I was taught that it was a sin to look at a women and have feelings so they do hijab.But now after I left it. When ever I speak to a women or a friend I just can't undo it. I am so distracted to her face and body and subconsciously told that it is a SIN. Imagine me at the beach! I just can't stand it. I am suffocating with any girl. It's like hell for me unless I put all my focus and try to know her. Or if she's my class mate. I even hesitate to hook up with my female friends and hold their hands as a friend. I can't even just look into their faces. Not that I am Sexually deviant. Or I have a High Sexual Drive. I have been made subconsciously believed that it is wrong. Wrong to even Shake your hands with a women. Or your female friends. It is wrong to look at their beauty and appreciate them. It is wrong to have a Best Female Friend. It is wrong to hook up with a female friend. I really have no sources. I don't want to suffer with this bullshit any more. I can tell my mind and understand it but can't Think like that Gentleman who Treats all man and women equally in a very Physical sense. Not about the rights but about how women and men should be treated. How do I eliminate this limited and primitive belief. Can you guys give me resources or anything that could help me. This not intended to hurt any religious belief. I am just stating for what happened with me and how I was conditioned. And I wanted to leave you with a fun fact. I wan't even aware of Atheism until I turned 16...