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by 8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009 on May 7th, 2007
1) Point my toes straight down, cross my legs, and stick out my arms. That way the cleanup crew can twist me out of the ground like a corkscrew.
OR
2) Aim for my mother-in-law. If I'm gonna die, I may as well make the world a better place before I go.
by R U Sirius on May 7th, 2007
Make sure the next time you sky dive you don't have an affair with the wife of your parachute packer.
by Anonymous on May 7th, 2007
Before or after I pissed myself?
by Friartuck on May 7th, 2007
A friend's skydiving instructor had the following advice in the event all parachutes failed:
"Point you toes straight down. Put your arms out like a crucifix. Tip one hand up and one hand down. This will start you spinning like a top. When you land, you will burrow straight into the dirt and it will save the expense of burying you..."
Oh so reassuring!!
by American idle on May 7th, 2007
Curse god for screwing up yet again...lol
by Nublet on May 7th, 2007
If for some strange reason I decided to go skydiving, I surely wouldn't do it alone. I'd try to latch on to my friend & hope their parachute was not having the same problem.
by mekare on May 7th, 2007
die
by jtolb65 on May 7th, 2007
Aim for that mattress factory down there...and try to miss the jagged metal factory right next door.
by Babycakes on May 7th, 2007
Do quite a few laps around the rosary.
by Starson on May 7th, 2007
If you were above land, say your prayers and hope you can find some thick bush/trees to land in and hopefully break your fall (apparently a woman fell from some silly height into trees and she survived, with broken bones though I think).
If you were falling into water, try and break the surface tension before you hit the water, maybe with your shoe of something.
Generall, hope the lucky gods are looking down on you :p
by tinybubbles is sitting on the carpet read on May 7th, 2007
I would be praying to the lord to keep me safe and hope that i land in the lake or something like that.
by QueenDistructo on May 8th, 2007
Scream. And hope for the best.
by the general on May 7th, 2007
probably dig through my pockets to see if i still had the bill for that parachute,cause for sure i m gonna want my money back this time,enough is enough.
by donovan reynolds. on May 7th, 2007
Well, seeing as there is little else I *could* do, I would most likely do something completely ridiculous-- hoping and praying that it would work, knowing to myself that it wouldn't. Something like taking my jumpsuit (or whatever it is I would be wearing for skydiving) off and trying to use it as a makeshift parachute, imagining myself wafting gently down as a feather would in my head, whist falling to my death would be a pretty good example... =P
by Miss on May 7th, 2007
Say a prayer! =)
by Amorphous Blob on July 23rd, 2008
Locate someone else in the jump, and either spread my body out to slow down or put arms and legs together to catch up, grab hold of them, unlatch and wrestle them out of their parachute, and put it on myself while keeping them away with kicks.
by Anonymous on July 23rd, 2008
Pick an object and try for a direct hit. I'm dead already, might as well make a game of it. I'm certainly not going to worry about it.
by hetalivo on July 22nd, 2008
Well, if I was skydiving with other people, I'd signal my predicament to them and hang on. If you do this, you break both arms, so the other person needs to hold you, but you will probably survive.
If I was skydiving alone, I'd try to open the chute manually, reaching my hands into the pack and unravelling it.
Failing that, just aim for something to cushion the fall - a bale of hay, trees, grass, even a car would help.
by N_T_P sleeps with fishes on May 8th, 2007
wake up in a cold sweat, and make a mental note to never go skydiving ever!
by Phrenia on May 7th, 2007
If I was alone, I'd say my last prayers, plan on what part of the body I'd rather fall on, wonder if it matters, and then try to enjoy my fall.
