Tell me the best one line to quit a job?
by 
giveiturall
ANSWERS: 100
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goodbye and thanks for the cookies.
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Here (boss's name here), this is my 2 week notice.
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... and by the way, i'm sleeping with your wife
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Thanks for nothing..I'm outta here.
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(TO the boss),,,, Sir,,,Today you look like a begger..?Am I right.
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I like the classic, "Take this job and shove it!"
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I would hang a little mistletoe from my back pants pocket and tell him/her to kiss my ....
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Ive used up all my sick days so im calling in dead
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Ok, I'm quitting...I just can't take the sexual tension anymore...Of course, now that we're no longer co-workers, what say we hit the pub...*wink*
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kiss this or take this job and shove it.
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I quit!
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tell them that you are pregnant, say my grandparents just died within a week of each other then move to another country, ( thats how i quite my last job .) job before that leave a note on your boss`s desk saying i quite.
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This place is sick, I'm outta here.
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See yer later aligator .
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How about calling in "well"; Saying "Well, it's over!"
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At the tone you will be alone...click
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*You're just a shit boss (only say this if you really don't need a reference!!!) *I hear voices in my head telling me to kill the boss (only say this if you want to take a holiday in a padded jail cell) *My professional and life interests have changed (this is possibly the nicest one I can think of) *I feel as though I've reached my full potential and need to seek out a different kind of challenge (this one's also a good one).
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I'm sorry that I have to tell you that. It has nothing to do with you, you ubnderstand? You'r a great boss and you do an excellent job but.. It's an economical reason, I really don't have a choice here... So I quit (for once, i'd like to give them back THEIR sorry excuses)
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Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity you gave me. No matter what, it will serve you better later.
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Buddy, I was too week to notice I need to blow this pop stand!
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I've accepted another job at twice the pay with amazing benefits and I just couldn't turn it down.
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I'm sick of being treated like a mushroom....kept in the dark and fed sh*t
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I'm leaving to pursue other opportunities. (My old company would always have this phrase in an email when they let somebody go, including me, even when people knew it was basically a lie.)
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"I've developed an eye problem...I can't see myself working here anymore."
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True story! I was offered a job by a company and accepted three days before christmas. That night, I typed up a resignation letter (being nice). The next day my boss stopped me in the hallway and said "got a second?" and he handed me an envelope and said it was my christmas bonus (everyone already knew that the bonuses that year were about $30, that's it). Here is the one line response I gave him: "Thanks, here is my two weeks notice, would you like the bonus check back?" I kept the $32 bonus check and walked away.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prBPEL2J7fY hilarious!
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Walk into your bosses office and say "I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either".
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I'm taking a long lunch!!!!!!!!!! On my way to my next job!!!
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Take this job and SHOVE IT!!
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Hey A-hole (to boss -- he comes over) yeah you. Lick my B***** you c***** sucker and walk out the door. Do not use this job for a referral :)
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"You can See Me In Hell." Then throw a handful of glitter in their face. Because... have you ever tried to get glitter off your face? It's annoying as all hell.
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I have found that this job requires more attention than I believe myself capable of providing therefore I will be stepping down in hopes that you can find someone more suitable. Not part of the answer but personaly I think that this is what Bush should do all things considered.
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I have found that this job requires more attention than I believe myself capable of providing therefore I will be stepping down in hopes that you can find someone more suitable. Not part of the answer but personaly I think that this is what Bush should do all things considered.
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I hate you all, peace out.
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"I don't think I'll be back tomorrow - or any day after that, either."
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call in well.....well it's over.
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Im pregnant and I just hit the lottery.
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I'll be leaving now...
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Please make up my salary i will be leaving at the end of the day/week/month.
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" I'm sorry, I'm tired of playing the Serf in this renaissance fair."
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boss, you're underqualified for my life!
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I know you said we should put in a two week notice, so wait two weeks and notice i don't work here anymore.
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I'm calling in sick ... of you and the job.
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You're fired! (To your boss.) A job is when you hire a boss to make your life miserable. It is a guaranteed pay cut.
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"I'm Fired!"
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you're ugly and i hate my job. so i'm quitting my job but you'll always be ugly
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Its been fun but file this job where the sun don't shine, and where the corn don't grow!
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So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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simon says...quit.
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You can't fire me! I quit! What am I going to do? What are you going to do? Because I'm not going to f*cking be here! I've used both.
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You may have wanted a prostitute, but you hired a work horse, and now you don't even have that!
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"Take this job and shove it, I ain't working here no more"
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hi i hate to be the one to tell you .but it not working out here for me.if they ask why tell them they got there priorities all mess up. then say good bye hope it works out for you!
