try setting up a few major rules in your home such as he /she must show respest.or chores that need to be done or what ever is important to you. here is a disapline that you could do instead of grounding say for a week or more at a time. try a TEASPOT which stands for (take everything away for a short period of time). what this means is taking everything away like i pod,computers, tv and so on except maybe reading books such as the bible for 24 hours. that means, say you give a teaspot at 2:30 pm then it must last until 2:30pm the next day. this also means if he/she had a date that means no date for that period of time. lets say there is verbal abuse even after the teaspot is given add an extra hour untill he/she stops. hopefully he/she will get the message after you give them additional hours. this sounds simple to do but it is difficult. remember to keep it short and stick to it they will soon begin to change their behavior. the heason for the short period of time is so they will be hurt by not being able to do anything but it will be over soon. the rules should be written down and posted so when he/she breaks them just piont to the rules and say you have a teaspot. good luck

I'm all for staying consistent. If this isn't possible, maybe sending the child somewhere where rules are consistent is a great idea. If you can't afford military school, your kiddo can sign up for the military at the tender age of 17 and spend the summer at basic training. I'm all for a little military discipline.

Things got so bad with my friends daughter that she was sent away to one of the schools. Not Military but to teach them self worth. Very dramatically they came in the middle of the night and took her from her bed. It cost almost 100,00 dollars a year. My friends daughter actually spent six months there. She is now a pleasant polite 16 year old , not good all the time but most of the time . Attends school and is doing well.. I do not know if this is the best method just one that I know about when a parent was at the end of their tether and so frightened for her daughters safety that it seemed the only option to keep her daughter safe.

You mention that the discipline at home is constantly switched. This could be the primary reason your teen fails to follow the rules. How can you follow the rules when you don't know what they are and why follow them at all if there's a chance you'll get away without punishment? What teens need (and most want whether they admit it or not) are gound rules that don't change. This provides them with stability and removes the unknown variables. If your teen knows that a certain discipline will result without fail for a particualr action (talking back, missing curfew, etc.) they begin to see the futility of trying to work around the system. Some teens do have true behavioral or emotional issues and require professional counseling. If you believe that's the case here, you should consult a professional for advice. Putting your child into the juvenile justive system usually does far more damage than good and military school, while it can be very effective, may send the unintended message that you don't want the child in the house. Good luck.

Teaching the parents how to be consistent with discipline. If that doesn't work then you can try group homes. I don't believe the military school or juvinile detention is the appropriate place for a child. Yes, I know that it helps some kids but how many does it hurt. In Fla this year there have been two publized cases of kids dying while in the care of these types of places. One b/c they didn't believe he was really sick. And I think the other was beaten to death but I am not sure.

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