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by Anonymous on July 15th, 2007

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Do you think there would be less divorce cases happening if couples were required to live together prior to marriage?

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  • by Highlander is semi-retired from AB on July 22nd, 2007

    Highlander is semi-retired from AB

    Yes, for fifty years. I'm sure that would cut the divorce rate a lot, but that's not the point of getting married in the first place.

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  • by Anonymous on July 22nd, 2007

    Anonymous

    No, research has shown that couples that lived together before marriage have a divorce rate that is 15% higher than couples that did not.

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  • by Hieronymus_Bosch on July 15th, 2007

    Hieronymus_Bosch

    No i don't. Like ehedges said most people live together prior to marriage nowadays anyway, i don't think that living together per se is the reason behind divorce. It's just that people find that they have irrevocable differences. This happens to unmarried couples living together as much as those who are married.

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  • by Nurse_Lizziebee dreaming ninja on July 15th, 2007

    Nurse_Lizziebee dreaming ninja

    in most cases no because a majority of people live together prior to marraige now anyway

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  • by anglrckx on July 22nd, 2007

    anglrckx

    divorce is a fact of life. living together is not going to affect that.

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  • by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on July 22nd, 2007

    SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING

    no i dont there is a higher divorce rate for people who have lived together before getting married, i should know
    i been there and done that.

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  • by AntigoneRising on July 15th, 2007

    AntigoneRising

    No. Cohabitation prior to marriage has not been shown to affect the divorce rate in many studies. In some studies, it is correlated with an increased risk of divorce. I'm not aware of any studies that demonstrate that cohabitation prior to marriage lowers divorce rates.

    Here is an interesting analysis:

    http://www.virginia.edu/topnews/textonlyarchive/February_1999/Economists.txt

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  • by Galeanda on July 15th, 2007

    Galeanda

    I don't think there would be less divorce if they lived together first. I think it is a fallacy that the reason people divorce is due to incompatibility. That isn't the reason people give and it isn't what I've seen of people's lives. It's not the reason people quit living with each other, either. The issues are much bigger than I just don't fit with your lifestyle. If you cant' tell during a courtship whether you get along with someone and whether you are willing to make your personal changes to make the relationship or marriage work,m then you just aren't trying very hard and aren't picking the right people to make a part of your life. I didn't need to live with my husband prior to marriage to know he was the one I was willing to do whatever to spend my life with, I didn't even need to have sex with him to know we would adapt and grow and learn together no matter what it took. When you are just living together the dynamics are very different then when two people have made the commitment to stay together and become one, a whole. Without that legal binding commitment it isn't a solid foundation to build a future on, you don't have it set in your mind, 'this is it. We are a team.' There is always a way out, no incentive to stick together and really work through problems that will arise. And they will come. Thinking that it is easier to break up from living together than if you get married is already thinking in a negative way, not thinking and planning forever. I couldn't do that.

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  • by jin jang on July 15th, 2007

    jin jang

    Living together is a good test to see if you are compatible.Often the couple is comfortable with this situation and find no need in the ceremony of marriage.

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  • by A on May 10th, 2008

    A

    No. I personally think there would be more divorce if such a thing became mandatory.

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  • by kidalbino on July 22nd, 2007

    kidalbino

    I read somewhere that living together prior to marriage actually upped the divorce rate. I don't know who did the study but that's what they said. Maybe the people in the relationship are trying to be on their best behavior during the "trial run" and then when it's for real they become themselves again.

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  • by Will on July 22nd, 2007

    Will

    No, but there would be less marriages.

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  • by iwnit on July 22nd, 2007

    iwnit

    1) You cannot require people to live together before marriage. Many of them will reject this because of personal, cultural or religious reasons.

    2) Statistics show that "couples that live together before marriage are more likely to divorce."
    "Couples who live together for less than
    eight years have a higher divorce rate than those who did not cohabitate. However, if the couple cohabitates
    for more than eight years, the divorce rate is the same as a couple who has never cohabitated."
    Source:
    http://www.ocdsb.edu.on.ca/Teacher_Res/secondary/tecint/student_files/brookfield1_divorce.pdf

    3) I think the reason of this is that people living together before marriage are already different from those who don't:
    - they reject the rigid traditional views about marriage, which make divorce very difficult because of moral pressure. So they consider the possibility of divorce easier.
    - they sometimes choosed the alternative of living together instead of marriage, not as a probe for a future marriage. Marriage happens for them after a time because of children or any other pressure, but they did not want it actually and divorce some time afterwards. Those people should probably stay further together without marrying

    4) a good divorce could be better than a bad marriage.
    The best would be, of course, a good marriage. But consider that many marriages are only good if you observe them from outside.
    And a good marriage should be good for both partners!

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  • by Subject Matter Expert on July 22nd, 2007

    Subject Matter Expert

    No, people still change so much once they say i do. I think every couple should have to do marriage therapy for 6 months.

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  • by Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here on July 22nd, 2007

    Zandalee.Lonely.Lunatic.3yrs-here

    I've known people who lived together 2-3 years unmarried without one problem. One couple got married and then got an annulment after 4 months and seperated. Another couple, after living together 3 years got married and got a divorce about eight months later, they were at each others' throats. My mom tells me she knew a couple who lived together 15 years, got married, and seperated a little more than six months later. Once this couple were divorced, they resumed living together.


    On the other side of the coin, I know a couple who got married the same week they met. They are still married, it has been six years.

    So, no I think the chances of staying married, happily, depend on how hard both people are willing to work on it, and how much they both devote time to each others' needs. I know from experience that, it must be both who put in the effort or the time, energy, and effort are all useless and futile.

    I also think that the concept of the word "marriage" has become a very disturbing, mind-altering problem for some. Just the thought that you are legally tied to someone for what is supposed to be "forever" can be so daunting in process.

    You can love and commit to someone fully.... but actual marriage can freak you out to the point of turning on the one who you are tied to.
    Like two cats with thier tails tied together.

    So, knowing someone twenty years or two hours before you get married, living together or not, you still have the same shot.... it will or it wont.... a 50-50 shot.

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  • by Patti jo on July 22nd, 2007

    Patti jo

    I tried that, and thank goodness we didn't marry - That would have been a really bad mistake - I think either way the divorce rate will climb no matter what , sadly

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  • by still loves cheerios on July 15th, 2007

    still loves cheerios

    Yup, they probably wont get married if they did

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  • by Catherine on July 11th, 2008

    Catherine

    No way..I don't believe that..

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  • by Clancy on May 11th, 2008

    Clancy

    Perhaps. A lot of things don't creep up until later on in marriage. You still are in the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship when you live w/ someone. It is like playing house and all. I just think if people waited to marry when they had their lives figured out...job going in the right direction, dated well before, grew up emotionally, moved around some and see the world and then settled down. Also, just because you LOVE someone doesn't mean you HAVE TO get married to them...a lot of people do so because of that. There is a different kind of love beyond infatuation and newness that is so strong and real and unlike anything you have ever felt and fewer really experience this...if you have, you know what I mean.

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  • by Sosueme on May 10th, 2008

    Sosueme

    No, I lived with my ex wife for 17 years (married) and we got divorced. I don't think time prior to marriage would have mattered.

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