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by Ruby21103 on June 19th, 2007

Ruby21103

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My mother-in-law got mad because I painted my 4 yr.old son's toenails.She says he will "grow up gay". I don't think there's anything wrong w/ homosexuality.What's her problem, and what do you think about this?

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Answers. 43 helpful answers below.

  • by Mentalmum is back on June 19th, 2007

    Mentalmum is back

    For goodness sake what next!! tell your m-in-law to get a grip!! What a load of crap, my 4 year old son runs around with a pink handbag crammed full with cars - so what! kids love to play and act things out, your wee boy is normal wanting his toenails painted, he might even want to play with your makeup/lipstick, hell let him enjoy himself and tell the old bag to get lost!!! Im sure if she casts her mind back her son done much the same kind of things at that age too!
    PS. Hope you painted them bright pink LOL let me know!

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  • by LadyLuck on June 19th, 2007

    LadyLuck

    I was under the impression that one is born gay, not that they grow up and decide one day that it's a good idea. And if he is gay, so what? You absolutely have the right mentality about it.

    He probably loved having his toes painted - nice touch on making them blue!

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  • by Mrs.Dufresne on June 19th, 2007

    Mrs.Dufresne

    If your son himself actually wanted them painted, then I think that's cool and she should mind her own business.

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  • by Shelby on June 19th, 2007

    Shelby

    Paint away! You can't "make" someone gay. Your son probably thinks it's fun having colourful toes. That makes him a kid...not a homosexual.

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  • by sweetfrench on June 19th, 2007

    sweetfrench

    1. what you do with your son is none of her business
    2. You are born gay ... you never become gay
    3. 4 years old don't care, he probably found it funny to see his nails change colour
    4. like you said ... what's wrong with being gay?

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  • by Eltinwe has a life Swan - DYOH on June 19th, 2007

    Eltinwe has a life Swan - DYOH

    My sisters-in-law painted my husband's toes AND put makeup on him when he was about that age, and he wasn't damaged by it. Personally, I don't let my daughter paint her toes at all, but that's because it weakens the nails, and she needs all the toenail protection she can get! And I just bought her a construction vehicle t-shirt and a dinosaur t-shirt yesterday because she liked them. I think sticking to gender norms is over-rated. Your mil's problem is that she believes in gender norms, and is uncomfortable with anything outside the typical expectations.

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  • by holdmysuit on June 19th, 2007

    holdmysuit

    of all the things for her to piss and moan about she chooses painted toe nails? Sounds like someone needs to get a hobby.

    I used to paint my nails and i'm straight. Painting your nails has nothing to do with sexuality.

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  • by OrsoChicago on June 19th, 2007

    OrsoChicago

    Thank you for your endorsement. Many of us think that there is nothing wrong with hetrosexual people, too. *wink* Little kids are attracted to bright colors -- look at their toys. Many kids like clowns as well, plus at every fair there are face painters who decorate the faces of both the girls and the boys. No one finds a corelation between face painting at the county fair and homosexuality. Kids get the idea of pretend and dress up while some overprotective mother-in-laws have appear to have forgotten it.

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  • by Firebrand on June 19th, 2007

    Firebrand

    Does it really matter what she says or thinks for that matter.

    If a little boy is happy with his toes painted there is no problem . It will make no difference to his sexuality.

    My brother used to cry to have ribbons in his hair (he was the only boy with four girls)

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  • by Jodie44 on June 19th, 2007

    Jodie44

    All I can add here is >> if something minor - like painting a kid's toenails - determined sexual preference, we surely would've heard about it by now.

    Sounds like your MIL's problem is that she's bought into a cultural stereotype that's been around for ages. I think it's ridiculous.

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  • by zee-ster on June 19th, 2007

    zee-ster

    her problem: homophobia. i think that's a stupid phobia for people to have, but one i can't rid the world of.

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  • by Jeffers on June 19th, 2007

    Jeffers

    bah - she needs to mind her own business...

    If I was around when she was doing her mani-My gramma painted my toes all the time when I was under 5 (she died when I was 9) -

    I sing with the Gay Mens Chorus of Los Angeles - between 180 - 225 members in any given season - I'm the only gay man I know who paints his toenails....

    But I know at least three straight guys who do...

