what your asking is should you lie or tell the truth? I think the answer there is clear..

What SHOULD you do? Tell the partner, what would I do? Keep it to myself.

NO!!! Why would you? Unless there is some sort of chance that your partner could find out, and that chance is high (over 50%), keep it to yourself. If you care for or love your partner, and actually want the relationship, why would you risk it by telling them, unless a part of you wants it to end? And why would you hurt them like that? It's not the cheating, but the finding out that hurts. If anything, cheating and not telling can strengthen a relationship, as you realize how easily it could all end if you "fess up", and, in reaction, work harder to make it work and remain faithful in the future. Only people who are selfish enough to want to relieve themselves of guilt or somehow "do the right thing" more than protect their partner from being hurt spill their guts. Either that, or they actually want (consciously or subconsciously) to end the relationship, and this is a way out. Remember, what makes something right or wrong is if someone gets hurt, not some silly cliche like "honesty is the best policy".

tell the other person. but i dont believe in cheating as a mistake. if you truely love and care about the person you are with then there is no reason to cheat. calling it a mistake is just an excuse. i would break it off right then and there.

What mistake? Ooops, I tripped and fell into this other person and accidently cheated? Of course they should tell them, there's no mistake, it's their own fault for ruining their relationship. Keeping it to themselves is just damn cold.

How could someone call cheating a huge mistake...its like saying it was an accident. "Honey, I'm sorry it was an accident, I was just walking along and I tripped and my penis fell in to her vagina." As far as ruining the relationship goes-congratulations, this person has already done that. Once trust is gone there ain't no getting it back. Whether you tell your partner or not, truth will out. Guilt manifests itself in ways that are just as bad if not worse than the cheating.

Let me give you a piece of advice, speaking from experience: Tell your partner, apologize for your actions, and free yourself from the oncoming mental prison of guilt, distrust, and shame. You've already tainted the relationship. Even if you don't tell her/him, it will never be the same, because now you have the experience of cheating on him/her in your mind, adding another filter to your perception of your partner. You don't truly love them if you cheated on them, and that's the bottom line. There are nicer ways to find out and express it, but if this is how it had to happen, so be it. But, keep in mind that we can CHANGE, and you have your whole life ahead of you to find someone who you do love, who you won't cheat on, and who you can trust.

Tell them you cheated, I'm sorry, I'd like to stay and work it out, your call. It wasn't a mistake, it was a cheat. You cheated, face up to it and move on. Stay with them if you want to; make sure it's for the right reasons. You don't think you're capable of cheating again?

"Truely a HUGE MISTAKE" for cheating, that doesnt exist. And yes I would tell my partner even if it does ruin the relationship.

Time to fess up because the relationship is already ruined. This was also no mistake. To cheat is a purposfull action. Time to face the music and tell them what you did to them. It's only fair to since they need to know what kind of person you are to know if they want to waste more time in a relationship with you.

A relationship needs to be based on honesty, IMO. I think it's form of lying NOT to tell the partner. He or she has the right to know.

No point hurting your partner further --- keep your mouth shut. Trust me on that one....... And just be your normal self and maybe just a tad more affectionate. Don't do it again, of course, if you do want to keep this relationship. If you will fall into the habit of doing it and not telling, you two will disintegrate sooner than later.

Lets get around the bullshit in your question. "Truly a huge mistake." The fact is you don't belong with this person for a number of reasons. A: If you did, cheating would never have even been a consideration, nor would you have placed yourself in a situation that would have allowed it to happen. B: Your partner didnt do anything to deserve neither getting cheated on nor having it kept from them. C: You're obviously not ready for a monogamous relationship. Which is fine, but you shouldn't be wasting your time or your partners.

i was set up, i have been seeing this girl and i loved her loads i wanted to marry her, but her brothers did not approve of me, being an asian pakistani makes things extremelt difficult, i was at work and this girl threw her self at me. she was sent by my partners brother,to test me out, i knew from the begining that this is a complete set up and no girl would do that. then i got found out obviously i didnt have sex with her, it was never my intention to do so, and i didnt, before this she took me to a bar and behind my back she took pictures of me after i had been spiked. im really hurt and devastated by all this and i think this was really unfair because i am not a cheat but to an extent i was made one.

If you tell them it will have a huge impact on the relationship, and they will never recover the trust they currently have. If you don't tell them, the lie will always be there between you, and will also have huge impact on the relationship. This is why you should never cheat on your partner.

You need to suck it up and live with the guilt. If your partner does it to you, that's fine because you owe him/her one, don't you? :(

Keep it to yourself, trust me on that.

I have cheated on my boyfriend. We have only been dating for two months. But he still has strong feelings for me way too soon. I know that I love who he is as a person but I'm not IN love with him. I was feeling a little weird about the relationship because so much was dropped on me so soon (L BOMB) so I went out with some friends and my ex just so happened to be with us and its cool me and him are friends. Well needless to say I was careless and let myself drink wayyyy too much and couldnt drive home. The ex was there to drive me to his house because thats the only place he was going. I fell asleep early because we were all watching a movie before bed and I was so tired. And when I woke up he was touching me and everything and when I get that drunk I dont know any better. So I ended up sleeping with him and afterwards I just stayed up all night because I was contemplating on if I should tell or what do I do???? I cannot believe I allowed myself to be that trashed to the point that I did that. I feel so guilty but I am still a little uneasy about me and his relationship that I dont know if I want to tell him and be done or dont tell him and see how I feel....I havent told him. Its been a few days since that happened. I guess thats my answer.

i think you should tell your partner before someone else tells them

live with your so called mistake and move on ,eventually youll blab cause you just gotta. you must have wanted more that you dont feel you are getting and since you couldnt be nice and ask for it at home , then sleep on the bed you made because you'll only be living a lie now.or youll never be trusted again and i cant say id blame them for not trusting you to be whats the word FAITHFUL

Anon, didn't we already cover this...is this the Anon that was drunk and "didn't know what she is doing?" Keep it to yourself....the only person you are thinking about is you and your guilt. Live with your guilt and let your mate feel happy and safe in a fallacy of a relationship with someone who doesn't care all that much about them. Eventually you'll do it again and he'll find out and you'll be free. Sorry so smarmy and nasty, but, it is what it is....

How can you call it a serious relationship when someone is cheating??? Cheating is serious regardless when you use the term "in a relationship" with a boyfriend/girlfriend or significant other. The truth will set you free...

If you have a good relationship, I think your ought to try to work it out - ie tell. It won't be pretty, but a relationship in which each person has "secrets" is highly destructive. It may be that the relationship can't tolerate such a blow, but if you don't say something, you are pretending to have an openness you don't really have. That hurts worse, in my opinion.

yes i think they should it will eat them up inside for life carrying the guilt