By trying to understand that they are another human being... We all have our flaws, but we have to learn to live with them, or at least ignore them... I haven't personally gone through a divorce, I'm only 18, but my parents went through a divorce and it took me a long time to forgive my mom... I did it though... she's even coming to my graduation!

To be honest, I do not even try to forgive and my priest agrees with me . Maybe we are both wrong but anyone that kills a child who is dearly loved and can never ever be replaced has no right to expect the parents to try to forgive. I have seen parents that do forgive their childs killer, but they are much better people than i know how or even want to know how to be. To me a sin so great can only be forgiven by a much higher power than I have or would want.

I think you have to be very sorry for what you did and try to work it out before even expecting anyone to forgive you. For Firebrand, I agree that there is no need to forgive somebody like that. Maybe it also depends on how you define forgiveness though. Is it that ok you're forgiven we can be buddies now... or is it ok - I am going to put this behind me, and try not to dwell on it. I think there are different levels of forgiveness. If it's somebody you see often who has wronged you... in my case, I just remain civil, but don't go out of my way to have conversation, or anything else. I try not to dewll on it - maybe in a way that's forgiveness, but I NEVER forget....

You are forgiving, not for the other person, but for yourself. It's a gift you do for you. You aren't saying what they did is okay, you are just saying you forgive them the hurt they did to you and let all the anger and pain go. THen you can move forward and be free from all the bitterness and stress that kieeping inside you can do. It can no longer hurt you if you can just let it go. Do not give other people the power to control YOUR emotions and oush your buttons. By forgiving them and letting it go, you are free from their power and have gained your own back.

I've never really hated someone, but I came real close to hating my ex-husband. But I am a christian, and I had to search with in myself. I had to remember that he is a human being to and my bible says, "We wrestle not against flesh and blood". There is certain verses that I had to remember. I began to pray for him, and I prayed that God would open up his eyes to how he was as an individual. I also began to pray that God would forgive me for the things I had said and done. It was not easy, but I tell you I had plenty of people praying on my behalf, and my kids to. I went through 5 years of court with this man, and now he is paying the consequences for the things he did. I feel bad for him in a good way. I do not wish any harm to him, and I only hope that he finds true love...... Right now he is in a relationship with someone, and he is controlling her every move. I believe that all things are possible for God to do. Now I believe a person has to want to change. I hope this helps, and remember I understand where your coming from. Do you know I went to depths with this man; I mean I got rid of his restraining order at one time, excused him from anger management classes, and let him see his kids more often, annd excused the back childsupport; and quess what he did? he used it all against me in court. Yes, I got some precutions over it, but in the long run, I won because God was with me all the time, and he knew my heart. So Forgiveness is possible. God Bless.

You have to come to the realization that the hate you have for them is hurting you more than it is hurting them .

to tell the truth: i dont! i cant help but holdd grudges against them

There is only one person in this world i hate and i will not forgive them for as long as i live.