If I wasn't, I'd probably freak out, try to get help, fail, and well, fall.
by Starmaster on May 7th, 2007
Become a religious person....remember those religious moments at Church and at Catholic School. Faith in God and Religion basically comes from the fear of death...and that's the perfect time for a moment like that!
by Abbyguy on May 7th, 2007
Say gooddbye to the ones I love.
by SusieQ on May 7th, 2007
I suppose there would be nothing left to do but pray.
by RamJamBumbleBee on May 7th, 2007
Strip and then start swimming.
by LarryH54 on September 17th, 2009
Have the guy repack it BEFORE I get into the plane. Nobody said I found out after jumping...
by Killer X747 on November 17th, 2008
Pray like mad.
by disciple on July 23rd, 2008
pray and then just enjoy the ride down...
by steelstr45 on July 23rd, 2008
try to land on my head to ensure a quick death.
by B.fife My honesty makes people angry... on July 23rd, 2008
Aim for someone I didn't like!
by M.Bradbury on July 22nd, 2008
Crap myself
by mcclisteraf on May 8th, 2007
Make peace with God...
by Marama on May 8th, 2007
Fall...
by yup. on May 8th, 2007
a flip.
by Halskiisaklink on May 8th, 2007
Remove my underwear, stretch it above my head and float safely down to the Earth's surface.
by quincy on July 22nd, 2008
Kiss your ass goodbye
by AnonymousAndrew on July 23rd, 2008
Use my jetpack to fly to safety
by Valarie robbing the Deaf on July 22nd, 2008
Dance my last dance and aim for water if possiable.
by Drastic on July 23rd, 2008
Quickly locate my boss's Lamborghini and land on it ;)
by Carrot and Stick on July 23rd, 2008
What more could I do? I would scream as if someone could actually hear me, and probably give myself a heart attack before reaching the ground.
by DreAnna on July 22nd, 2008
Hope like hell I die on impact cuz..thats gonna hurt..LMAO :)
by WoOZackWoO on July 23rd, 2008
I would probably be screaming/ praying/ saying my final thoughts to people that will never hear me.
by ChelseaMark on May 8th, 2007
Mess my back chute !! LOL !!
by knightrider17 on May 7th, 2007
by Anonymous on May 7th, 2007
Usually, you die.
by life is in limbo for louboo1969 on May 7th, 2007
Tell my boys and fiance I love them in my mind, that's if I'm not passed out by then!
by Anon on May 8th, 2007
I'm thinking scream
by Froggy on July 23rd, 2008
Fall into some tall pine trees to break my fall like Rambo and then get out the needle and thread and sew up all of my nasty bleeding gashes.
by mike on July 22nd, 2008
pray and then make my body limp so maybe i could survive becaus a it happened to a women 1 time and she survived a parachute fail.
by grin on September 20th, 2008
I would act like I was swimming.
by R U Sirius on September 17th, 2009
I try to calculate if I can rub one out in 27 seconds.............
How many times you go skydiving?
by XT on June 6th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
I would like to try sky diving for the first time in my up coming birthday, can anyone give me some suggestions to get over my fears?
by TattooMama on June 9th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
How much does Tandem Skydiving cost at Above Los Angeles Skydiving (221 North Los Angeles Street, Los Angeles, CA)?
by Nepwolf on July 25th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Would you ever do skydiving?
by XT on August 17th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Could a blue tarp 16'x12', rigged like a parachute, slow a person down enough that they wouldn't get hurt when they hit the ground?
by Froggy on November 9th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
You're reading You're skydiving and you just found out that your main parachute and back-up parachute don't work. What do you do?
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Comments
LMAO!
by Stableboy on May 7th, 2007
@stableboy: How's the bird investigation coming along?
by gtravels loves her life penguin on May 7th, 2007
@jervinator: inspired! lmao too!
by gtravels loves her life penguin on May 7th, 2007
What bird investigation?
by Stableboy on May 7th, 2007
You're scaring me babe. Your next in-depth answer was supposed to be about birds pooping on your head. How could you forget an issue of such significance?
by gtravels loves her life penguin on May 7th, 2007
Oh God, what a short memory I have. I think it's atrophied from lack of use. It's all that asking "who am I?"... eventually, even the subconscious loses track :-)
by Stableboy on May 7th, 2007
I figured I just scared you off with my little depression tutorial;)
by gtravels loves her life penguin on May 7th, 2007
No, I've just been pretty busy. Tonight I should be doing some other things, of course... but instead I'm trying to catch up on commenting. That means going through the list of my favorite people and seeing what they're up to and making inane comments. Fun!
by Stableboy on May 7th, 2007