You have to call it off. If you feel this way then you have no business going through with it. Believe me it will hurt to do it; but, that is nothing compared to what it will be like if you go through with it.

how long have you felt this way? just in the days leading up to your wedding, or as you look back, can you see this behavior all through your relationship? do you understand within yourself why you can see it now, but you couldn't see it then? don't discount that the days before a large event are stressful on all, but if you are seeing something clearly that was always there but you couldn't see before, then...you know what to do. better to return the shower gifts than face forever feeling like you want to hit your life partner.

You need to talk to someone wise right away - other than US. Because you are going to have to act quickly, you need to turn off the computer and get with this older, wiser, compassionate, and objective person NOW. If you can't think of anyone else, call the pastor who is performing the ceremony and hopefully did premarital counseling with you. Whatever you do, don't let him/her be the last to find out. Go!

If you feel this way before you get married, you'll still feel this way afterwards....and then you're stuck. Marriage doesn't cure all...in fact, sometimes it was the only barrier holding back the flood. Think wisely.

you need to talk with someone and also talk with your fiance. it will only get worse and you will regret it later. better to do this now than later.

Do something now! Call a friend, pastor, therapist, someone. If you are having feelings of violence, this could grow into a dangerous situation for everyone. Not to pry, but please tell me that there are no children involved.

Nicola- I was once engaged and broke it off before a date had been set. My friends, family, everyone was majorly pissed at me. One buddy stood by me and said, "Whatever is right for you - better now than before walking down the aisle." I'll never forget what he said. Others came around after getting over it. I'm so glad I had the courage to be honest with myself, my fiance, friends and family. I would find someone locally who you can trust in your life to share your feelings with, who may be able to support you after you cancel the wedding. Also, just share how you feel. No one can argue with the discomfort (and even anger ) you are feeling. You have to be strong with major decisions in life. And remember Nicola, an engagement is just that, "engaging in the question of being married". This is a victory really. You engaged and found your answer. The planning, the cost, the invalidation you may have to go through is secondary to your doing your job and figuring out first, who is not right (or right) for you. I also have a feeling that the universe (I'm Buddhist) will respond favorably to your staying out of an unhealthy situation/marriage. Move onward Nicola. You have my support and that of seasoned AB members, such as anglrckx , tom, idne and probably many others. E-mail me if you need to (see my profile) Best- (Photo by Rickster)

You don't have time to waste! I think you already know in your heart what you need to do, but try talking to someone...preferably a professional. Best of luck to you, and I know you make the right descision.

Nicola Pinkerton, count your blessings that you have come to the realization 6 days before the wedding and not 6 days after. The time leading up to a wedding is stressful and if he is showing signs of "cracking" now, he can't fare much better as your husband. Calmly explain your feelings to your parents and they will appreicate your honesty despite how much money they lose.

Can you postpone the wedding, for a month or longer? It will give you time to sort things out. From personal experience, a divorce is far more costly than a wedding.

Do NOT marry this guy. I was married to a selfish guy and knew it my heart it would not work and that he was NEVER going to change. I got divorced after realizing that he wanted me to center my life around him. Life is too short. Go for the adventure of knowing that you can meet someone who is better suited for you. Good Luck. We are all here to support you. Go on a vacation to a fabulous place and MOVE ON!!!. REMOGUL

you must postpone the wedding. You are having second thoughts about marrying him. If you feel the way you do,then tell him the truth. you deserve alot better than him.good luck.

Postpone the wedding. It will give you time to think and talk it over with people you trust. And if you have to cancel, I'm sure you will be more comfortable canceling a wedding a month or more away than a few days away. But don't worry about the guests - people will understand. I'm sure they'd rather see you cancel the ceremony than watch you get married to a guy you really don't want to marry.

Today's the day...I wonder what happened?

It is a good thing that you realize this before you make that vow. Counseling before marriage is important.Go to a counselor!!!

I would have to agree with STOP THE WEDDING all i can add to this is PLEASE don't stage a kidnapping. Okay, okay, maybe now isn't the time to joke around but be prepared , your gonna need a few laughs.

Marry him first then hit him with your car, youll get half his stuff and a nice shiny ring....

Definately cancel it, please don't become another statistic of a failed marriage :) you deserve to be happy :)

Then call it off. What's the problem? Are you afraid of what people will say? Forget them. It's YOUR life. You already know the answer, just do it.

I have always been told If in doubt........don't do it.

Yes call it off. if you not sure don't do it. I called mine off. and i feel so much better.

Dear Friend: As a Pastor, and, one whom has done a considerable amount of counselling over the years, would say to you.....WAIT. Where there is a modicum of DOUBT.....check it OUT. Marriage is very sacred, and, a vow that must not be taken lightly. If your fiance is selfish now, just know this.....it will not get any better. Right now you are only engaged, and, already want to hit him.....in some marriages this hitting has been known to happen, and, in some cases, has even resulted in actual murder. It would be better to walk away from this relationship, and, yes, perhaps be a bit embarrassed by the fact that your wedding plans have gone down the tubes, but, think this would be far better than getting into a relationship where there is non-equal respect. The wedding vows are two-sided......one partner does not do what they want, and, the other do what they want. A man is to respect his wife, as is the wife to respect her husband. My suggestion to you would be.....walk away from this....if you feel like praying, cry out to God, and, see if you get an answer from Him, but, would venture to say, He most likely would tell you WAIT. If this marriage is to be, nothing on earth will stop it. Will keep you in my prayers, and, ask that God show you which way to go, but, in my thinking, believe God would want to see you marry a man who has total, absolute, and, unadulterated love for you. All the best Pastor Patty