Ive been w/my bf for a year now.I lost my virginity to him. I recently got intoxicated & blackout drunk at a company party & woke up with one of my co-workers on top of me. I think there was sex. should I tell my BF? I love him and dont want to hurt him.
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 18
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If you think he will understand tell him.
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I think that I'd worry more about STD's & that you where not in your right mind to consent. Yes, I believe if you didnt consent then it's rape & you may want the support of your bf. Especially if this co-worker new you where taken & took advantage. Shame on him. . seek advise from a crisis center they may have better advice for you on this matter.
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You already did hurt him when you got wasted and messed with someone else. Not telling him constitutes lying. You need to take responsibility for your actions. If you lose him, that's the risk you took when you got drunk and fooled around.
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sweetie did you wake up as he was finishing the deed or was there a few minutes between the time yoiu woke up and the act was over this makes the difference between whether or not you cheated on your boyfriend or you were a rape victim if there was more than just a couple of seconds that passed between the time you woke up to find him on you and the time he completed the act then you cheated and should tell your b/f even if it means losing him he deserves to know if however you just woke as this guy was finishinghis business or there wasn't more than a few seconds between you waking up and him being finished I think you need to file rape charges against your co worker
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you have to tell him =/.
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you should tell him what happened. relationships are built on trust.you didnt mean to have sex and who knows if you did.they prob dont actually know either if they were drunk too.ive had almost the same exact thing happen if youd like me to tell you and talk with you just go to my profile.
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Being a mom, if you were my daughter, this question would really scare me. You need to tell him, yes, but that's not even the half of it. You put yourself in incredible danger. Just because you work with people, it doesn't mean you know them. What kind of person was this that took advantage of you like this? That's another can of worms right there. You need to get tested for STD's. and you need to get smarter about your own safety. I hope everything turns out all right for you, but I really hope you learned a valuable lesson without having to pay for it with some serious consequences.
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wow. I feel your pain. I know how a blackout is and how you don't remember ANYTHING. It's scary but my rule is to always have someone taking care of me. It's our fault b/c we get ourselves like that. TELL HIM THE TRUTH. The response might not be what you want. He might leave you or he might be angry and still forgive you. This is real hard. I feel your pain. Luck.
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Your choice to get intoxicated so yes that will hurt him but you need to let him know. - As for your co-worker that is rape and files should be charged against him. - This is why I worry so much about my girlfriend going to parties I know some guys do get girls waisted just so they can do this. Personally I would love to be near those guys and have a bat in my hand to teach them a lesson.
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When you woke up with the co-worker on top of you, did you start screaming or yelling or something? I'd tell your boyfriend. You let yourself get black out drunk, which caused the problem. You've already hurt yourself doing that...might as well hurt him too.
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When you woke up with the co-worker on top of you, did you start screaming or yelling or something? I'd tell your boyfriend. You let yourself get black out drunk, which caused the problem. You've already hurt yourself doing that...might as well hurt him too.
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Number 1, were you raped or did you put yourself "out there" before the black-out? Number 2, you MUST be checked for STD's, because he may not have been the only one on top of you! Number 3, if you did kinda put yourself out-there, then you should own up to it. And, number 4, you may need to look into getting help for your alcohol problem. Black-out binges are VERY serious, and you could end up "getting hurt" or "hurting someone else". Please, be honest.
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Are you sure there was sex? Just 'thinking' sex was had is not a definite yes. Get your facts together. Eventually it would come out and your boyfriend will get to know. That will hurt him even more. You should tell him and file a report on this co-worker. Not filing a report and allowing him to get away with rape would give him the confidence to try it again to others and maybe you.
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Different people react differently to alcohol, some people black out big chunks of the evening even though they are not falling over drunk...If your the sort of person who frequently forgets things but can still stand and talk straight then it is possible that you flirted with the co-worker and consented to sex without remembering it. Ask friends how you were behaving at the party before you left with this guy and think about what you are usually like when your drunk. Think carefully before you file a rape charge, it's very serious accusation to make considering the fact that you don't seem to remember. Only you know whether or not you think it was rape. The fact that your posting under the heading intoxicated cheating indicates otherwise. I think the most important thing to think about is how to not let yourself get in such a dangerous position again. You should definatly tell your boyfriend.
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If you don't want to hurt him then don't tell him. Speak to your co-worker about what you think may have gone on, and then go and get checked for any STD's before having sex with your boyfriend again. Some things are best kept in the dark and if you have no memory of what happened then don't ruin your relationship with your boyfriend, you'll be more upset and hurt seeing him upset an hurt.
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You said you think there was sex, you cant tell? Lets say you cant, why would you tell your boyfriend, if you arent sure that you did, you are just causing drama. That is like saying, I might have gotten high, I dont know, should I tell my parents?
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Tell him you are a drunken slut, he will understand, I have a feeling he already knows.
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you may as well tell your bf now, it will come out eventually and it will just eat you up inside. If he leaves you than it just wasnt ment to be... if he doesnt its love. and from now on i hope you control your alcohol consumption.. at least when he's not around. did you talk to your coworker, was he as drunk as u? what happened when you woke up?
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