My husband refuses to communicate and when I politely say something to him about it, he ALWAYS gets angry. I don't care how hard I try, he doesn't want to address ANYTHING. I have tried to approach him in many ways. Bottomline is he can't deal with it.
by 
reapingwhatisowed
ANSWERS: 8
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Was he a quiet man before you married him? Some men just don't like Drama and/or alot of issues. I imagine he has always been that way.
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22
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My ex-husband, who wouldn't shut up before we were married, decided he didn't want to communicate. My only regret is that I kept trying to communicate. After a certain point, I should have just ignored him and went about my business.
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My husband is the same way.. Unless other people are around then he is open and friendly. He like small talk about trival things...But refuses to discuss anythign important. he acts as if he is always being blamed and attacked. Sometime I just want to "brainstorm a probelm, discuss where to eat diner, come up with some options and talk about the pros and cons. He just wants to argue about everything. I am so frustrated. Is there a good book or video to help men with their communication issues?
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In a marriage, when the communication is gone, so is the marriage. people, living together under one roof, have to talk to each other. its like a one-sided romance. I have seen this situation many times in marriages. the bottom line reason is one of two: the husband has someone else or the husband has psychological problems, that have not been addressed. Its not normal for couples not to talk to each other, especially married couples.
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I think this is grossly immature, and also a way to "shut you down", feeling attacked (most likely without ANY real justification) he is retailiating with the silent treatment. The big key is the way he is able to communicate with others on trivial matters. Bet you he spends a great deal of time talking about self (his main interest). This indicates a form of narcissistic behavior designed to get even with any one he FEELS (again without real cause) has not allowed him to be so selfish and superficial. It won't get better, as you represent maturity. The ability to discuss, decide and compromise in order to function as a couple. He is giving you the daily cold shoulder, as if there is one thing I know about immature and self centered men, making adult decisions or dealing with adult problems is WORSE than going to the dentist. That is why his mouth is clamped shut, PLUS it is a denial of your existance and the issues he doesn't WANT to deal with.
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drop kick the asshole.I bet he would start talking to you then. And that is sad in itself.Be good to yourself and take care of you first. There are wonderful men out there that would probily give anything to have a kind woman like yourself. Dont waste another minute of your life trying to change him.
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A lot of men use this response because intimacy brings up a lot of fear for them. Just as with women, they have a lot of wounds associated with intimacy from childhood. Theirs are often different, since stereotypically women associate traumas with the infidelities of their fathers and the jealousy of their mothers and men tend to associate them with the emotional dependency of their mothers and the humiliation at the hands of their fathers. It's a yin-yang of dysfunctionality that continues into the next generation if you don't prevent it. Some men can sustain intimacy long enough to get through courtship, but then during the day to day it breaks down and their old habits of avoiding intimacy with their family take over. I think you should leave him and get counseling so that the next time you are ready for a relationship you don't make the same choice based on your receptivity to emotionally disabled men.
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