She sounds very insecure and afraid more than anything

I honestly think that's a symptom of myspaceitis.

My wife and i raised our daughter and two granddaughters. My children are gorgeous, but they never flaunted it. Lets face it, some daughters are prettier than others. but, being self-centered could be a serious character flaw. as Barney says on The Andy Griffith show, its time to "nip it in the bud". meaning, being critical of other peoples looks. you need to give her guidance in this area. if not, shes stuck with it for life. Remember, all of us are not born to be movie stars.

Is she inconsiderate of other people's feeling generally? If not, I'd think she would understand if you said that negative comments about other people's looks will really wound the other people if they hear about her comments indirectly - and these comments spread like wildfire.... If she IS unempathetic generally, this can really come back to bite her - all it'll take is someone prettier - and there's always someone prettier, smarter, etc. - which is why there's some self-interest in DEVELOPING empathy. I hope good things for you and for her.

it could be a phase, or it could be the development of a severe character flaw... the only way to get through it is to try to instill some humility in her, regardless of where it stems. i think most teenage girls are hypersensitive about looks, and can get a big head if it's encouraged.

My 16 year old son has just gone through a similar thing. He has always been very generous and caring. He's also a hard worker and does well in school, but the last year saw him making statements like, 'everyone else in my class is thick' or 'i am a genius' constantly. I ignored it on the basis that positive behaviour should be reinforced and bad behaviour ignored, but it continued. Eventually he did very well in an exam and I said nothing. He phoned his father up wanting to move out because 'i didn't care how hard he worked'. I explained to him that I was very proud of him but he needed no one else to blow his trumpet as he was busy doing it himself. I also said that if he'd like to hear me say good things about him he should stop saying them about himself, that it was a very unattractive trait. It's pretty much stopped since then. Kids don't like being considered ugly, peer pressure is huge and with shows like americas top model and the swan etc the pressure is even greater. By explaining how unattractive self praise is you may be able to make her realise that there is anothe way to be pretty damn ugly. Phrases often used by my nan to bring us down a peg or two when we were kids: Self praise is no recommendation Oh do you want a polishing cloth for your trumpet? Nice tune dear but a bit repetative.

This could very well be a phase but at this age though, it sounds as if she may be self absorbed. I don't know what her home life is like but she needs a good role model to show her that looks and intelligence carry you only so far. The determining factor of how she will be judged by her peers is what is in her heart.

this could mean a lot of things but mostly it sounds like she fears rejection. 15 is such a hard age because everyone is very cliquey and beginning to experient with drinking, drugs and sex. its when you really have to develop your limits, sad but true. she also sees her looks as her talent. maybe she doesnt think she is good at anything elseyou posted this question almost a year ago, has anything changed?

She could be reassuring herself. Definately a teenager thing also, constantly thinking about how you look. Its particularly sad that what she values most about herself is how she looks. I had a friend that encouraged me to find nice things about other people, so that I wouldn't think about myself so much. Model positive behavior, remark how polite/well mannered/smart/generous/etc other peole are when you are around her. Tell her about what good character means, and a little respect for herself and other people.