ANSWERS: 14
  • Well if you actually do look good from behind, then you can always assume the best possibility. But a woman who looks like, well...there's a country fair I go to sometimes, and you know that thing where pets and their owners start to look alike? LOL Well, there's these cow girls..and, that is they keep cows and show them at the fair..and they're rather large women! I'd even use the word "girth", and.... 'Scuse for a minute.. ROFL ROFL ROFL! ..lol..*Sigh* ..Okay, I feel better. What were we saying? Oh yea, I was burying myself deeper and deeper being denigrating to doorway-challenged farm girls..*blinkies* Yea.. No, but seriously I cant remember why I was talking about that! *has to look* OH! Yes, well, a farm girl told she looks good walking away would have to assume the man is a "fatty chaser" (and there are those) There's someone for everyone! Well..except Mr Pants :( :( All I got is the cat. :( Yea! You know, sometimes when I'm petting him, he goes "Geez, why don't you get a girlfriend for Pete's sake!" And I say ..."Wo! Did you just talk?" And he says "Did you just fart?" And I go "What does THAT mean?" And he wont tell me! *crosses arms* *taps foot* *blink* *blink blink blink* Uum.....Did I manage to answer your question?
    • Linda Joy
      Yes! (Adds fat women to 'women Mr. Pants doesn't like' list) lets see, now we have: Old women, fat women, Republican women, rich women, any woman not within the 3 day 'ripe fruit' period. And your self description is... old balding, financially challenged, no legs or 'lap', cat poops on your desk and runs away when you sing and frequently insults you. Did I get that right? Are you surprised you didn't have a woman? And at this point are you wondering why the cat even stays? Well, he's male... have you considered going gay? I'm not seeing a lot of opinions here! Other than editing this list. .. could you maybe readjust some of your expectations?
    • beaker95
      But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She was either going to be the death of me, or she was going to be the one who finally brought me back to life. Who is Pete, Mr. Pants?
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Oh my, Linda, you have been paying attention! (You honor me!) But I think I do also have some positive qualities one could list... I'm funny, thoughtful, compassionate, talented, poor, broken, tired and tired. (oops) (how'd those get in there) mm.Yea..I should probably add "compulsively honest" to the list too, eh? mm...
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      At least "dumb" isn't on my list of what constitutes an attractive woman (I've met guys who tell me the perfect woman has removable teeth, and is 4' tall with a flat head to rest your beer can on. ( :D !! ) (Oh hey I didnt say it. They did. it's very typical for a guy to want a woman to be mentally limited, so she wont outshine him,, and so she can be fooled :( So sad. ...But Mr Pants' thing is I figure in life, when it comes to mating, "been there, done that", don't want to trade away my freedom and what money I have for a few short bouts of sex (just enough to hook me, then I get no more *pouts* It's all a trick isnt it. Well...at least I'm up front about how ultimately undesirable I'd actually be under scrutiny. *shrug* *plays with Chinese finger puzzle* *gets stuck, can't pull hands apart* ... Help!
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      I dont know who Pete is. Must be Captain Meow's secret friend. There are those times when he wanders off and I don't know where he's been. Maybe HE's gay. No wait, I cut off his balls to please the landlord (I did!)(I'm a cruel cruel man. I told the cat "Come on, we're going to get some ice cream!" And he got all excited and got in the car, and well now he will never get excited again :| (And he didn't even get the ice cream!!) *hates self* *cries* *gets over it* *blink* *fart* (sorry)
    • beaker95
      You don't need balls to be gay.
    • Linda Joy
      Well, you're both top notch in my book! I like smart and funny. I've reached the age where I'd rather have a good conversation than sex anyway. Heck even when that was almost all I thought about after a marathon weekend even a healthy young vigorous male is spent and then (after he's fed) what's left but to talk? Good conversation is always a pleasure! Thank you both!
    • OC Joe
      You might initiate a relationship for the sex but you stay for the conversation that hopefully includes some clever and funny.
  • Definitely a compliment that most women choose to take as an insult. It means they like your physical shape. That's a compliment in a mans mind.
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Ah, a fellow ass man. LOL Do you have the vanity license plate too, like Kramer had?
    • beaker95
      It's a blip, not a catastrophe.
    • Anoname
      I am an "ass man". That's why I choose Mary-Ann over Ginger.