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I quit.
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"You are unfortunate to lose me!"
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I quit, and buy the way, your wife makes exellent breakfast
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When I quit my previous job, I didn't say anything at all. I just gave them a resignation letter and left.
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I would come in dressed in relaxing shorts, flip flops, tee shirt and say you guys are being upsized. Forget a two week notice, last I checked do they ever give you two weeks notice before they fire someone!
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shove your job right up your arse
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Everything is always okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end, adios.
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I fire you of the job of my employer. LOL
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to break it to them gently: "really, it's not you, it's me..."
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Go into the boss's office, sit down and tell him you need to have a "heart to heart" chat. Now this can only work if your boss has a significant other who you have either met or seen a photo of. You look him in the eyes and say the following: "I just can't concentrate on working for you anymore. Ever since the office party, when you brought your wife….well, I just can't go about deceiving you anymore." He'll wonder what the heck you're talking about and you can continue, "Well. There's a connection between us…we both feel it. It's very deep. And I feel you have a right to know. I can't stay here a minute longer and face you." This can even be even more fun if everyone was rip roaring drunk at the office party and your boss happened to be "absent" for a few hours, along with Miss Hills. He won't know what the hell happened! Make sure you tell him that you "haven't told anyone else in the office." With this plan, you will not only have accomplished your goal of quitting, but you might actually be able to shake the boss down for some severance pay. To keep your mouth shut.
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This is how I do it
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Act like the guy in the 'Office' movie.
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Say "Ike Witt." If you decide to retract your resignation later, you can say you were referring to your sister's husband's second cousin's gardener!
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A clear, simple, flipping of the bird. Impossible to misunderstand.
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"Take this job and shove it, I 'm not working here anymore". sounds wonderful but then you have to live with the consequences. :)
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My old boss was a complete tard - he sat there and shouted at me for not finding someone to cover my shift, when we were told we could get fired unless HE found someone to cover our shift. there were notices up in the store and everything anyway - i just turned around and said to him - you know what - i'm sick of you and your attitude and you don't deserve to have me working here - bye! :-D
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*unzip-clunk*
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If you don't need references from the job, just one word will do, "Bye". Walk to HR and tell THEM you quit. If you DO need references, "I've really learned a lot during the time I've been here, but I've got a better offer, and will be leaving in two weeks. Thank you for your support while I was here." (sorry... two lines) Me? I sent a letter to the whole company with something along the latter lines. The president of the company actually called HR and and asked why I was leaving after 11 years. (THAT made me feel good.) Looking back, leaving was a mistake, but hind-sight's 20/20.
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Line to quit a job: I've had it, I can't take it anymore.
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kthxbye
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I'm sorry you must of fell on your a** and damaged your brain if you think I'm working her anymore.
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its not you its me im just too good for you and the company..
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see ya bitches !
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I am quitting at the end of my vacation.
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"This is my two week notice."
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Bub-bye now!
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you dont want to quit a job. you want to get fired so you can collect unemployment. so tell the boss you want to work from home instead of at the office.
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I can't work for you anymore, got me a new gig...I'm an ABer.
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Our doctor has told us that we shouldn't work here anymore; we agree.
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Byeeee ive seen the light........
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Byeee......ive won the saturday night 5 million pound lottery......by the way - heres what i really think of ya.........
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You're Fired!!
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I rubbed my junk on someones lunch, I'm out.
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Yo boss, I gotta leave a little early. I'm doin' your wife at 5 and I'm still gonna try and fit your mom in at 7...later.
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Man this place is a joke, I'm out of heeeeerrrreee, LOSER. And depending on the job, do something drastic like turning off the fryers and grills at a restaurant while they are busy
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!!
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see ya bitches !
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If you hated the boss... "Take this job and shove it" like the song If it was ok but you like to mess with people "I have found the true meaning of life and am going to India to further explore the essence of myself."
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I have anal glaucoma. I can't see my ass getting up and coming into work anymore.
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do an edward norton from fight club
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all you want from me is sex. guy to girl=cool girl to guy=not cool guy to guy=embarassingly funny girl to girl=frickin awesome
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Oh my He's stealing! (point other direction) and run. yell i quit? haha. Yell "i'm gonna work at (rivalry company)! eat that bioooches
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Sick leave?? Gone. Holiday leave?? Gone. Me?? Gone. See ya!
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MY MOTHER DIED
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You never gave me any nap time, so I'm quitting.
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What's up doc? Guess what.. I quit! muaaaaah!
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"boss, ur wife looks hot!"
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