I told him to wait until after college to move out, she's talking him into living together in their own apartment. What should I do? He turns 18 in a month.

Why do you call her a tramp? Could they not be just two young people in love? Three years hardly makes her a child molester.

Eevn if you dont like his g/f, you should keep your opinons to yourself and be supportive of his decisions. Make sure he knows if it all goes horribly wrong he can home at any time. I wish my mum had done that when I met my b/f (who is now my ex- mums are always right!)

I think it's really nice that his grandma loves and respects him enough to accept his right to make his own choices. She has offered them a home in which they can live and love and learn about each other and their relationship without negativity and judgement being placed upon them. In doing so she remains in close contact with him, interacts with and gets to know his chosen partner and is there for him if her support, understanding or guidance is needed. I believe she is handling her relationship with your son in a wise and functional manner and if you could do the same i'm sure you would find yourself much closer to your son than you are now.

The fact that you call her a tramp here may be why he is turning against you. He loves her and you either have to accept that even if you don't like her or accept that you are no longer the most important woman in his life and move on. Let me give you two examples of how this could play out based on my experience. My stepfather did not approve of my former girlfriend and rolled his eyes when I said we were getting married but he accepted my right to make my own decisions and now, years later, he loves her like his own daughter. (Actually better, but that is a story in and of itself.) My mother-in-law didn't approve of me taking a couple of months of of work and making my wife take care of me. She totally ignored that I had a severe knee injury and was unable to work until I had recuperated at least enough to be able to stand up. Until then my wife had been close to her mother but this forced my wife to choose sides. My wife chose me over her and things have been strained between the three of us ever since because her mother can't tolerate not being the most important person in my wife's life. Of course that may just be because she had Borderline Personality Disorder and HAS to be the center of attention.... I will allow for the possibility that the girl you are calling a tramp may legitimately be turning your son against you, but without knowing the situation I must point out the possibility that it may just be that the conflict between you and her is what is driving a wedge between you.

It's probably your obvious disdain for his girlfriend that's turning him against you. He's growing up, he needs to experience life on his own. Even if his moving in with this girl is a mistake, you can't protect him from everything forever. He's an adult now. He's asserting his independence. I know it's hard when a child grows up and leaves home, but if you give him SUPPORT instead of fighting with him about it your relationship will be stronger in the long run. He doesn't need you hovering over him, correcting his every mistake. Give him a break. You never know, your worries could turn out to be completely unfounded!

It is lack of respect to do this in your house. Did his Grandma let this happen with you and your son's father - I doubt it. I support you in this 100%. Stick to your guns in relation to your home but here is another angle that may help - let them go, let them do what they want, push him toward her. The more he sees her the more he will learn about her and the rose coloured goggles will eventually slip off. And in the meantime hope that they are, at the very least protected.