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  • by Rince on June 19th, 2007

    Rince

    I think you are right, I think hes your son not hers and she should butt out. I also think thats mother-in-laws for you, they know best, she must have mentioned it ? :-)

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  • by unknown on June 20th, 2007

    unknown

    If painting toe nails makes someone gay then wouldn't the reverse also be true? Wouldn't not painting toe nails make girls gay? Or, wouldn't all boys who never had their toe nails be straight? I'm just pointing out the illogicalness of you mother-in-law's argument. I hope she gets over it.

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  • by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on June 19th, 2007

    P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines

    She's a raging homophobe and a nosey know-it-all who needs to be told to mind her place with how you decide to raise your son. And I have no problem with boys experimenting with mom's make-up. It won't make them gay, they get a kick out of it for all the cool colors and th eeffects they can get with it. Plus I think it gives them an appreciation for what women go tthrough to fit into socities norms for what's beautifull.

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  • by Rickster is victorious on June 19th, 2007

    Rickster is victorious

    Homophobic comment that is totally unjust!
    <Rickster cringes>
    Take a deep breath - in-law relationships can be very tricky - anxiety and ill feelings can run very high. I recommend you discuss with your spouse and have him get your angst and plan between you a response that you agree on and show a united front. If you approach on your own you run the risk of alienating your spouse. :)

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  • by MrWitch on June 19th, 2007

    MrWitch

    Nothing to add to Shelby's answer, as to 'what do I think'. Sounds like her problem is that she wants vicarious influence over the raising of your son. Some grandparents can try to use the 'I'm older and have done this before so I know best' issue to attain this. Could be all sorts of complex emotional stuff bound up in a reason for her actions.

    It shouldn't be discounted that this may be what she was brought up to believe. Society's attitude to homosexuality has moved hugely in the last 50 years or so. She may not have moved with it.

    I don't wish to sound insulting or coarse but is she menopausal? This could have a bearing.... If she's 'on the change' all kinds of wierd emotional stuff can start popping out. Does she have mood swings for example? In addition, how a woman feels about reaching the menopause can have an impact on the experience, so if she resents it she may be trying without knowing it to 'recapture her youth' as a raiser of children.

    Whatever the answers/reasons for her statement, her nose is where it's not wanted or needed. But you already know this!

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  • by buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind on December 18th, 2007

    buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind

    piss her right off and paint them black and say he's not gay but a goth!!! that should be great for a laugh as her eyes roll back in the stupid cows head ....silly bitch what a thing to say, give her a gay pride flag and tell her to get over it and bloody grow up

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  • by sage on June 19th, 2007

    sage

    have fun with your son, gay has nothing to do with it, but if his playmates sees this,well you know how kids can be

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  • by allalonetonight on November 15th, 2007

    allalonetonight

    The first thing that popped in my head when I read that was "Everybody loves Raymond". You seem to have the same problem with the nosey mother-in-law trying to tell you how to raise your kids.

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  • by ADIMADMOM on November 15th, 2007

    ADIMADMOM

    How ridiculous! I bet you guys had a blast. What he got out of it was a good time with mom. What could be better or healthier than that?!

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  • by emmy18 on December 17th, 2007

    emmy18

    My bf said the same thing to me when I let his three year old son wear my heals (his four year old daughter had just done it... I wasn't about to say no). So I aksed my grandmother, who is a psychologist what she thought. She told me that at that age it had nothing to do with anything.

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  • by kazzzy on November 15th, 2007

    kazzzy

    Mother-in-law needs to chill.

    Reminds me of the day I asked my sister what color was that nail polish she was wearing because I really liked it. She said, just a minute let me go ask Anthony, I borrowed it from him! My nephew wore nail polish and had more hair products than I ever did, but he is not gay; lots of his teenage male friends were just very comfortable expressing themselves and polish was just one way.

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  • by Mushen on November 15th, 2007

    Mushen

    she's just a senile old bat - next time she sees him give her something to really freak out about - make sure you he's wearing a dress - preferably a pink one. If you're really lucky, the shock of it may just be enough to finish her off.

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  • by Stillme FBB on November 15th, 2007

    Stillme FBB

    She's ignorant!

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  • by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on November 15th, 2007

    DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

    I thought childhood was all about fun!! What is wrong with painting your toenails if you're 4 or 104? Homosexuality isn't caused by toenail paint...trust me. I was born gay...I didn't need the make-over.

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  • by Sketchy Mess Jeoffory on November 15th, 2007

    Sketchy Mess Jeoffory

    Well, it definitely isn't going to make your son gay. Your mother in law is dead wrong there.

