To be honest the pain never fully leaves us. It will diminish in time, it will become something you are accustomed to, you will have your moments - farther and fewer in between as time rolls on. There will be triggers, dates (anniversary, birthdays, the holidays) somebody will say something and suddenly you will be near tears because you miss your dad. The pain lessens, becomes more manageable. If you want to do things then by all means do those things. If you want to move about your life and doing things that you would do when your dad was here, do those things. We can remember the ones who go on before us in our daily lives. They would no more want us to stop living than we would expect them to stop living if the situation was in the other direction. The best we can do is continue to live our lives - Especially when we are kids - for kids are the continuance of the parent. Parents strive for their kids because their kids live on and are, in essence, a continuation of life. The feelings you have are "normal" meaning nearly everybody who does go through grief has these emotions to one degree or another. Sure many of them may not talk about it or express it, but the feelings are there. You will be ok - give it time and breath.

I lost my dad when he was only 52 and I was devastated for a long time but eventually I came to terms with it and carried on. Then, 20 years later I lost my mom as well. I cannot describe the pain I suffered but again I managed somehow to get over that too by emerging myself into my work. If you are in the UK you may consider contacting CRUSE, a UK national bereavement charity where you get information on grief and bereavement, suggestions on how to cope. The link: http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ or try this link where you can chose the one that suits you best: http://www.excite.co.uk/directory/Health/Mental_Health/Counseling_Services/Grief,_Loss,_and_Bereavement If you are somewhere else in the world there must be a similar service available. Try and google "grief counsel".

Time will help but sometimes it goes oh-so slow. There is no way to rush the process. Someone asked me once if things were "back to normal", being "normal" would be, having that person back. You learn a new form of normal and operate and live in that mode. If you are ready to do more then you should. It is your life and your pace.

I hope you are feeling better "within" since your posting of this question. I agree with everyone, really. I was only 20 when my father died, and I'm 39 now. My mother died a year later. I was really a "daddy's girl" though, and to this day, I miss him terribly. Like you, I felt alone, and very afraid. I was the caregiver for both my parents until their deaths, and I was unprepared for life without them. I also know that if my father were alive today, my life would have taken a much different path than it did. To this day, there are times when life gets to me, and I wish he were here, to talk too, to do things with. I preserve what we had by sharing the same things with my son, and I make it a point to tell him that my father is the reason WHY we do some of the things we do, and why I am like I am. My father never got the chance to see me be a mother, but I try to raise my son in such a way, that my father would, and will, someday say to me "Good job, honey"... and I'll be able to answer "It was because of YOUR good job, daddy..." I know that it's "easier said than done", but if you can... try to think of what your dad's answer to this question would be. It's never too late to take his advice, and no matter how long it's been... you can always hear it if you ask, and listen with your heart.

The pain never goes away, you just find it easier to come to terms with. Talk to your friends, do the things you did before he passed, as he would have wanted you to continue as normal. My grandad passed away on my 18th birthday, and in a month its my 21st. I still havent got over his death, and im still hoping il bump into him one day and it was all a dream, but in reality it wasnt. I dont know how im going to cope on that day, or my family. He was like a father to me. The pain eases as you come to terms with it and admit it. Nothing you can do will bring him back, all you can do is enjoy the memories, live life, and if you want to still have you little chats with him in your head. This was the first time i had experienced grief like this. I still cry about him. I still think about him every day. You arn't alone, you've got friends, and you can go to your doctor and explain how you are feeling. He/she can help you also. There is nothing to be afraid of. Maybe write down your thoughts if you find it helps. Talk to him, and talk to the people around you. Enjoy the memories you have of him, cherish them. Get out the family album and have a chuckle about that bad hair cut he had in the 70's, that sort of thing. Hope this helps, all the best. x If you need to talk, i am, and we are here.

