My hubby & I found out today that my 13 yr old step daughter had sex in our house 3 weeks ago, if this happened to you with your child what punishment would you impose? Please I need some serious answers.
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ANSWERS: 10
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13 is very young, I hope someone has a talk with her about pregnancy, STD, and birth control, I also would talk to the boys parents that she was with, when you talk to the girl, be calm, no screaming, grounding isnt the solution to this, communication is, but i think 2/3 weeks for a grounding is good
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Just because you're the stepmom doesn't mean you have limited control. You can still give parental consent for her to get birth control pills (even if you have to sneak behind dad's back, him getting mad at you is much better than HER getting pregnant, isn't it?), which is exactly what you need to do. Nothing you do or say is going to stop her from having sex if she's really bent on doing it. The best thing you can do is make sure she's protected. Punishment just isn't going to work in this situation. It's not like she forgot to clean her room, or backtalked you. She needs GUIDANCE right now, not discipline.
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I'm not sure punishment is the solution here. Your daughter is experimenting in a very dangerous area right now and she needs to be more responsible. That can only be taught, not imposed. If she's talking to the boy on her cell phone, take the phone away. Very few 13-year olds actually require a cell phone. If she can't be trusted alone, don't leave her alone. Drag her everywhere you need to go. If that's impossible and your 13-year old has to be left at home, that could be part of the problem; give a child enough time, the right location and too much freedom and they'll find something to get into. Maybe you should take her on a tour of a free clinic and your local welfare department. When young people who don't understand consequences get in trouble, they usually end up at one of those places. If you need to, you can look into a restraining order against the boy, but that may lead to more trouble. You'll have to decide whether your daughter's safety is worth the anger such a move would cause. Good luck.
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Take away everything she owns that she loves and find out who the boy is and have him arrested for statutory rape.
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Punishment will not work. The cat is out of the bag. You have to talk to her, counsel her and discourage her. If you punish her, she might just run away.
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What she needs is not to be chastised, but talked to. She may have felt pressured to do it. Talk to her with understanding and explain that sex should only be reserved for someone you really love and that noone should ever pressure you into it. Talk to her about the risks involved (pregancy and STD's). Talk to her about situations you were in when you were young that she might relate to. Her parents (mother or father) should probably take her to the doctor and get checked out and possibly put on birth control.
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I would get her enrolled in a sex education course right away. That way, she can better understand how dangerous sex at her age is. Punishment will not stop her. She will find a way to do it if she wants to continue having sex. Try to educate her a little instead of just punishment. I am not saying, though, there should not be some kind of disciplinary action taken. As her parents, that is up to you how you punish. I would encourage abstinence at her young age, of course. At the very least, she should be made to learn about safe sexual activity. Good luck with such a widespread problem for many parents of teenagers these days.
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we just oundou that our daugher is seven month old. at irst i broke down.and i am her father.the law as been brokon.for under age sex.i dont think you can do any thing to yourdaughter all bye be thee for her.but if yu can find out who the father is then you should sop her from seeing him but if she told you then you should be very luckey. as we have just found out bye to peopl from the hospitill.its done now. and you cant turn the clock back to me she as been through it already and as got much more to face.if i was you i would make sure that the bloke or kid stays right away
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i dont know really what you can do but dontyou think that your child as to go through planty and as to face alot.you dont want her to lose the baby do you?so you must be very carefull on what you do.orshe could get takeon away at leaset she came and told youand that must of takeon guts.be there for her ad show her that you love her i know its hard.as yo are like me knowing they are not ready for this start in life.and have giveon up a lot in life.but like us what can you do now?me i found out seven months later and i didet want to know all i wanted to do was go and get the man who di this i went after him but i then find out its not him.so iv not got a clue whats going on you know you have to help her with that child. and may be the child will get to know you more than the dad if you know who he is find outis age.and see what law says about it 13 is under age fora starter.so if the blokeis over this its classed as some kind of rape.your daughter can not say yes or no so its under ge but be carefull for your daughers sake
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Punishment? Are you insane. Punishment will only end up in her having sex everywhere but in your house. At least she did it at home. Just talk about it and ask her what her opinion is about it. Why did she have sex. I would be more concerned if she was 'forced/not able to say no' or that she did it out of free will/curiosity. Explain the consequences though I can hardly imagine she does not know already. Whatever you do do not force her to have to do things in secret. You do not want to be the kind of parent kids do not dare to talk to, because all they will get is punishment. Set up rules or tell her things she should keep in mind. Tell her about your own experiences. Try to get closer not futher away. The next 5/7 years are life changing years for her. Try to be in the story instead of forcing her to leave you out.
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