Mother-in-law: Why don't you leave the baby with me to look after while you're at work?
Mother: I'm afraid the baby will get too attached to you....
I don't get it why can't some mothers get past themselves and do what's right for the baby?
by 
Highlander is semi-retired from AB
ANSWERS: 6
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There's nothing wrong with the baby being socialized with both the mother and the mother-in-law (who I assume is the baby's grandmother). It would be more beneficial for the child to be introduced to more than just the mother. It sounds like the mother is acting in a jealous manner.
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So that leaves me to wonder, where is the baby while the mother is at work? Daycare? I would rather have my baby attached to it's grandmother than to the care giver at the daycare center. Regardless of whether or not you care for the mother-in-law, it's always better than strangers. That is of course unless the mother-in-law is a smoker (in the house), drinker, abuser, or has some other habit that may cause harm to the baby. I don't understand this type of thinking either. I think it's basically what you stated in your question. Fear. Also a form of control, which is usually based in fear.
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She's more concerned with how she's MIGHT feel if the child is well taken care of and might get attached to the grandmother. Well why doesn't she just put the child in a daycare then, and see how THAT works out for her? She's trying to evade going back to work, and she's being an extremely overprotective mother. And jealous too. she's going to wreck that child's life if she continues to act like that. Is she going to send away friends she thinks are getting too close too? *Rolls eyes at the mother*. It's a little too crazy for me. Mommy's the onyly one that person can have in their life? *sigh* Poor kid.
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It's possible that the mother of the child thinks that the baby being in day care will be better for the child in the long run with better development of social skills and educational levels. I was presented with a similar argument 30 years ago when I went back to work and had a small child. I wanted to find an individual grandmotherly type to look after my child and was told I was being selfish to not think of my baby's future development, that he needed to be around other children for social development, etc. It might be a case of the baby's mama being "damned if you do and damned if you don't".
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And I don't get why certain family members assume they know what's best for mother and baby, when they are neither.
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