobody can change this kind of a pattern of behaviour without first coming clean and getting long term psychatric treament for their sexual compulsions and psychosis. Especially as quickly as you claim you have. It just doesn't work that way. In fact every time I have delt with a cheater they use the same cock and bull you've used here. "I've changed. I'm so sorry." Then they just go right out and do it all over again. Especially if the person they cheated on takes them back.
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I'm sorry, if you truly loved him you wouldn't have cheated on him in the first place. You deserve to be dumped. Tell him the truth and expect to get dumped, don't tell him the truth and expect to get dumped. Once a cheater always a cheater.
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Sounds a lot like me. I told him the whole truth. I kept lying and lying about it even though I knew he was catching on and I knew that I would have to tell him the truth eventually, and I finally did and it felt so good to get everything off my chest that I wanted to tell him. It wears you down when your hiding the truth. there isn't one second that went by in the day that I didn't want to tell him everything, but I couldn't because I couldn't bear the consequences of what I had done to him. I know it sounds ironic, but we are still together. He loves me and we are working on our relationship. I always thought that he wouldn't be able to look at me the same. I would suggest coming clean and if he truly loves you , he will find a way to get past it. TELL HIM. IT will only make it worse if you hold it inside.
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the truth will set you free...or make you single...its a tough one. if it were me i would not tell. but if i were giving advice i might say its better for the relationship if you are honest. good luck
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you shouldn't have cheated once on him! its best you come clean and let him go, since you don't deserve him. If you really loved him you wouldnt even contemplate cheating on him, nevermind doing it four times.
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You have a very odd way of showing your love. 4 times in four months! Holy shit! I don't think it's going to stop. Clearly that is who you are. He probably wants someone who isn't cheating on him so I'd expect you are not a good match. He's probably going to hear about it through the grapevine so you should come clean. This relationship should be "put to bed" so to speak.
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your friends are right. lay your cards on the table, your boyfreind will be hurt and angry ofcourse but you should at least let HIM make the decision to believe and stay with you, it is selfish of you to try to keep this from him. ok, i believe you wont do it again, when your partner found out about the one occasion (most likely the last occasion) you saw how it affected him and realised how close you had come to losing him. But hun... its his choice and you cant have a good relationship based on lies, if your friends know they could tell him, better coming from your lips.
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um... no honey thats not love. Obviously if you had true love for him you woulnt have done it in the first place.. either tell him your sorry for hurting him and tell him the truth and tell him you understand if he wants to end it because he is worth so much more.. u might hit a soft spot and he wont end it... you shouldnt be in a relationship though if you cheat. once is like.. "oh i killed someone and oh ya did i forget to tell you about the 3 other innocent lives i took?? see how it sounds.."
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You do not mention how he reacted when you told him. To him it's the same whether you cheated once or 4 times. He either accepted it or threw a fit. Either way, you'll only damage your relation if you make any more confessions. Don't listen to your friends. I guess you've come to this forum because you cannot accept what your friends are asking of you. Handle your friends with great care. Don't discuss this matter any further with them. Take care they don't spill the beans on you, though. They might do it just for the fun to see you break up.
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Okay...i'm not sure in this question where the word love fits in. I think you are the kind of girl, who wants both sides, the freedom and the love, and unfortunately they don't go together. The poor guy that you cheated on! It's hard to find a faithful guy out there these days! Well being him i wouldn't go back to you! You need to be honest first of all with him, because honesty is the only way you may be able to gain trust with him in a couple years im guessing or so...So i'd let him know where you are coming from and that you have changed and of course he will be livid since you are his lover, and you've been with other people, but maybe he will forgive you at the end of everything. So my advice is be honest and open with him...thats the only thing that may save you guys!
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