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by pebblez_703 on May 31st, 2007

pebblez_703

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How long does it take to get over a 3 year relationship? It's been 4 months and all of a sudden He's entered my thoughts again.

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  • by Stableboy on June 1st, 2007

    Stableboy

    It's a good idea to ask this question in a larger context: one that encompasses your whole life. The trouble with break-ups is that they tend to remind us of anything else in our lives which is "broken" -- where life is stuck, dissatisfying, or stagnant. So our angst about these other areas gets "triggered" by the upset of the break-up, and it starts to look like the break-up was maybe a big mistake: everything becomes painted the same color of black.

    So what else is happening in your life? Do you feel like the future is full of possibilities? Are you being creative and stepping out, or are you just sort of going along day-to-day in a safe routine that doesn't really stimulate you? Are you having serious problems that you're avoiding or don't know how to deal with?

    Love and relationships is a tough area by itself: there's a lot of entanglement between our ideas of love and our ideas of who we are at a deep level, so a breakup can really shake someone's idea of self, and resolving the "trauma" of a breakup involves seeing clearly who you are and what your future is about. So you can't really separate this issue from the other issues in life.

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  • by Anonymous on May 13th, 2008

    Anonymous

    They say it takes a month for every year you were with them, until you begin to feel better. So at least it wasn't ten years.

    I think when people have touched our lives, we will never really forget them. Just we are able to move on and take the good bits into our next relationship.

    One thing is for sure, heart break is an utter killer!

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  • by Twisted Taco on January 23rd, 2009

    Twisted Taco

    You have left the door closed

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  • by Anonymous on February 24th, 2009

    Anonymous

    wow my boyfriend of 2years just broke up with me. and this is not the first time. he has hurt me so many times and he is my first love. im really sad but i know i have to accept and let it go for real this time. but if he is entering your thoughts its just probly cuz u think about the good times. but dont try to go bak if u kno itz not meant to be. we have been broken up for 3 weeks and i just found out about the otha girl who was there the whole time. i think thatz what hurtz the most is to kno i wasnt the only one.

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  • by tim on January 23rd, 2009

    tim

    i wish i knew im thinking of breaking up my 3 year relatoinshio but i still lvoe him , but why am i thinking of breaking up , i need to know so i can hav the stengh to do wat i think is best for me. i hope u can get over him

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  • by DudeLer on May 13th, 2008

    DudeLer

    thoughts are okay. just meditate them out. take up a new interest like roller bladeing and meet some new people.

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  • by sassafrass on May 31st, 2007

    sassafrass

    If you really want to get over it, think of all the reasons you broke up. Im guessing that right about now, youre thinking about the reasons you started dating. Cut it out! Write down the reasons you broke up, in your own words, the more emotional the better. Its alright if you cant remember at first all of your reasons, talk to friends and really think about it and how it was best for you.

    Reread your list of relationship-enders whenever you feel like thinking about him. The amount of time to get over it varys from person to person. Dont worry about time, youre doing fine. Good luck! =]

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  • by DjJavy on June 1st, 2007

    DjJavy

    Sassafrass is right, you have to think of the reasons you broke up. After a while you tend to forget them and only think of the good times, which is why you miss them. I did this myself and kicked myself for doing it.

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  • by Anon on June 1st, 2007

    Anon

    The length of time it will take is different for everyone.

    You will know when you are over them, when you can comfortably tell them it is over and for the best...in a dream.

    Dreams are a good indicator of your psyche, warts and all.

    It will take time, and you will never just forget, just realise it was for the better, and you have become a stronger person from it (you have, realisation or not).

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  • by Kirtus_L on February 2nd, 2011

    Kirtus_L

    I was with my ex fiance for 3 and a half years when she broke up with me. We were happy together for the entire time and never had a single fight. Neither one of us did a single thing wrong to the other, we just loved and treated eachother the best we could. The reason she broke up with me is because she simply fell out of love with me, she still loved me as a person, but the romantic feelings just werent there for her anymore. Ill admit that i am still in love with her but i feel like, with time, everything will be better. I have acknowledged that I was the best boyfriend i could be and that there are other women out there who i can share my love with. Its been 3 weeks now and i know it will be a long road before i can move on to a new relationship, but im happy because she gave me the best 3 1/2 years of my life and i still have a best friend out of the whole relationship. Just remind yourself that the world is full of challenges that will hurt, but it is also full of opportunities for true happiness. Hope this helped, i know it helps me. =)

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