I lost my dad in 1993, and yet there are times I still miss him. Time dulls the pain, it is true, but we also need to acknowledge certain things, in order for healing to begin. Firstly, you have to recognise the cycle of grief: Shock People's first reaction is usually one of shock and complete disbelief. Shock affects people in different ways: everything can seem unreal; people can feel numb, withdrawn, detached; some people feel completely disorientated and don't know what to do with themselves. For some it is a nightmare they cannot escape. Many people quickly experience complex and confused feelings - anger, guilt, despair, emptiness, helplessness and hopelessness. Denial When the shock begins to wear off, many people go through a stage of denial during which they cannot accept the reality of the loss. This often involves what counsellors call searching behaviour, an attempt at some level to try to deny that the death has occurred. People often find themselves thinking they have seen or heard the dead person. Many people talk aloud to the person they have lost. Anger And Guilt It is common to experience anger, sometimes guilt and often both. Many people find themselves asking: "Why has this happened"? "Why me"? This is particularly so if the loss was sudden, unexpected or involved a tragic accident, Counsellors say that it is common to wish to find blame, either in ourselves, in others, or even with the person who has died, and this can lead to powerful feelings of anger and guilt. Despair And Depression In the first few weeks the whole situation may seem unbearable and in the months that follow, many people feel there is little purpose in life and nothing of interest in the outside world. People sometimes begin to question their own sanity and think that you are going mad. Counsellors advise that this is a common experience. Acceptance Eventually people pass through the period of depression and begin to accept the loss. This usually happens with the passage of time and, as the pain eases, we are able to think about our loved one and recall the past without feelings of devastation. This can take up to a year or longer. http://www.bbc.co.uk/politics97/diana/cycle.html These do not necessarily come in that order, and sometimes one or more will make a second or even third entrance, before acceptance happens. Secondly, you have to give yourself time to mourn. In the past, people were alotted a specific time. They stayed home. Friends cooked for them etc. We don't have that now. We are expected to go to work. We go about normal business within days of the funeral. While some degree of normalcy is a good thing, we sometimes forget to mourn. I would say, give yourself a psychological mourning time that is over and above any time you may be able to take off work. Wear a black armband so people know you are in mourning. Put ashes on your forehead. Don't keep it a secret. You don't have to. You have the right to mourn. But, when the alotted time of mourning is finished, wash yourself entirely, throw away the armband, dress brightly, and say "Mourning is over". That doesn't mean you will forget, or that the pain will automatically go away, but you have made the decision to go on living. A turning point has been reached. All the best. I know how you feel.

The pain never does go away but the time period in between feeling it grows.

A whole bunch of better answers than mine have already been given. It has been *does the math* 26 years since my father passed. My mother died birthing me. Everyone has given you the advice. I just want to say something that I did that helped. I decided to live my life the best way I could to bring honor to his memory. I decided that by putting his teachings into play in my life and furthering them by seeking a fantastic martial arts Grandmaster to train me, I kept and keep his memory alive. His teachings are in me, including seeking to further them because he taught me to never stop striving to better myself. I also keep his memory alive by teaching about my people and never taking the easy way out by "passing" (I am pale enough to "pass"). I grieved actively for a long, long time... in private. However, because he was an Old World sort of fellow (from the "Old World"... Romania), I carried on with my head up in public. That is what he would have wanted. I still can hear him in my head when I am about to do something stupid or just when I need advice. I would suggest going to a grief counselor if you can. I would suggest blogging about him and how you feel, writing down some of your stories about him. Most importantly, carry his memory well by your own actions.

I lost both my dads to cancer within 6 months of each other last year and it devastated me totally! all i can say is it does get easier each day and think of all the happy times and dont NOT talk about him! dont bottle it up and DO cry your heart out whenever you want to! try to banish any feelings of guilt, you will never totally get over it but you will learn to accept it, death is hard especially when ts family, good luck x PS it made me a different person for awhile..i was a bloody nightmare to those all around me, but if they are true friends etc they will accept why you are like you are at the moment...you will see the light eventually and you will laugh again x