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Mary Ann rules! I have a collection of stills I saved from digital copies of the series. I discovered that in the 60's, since the technology wasn't good like now, they had no idea they were letting all kinds of "slips" get by the censoring process. *blink* Yea. Mr Pants is a sad lonely man... :|
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Plus there are facial expressions one can construe out of context, but...of course one would have to be a pervert to even notice such things. *blinks uncontrollably* ....I was actually surprised I didn't just find that work already done online somewhere. I mean MILLIONS of men graduated puberty thanks to sweet Mary Ann! So where are the pervy pics online? (Yea..I didnt post them either :| ) (OR graduate yet) ... still..workin on that. *blinks* ........... https://img1.etsystatic.com/180/1/9457715/il_340x270.1139197999_m4m9.jpg
    • Linda Joy
      Women don't spend all that time in the bathroom because they have to go! We know you like watching us walk away (as long as we come back) and other women always come with us because they want to be part of that memorable picture! Did Maryann have a better butt? I just liked her personality better. I remember a quote from the director that said he never got a moment's rest from the censors because of Ginger's tits and Maryann's belly button. I think they were only allowed to show it 3 times an episode!
    • Anoname
      THE CODE HAS BEEN CRACKED ! Women have always refused to explain why they go to the bathroom together. Now the truth is known !
    • Anoname
      Mary-Ann was wearing Daisy Dukes way before they were popular. There are episodes were butt cheek pops out.
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Maryann was better than Ginger because.....Ginger was superficial and self-important, and you knew being with her would be like being alone and having to make yourself peanut butter sandwiches and wear recycled clothes from the hamper, because she'd be off going "look at me! look at me!" in front of a camera. She had a low manipulative opinion of men. Maryann though...oh well! She was nice. She was pretty. She was kind. She was sweet (and she DID have nice body.) And she would make you a coconut cream pie! Or banana cream! Or a pineapple and fish pie) (..oh wait, that was the episode where Gilligan got hypnotized and thought HE was Maryann, and that fish and pineapple mess was something he cooked. *can still hear Mr Howell now* "If Gunger is Mahry Ahn...and Gulliguhn is Mahry ahn, who's Mahry Ahn?" (to which Lovey replies, "There there, Thurston, dont think about it too much, you'll give yourself a headache")
    • Linda Joy
      Lol I only just saw this is hilarious! Oh and I felt the same way about Ginger's personality. Yes, Anoname, now you know!
    • Linda Joy
      And knowing is half the battle right Anoname? I miss this!
  • Women are like shower faucets. You must treat them carefully, because if you do not, they will either freeze your balls or burn your ass.
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      LOL. *loves these* TEN REASONS A BEER IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN: 1. A frigid beer is a good beer. 2. A beer wont get jealous if you come home with another beer on your breath 3. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good (LOL!) 4. .... (((I Had this on a tee-shirt at some point. I didnt get any dates when I wore it though. *thinks* I don't know why!!! *still yanking at finger puzzle, but cant get hands apart (Yea, I'm typing this with my uh.....uh.....hmm (how do I get outta THIS?) Oh dear. *runs away*
    • Linda Joy
      If you're happier with a beer why are you still mourning the fact you don't have a woman? You have to push your fingers together to loosen the Chinese hand cuffs, dear!
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Because I cant drink beer anymore! *snif* (AA...sober & bored for 19 years now) *sigh* Oh those good old happy sloppy days...
  • Of course it's an insult. Just another way of saying "some people bring peace to this place, others when they leave".
    • Linda Joy
      You're in the minority on this one. Or were you talking about yourself?
  • 6-16-2017 Well, I always tell people that the first thing I notice about a woman depends on whether she's coming or going. But your version is quite easy to misinterpret.
    • Linda Joy
      Exactly!
  • 7-5-2017 That depends first on your gender.
    • Linda Joy
      I'm female! You didn't know? I thought you were a female for the first month I was here!
  • If you've got a nice ass, it's a compliment. If people don't enjoy being with you, it's an insult.
  • It depends on the person. If a man says that to a woman, he's likely to be called a misogynist pig.
  • depends on how they say it
  • I could mean they are glad to see me go.
  • Neither, they're just trying to mess with your insecurity.
  • It all depends on 1) who's telling you and 2) how they are telling you. LOL
  • probably a connplinnent, they couldve said worse stuff

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