    The question still remains- why paint your son's toenails?

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  • by Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy on August 5th, 2009

    Penal Colony is wicked marrying Andy

    She's being completely ignorant. It's extremely unlikely that something like that will "turn you" gay. And even if it did, what business is that of hers?

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  • by Jadey - Vive la difference on August 4th, 2009

    Jadey - Vive la difference

    Of course, you are right. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality, and as you know painting a 4 year old's toe nails will not make him gay. To think there is a correlation between painting toe nails and 'becoming' (or indeed, being) gay is entirely laughable. I suppose she assumes that men who paint their nails as adults (seems something of a trend amongst the alternative fashion group) are also gay.

    Unfortunately, it is unlikely that you will be able to change her mind on this issue, it seems she is stuck in her ignorant ways. It has been a while since you asked this question, how is she on issues of this type now? Did this turn out to be a one off spat?

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  • by harlekkin on August 4th, 2009

    harlekkin

    Kids have no concept of what is gay or straight, only adults do. Children won't say "damn, I got my fingernails painted so therefore I will just have to be gay - thanks MOM!!! Really great!".

    No matter how rough or soft you raise someone, you can't foresee what they will grow up to be. Tell her to relax and get a manicure!

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  • by thatsJustme on July 4th, 2009

    thatsJustme

    what is your husbands problem? my mother in law would not of had to say a word.....my husband would have....are u trying to raise a little 'man' or what? well, honey...MEN do not paint their nails....she does not have a problem ....YOU DO>>>

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  • by sueshi4me on May 1st, 2009

    sueshi4me

    well i think your mom-in-law is just being traditional. it may be because she's a little older and grew up in a time when gays were discriminated.

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  • by Justine on April 28th, 2009

    Justine

    If he's gay, he's gay. Painting his toenails won't make him one way or the other.

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  • by redcatt63 is around here somewhere...... on November 15th, 2007

    redcatt63 is around here somewhere......

    sorry, your mother-in-law sounds pretty ignorant if she believes in such lame stereotypes. You were having fun with your son! nothing will "make" someone gay. they either are, or they aren't. it's not a choice, it's genetic. there is nothing that will "influence" a child's orientation.

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  • by EmptyWallet on July 4th, 2009

    EmptyWallet

    I think you're acting a bit strange. Why would you want to do this? What benefit is it to you?

    Weird!

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  • by duckiesRcool on July 20th, 2010

    duckiesRcool

    O_o People are born homosexual, not influenced to become homosexual. How random.. thinking that painted toenails or playing with certain toys is only for a certain gender to have or play with is sexist and stereotypical. I guess she's just very "old fashioned" in that sense and can't accept some parts of reality. Just ignore what she says and let your son play with what he wants to :)

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  • by Bjones on July 4th, 2009

    Bjones

    Im not all that comfortable with homosexuals my self, nor do i condone their lifestyle, HOWEVER, this is just plain ignorant, painting tonails has nothing to do with ones sexuality at all. Id call that mother-in-law a real homophobe. (i dont use that term lightly).

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  • by lizzie4MM on January 6th, 2011

    lizzie4MM

    lol me and my brother were fuckin around and decided we were ganna put pink polish on his toes mom was so pissed its really annoying cause david really is super straight.
    well he's your kid not hers tell her to back the fuck off.
    people get really weird about these kind of things because their ignorant, theres nothing wrong with homos and anyway you cant just turn a kid gay.
    if my parents could influence me because of the way they dressed me when i was little than i wouldnt be bi, ugh they dressed me in horrible shit.

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  • by Jade on August 4th, 2009

    Jade

    Her problem is that she wants to have a little too much control and I think she should mind her own business. Painted nails have nothing at all to do with homosexuality.

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  • by Anonymous on May 26th, 2010

    Anonymous

    Older generation look upon homosexuality as sin and wrong. But I would not guide your son down that path which it seem like you are doing. Let him decide to be straight or gay.

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  • by roiboysatx on August 5th, 2009

    roiboysatx

    your mother in law should keep her opinion to herself. thats rediculas to suggest that about a 4 year old little boy. he probably sees his mommie doing that and is just cruious. thats just a normal part of growing up.

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  • by Merriment on August 4th, 2009

    Merriment

    I think I would ignore her.

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  • by Don Gorgeous George on July 4th, 2009

    Don Gorgeous George

    She's just old school. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual as long as that's truly how you want to live your life.

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