Why would someone only want to date you if its on "their terms" - is this a control thing, subconsious issue or something else?
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WHITE BEAR
ANSWERS: 3
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It could be all 3. Probably control. They probably have been hurt before and want to keep you at bay. Or they could be with someone else, and only want to go certain places, and do certain things, so the other person doesn't see them.
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Dump that person like a hot potato. If they only want to date on "their terms", then they would only want a relationship on "their terms". Life with that person would be hell.
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Healthy boundaries are a GOOD THING to have no matter what level a relationship is in...dating or marriage. Of course there are different ways of saying what your boundaries ARE...you can be controlling about it, bitchy, manipulative...or you can be more matter of fact, more kindly relayed. Such as...I like you a lot and I would like to continue seeing you, but I'm dealing with some issues right now that require me to avoid working on a more serious relationship. I need to be not committed right now. I'm not being sexual with anyone at this time and I want to keep it that way for now. If you can respect this, and not take it personally, then I would really enjoy seeing you, I like your company. OR You're a nice guy and all that, but I need to be loose, free, know what I mean? I don't want you calling me more than twice a week, I'll call you if I want to get together and if you can't make time for me then it's your loss! Both ways do set boundaries...but one offers some sort of reasonable explanation, the other is an egotistical slap across the face.
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