Why do women fall in love with a mans personality, then go on to systematically change them?
by 
steelhamster@aol.com
ANSWERS: 10
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This is because some woman wish to be dominant and control the man. By trying to change the mans personality, she is trying to "rewrite" the man into the man she wants, rather than the man that is actually there. This is selfish, and not love. Love is accepting someone as who they are. Some woman do this out of fear or dependency love, because if the man is like them, they will forget that the man is actually a separate individual with his own life and interests.Then the fear of losing him will disappear for a time. In dependency love , we want to think that the person we are dependent on is like us in every way, hence the behaviour in the question. Overall , it is unhealthy and should be addressed through counselling or psychotherapy.
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Every woman has a picture of the ideal man in her head. If she is attracted to a man, he most likely has many of the characteristics that fit this profile. In the initial stages of a relationship, infatuation blinds her to those personality traits that do not match up with her ideal. As she gets to know a man, these incongruent traits make themselves known and she tries to force him to become the picture. With any level of maturity and self reflection, she hopefully comes to realize that a man is who he is, and that she is dishonoring and disrespecting him by not accepting that. Only then can she be free to appreciate all of the wonderful qualities that drew her to him in the first place.
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Speaking for me Only I have done that - and it was because I lacked confidence and wanted all their attention - Which I now know it only pushes them away Great Question for me Hello Steel
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Apparently it makes them happy....;-D.... As the line from My Fair Lady goes: "She'll redecorate your home From the cellar to the dome Then go to the enthralling Fun of overhauling you" Drat! Couldn't find a video clip....:-D....
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Women like change, men do not. We change constantly & to make things adjust we make minor 'adjustments' to make their lives as well as our lives easier & better!
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In my opinion it depends on what they were trying to change and why that would matter to me. If I had a drug or alcohol addiction and it has become increasingly worse over time then a woman has every right to change something like that about me and if I loved and cared enough for her I would want to change the behavior that is making her unhappy. If it was something like I always cut my hair a certain way and suddenly she doesn't like it anymore and finds it unattractive then I agree I should not have to change how I am comfortable with cutting my hair simply because she suddenly fins it boring and unexciting.
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I think this question would be better if it were worded with "partner" in every place man or women were used here. It's pretty sexist as it's written, and it does happen on both sides of a relationship. I think all people grow and change. I also think it's just a characteristic of a long relationship that something "quirky" that may have been "cute" when you were infatuated eventually becomes annoying over time. I think the best thing to do is to think about, and discuss, what things are and aren't important in terms of "deal-breakers" in relationships. For example, if you knew your partner cheated on someone else or was a smoker WHEN YOU ENTERED the relationship, you gave a clear signal and made a conscious choice that THAT was acceptable. On the other hand, if it were something benign such as, s/he says "YUP" all the time, and you thought it was cute at first but now it just annoys you, have a talk about that. I hope this helps somehow.
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well that sounds a little on the sexest side but what ever. i dont try to change my man i love him as is and take the good with the bad.
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When they first meet they are not in a committed relationship so things can slide by a lot easier. When the relationship becomes one of commitment there are expectations and behaviors required to be upheld in honor of the relationship. If these are not adhered to, one partner may try to change the other partners behavior with the intention of enabling the relationship to function in a manner they find more acceptable. It is not a female trait any more so than a mans. It's just a result of two people trying to maintain individuality whilst being partnered yet not always doing it in a way that impresses their partner - who then protests.
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When you watch too many DIY programs, any partner can begin to look like a potential "fixer-upper". :) Word of warning: It'll take longer than it does on TV, and it some cases the time and money might not be a worthwhile investment.
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