ANSWERS: 9
-
Honestly, that sounds like a conversation you should be having with him. I don't know anything about your relationship, but HE does. Ask him what the chances are. As far as what you should do, I would take it slow, and not get your hopes up right now. He was hurt so he felt the need to break it off with you. But it's obvious that he still thinks you are a good person, by wanting to have coffee with you. My suggestion is to have a heart to hear with him. But make sure that you have rectified the situation. He obviously left for a reason. If you think it could be more than that, you may think about asking him what it would take to get back together. And when he tells you, do it. Good luck. :)
-
Have either of you changed as a result of the break-up? Did either of you address your issues during this 3 months? In what ways did you put family before him and has that mindset changed? If the only thing that has changed is the date on the calendar then you are in threat of falling back into the same old rut after the initial re-spark of your relationship is over. Take this time to talk with each other about what may have gone wrong and what each one of you can do to improve the relationship if you are willing to give it a try. When talking, talk about what "I" can do to change, not what "you" can do to change. Always speak about what you yourself will do and encourage him to do that too. If the conversation gets into pointing out each others flaws, it can only go downhill. Stay focused on self examination after discussing what the real issues were in the relationship... such as Communication, devotion, respect, family, future goals as a couple together, marriage, etc.
-
Hello, I just want to know why you have been boyfriend/girlfriend so long? 7 years seems a long time to just date. Perhaps if he and you moved toward a commitment sooner, your family bonds would have not put this wedge between you both. If you are not married or engaged to him, it's only reasonable that you put your family first, I don't see a problem with that. Ask yourself, do you really want to get back with a person who would want you to chose between your family and him? I don't know why he can't come to some type of compromise or give you a commitment. This is just me talking, I dated with a view to marriage because that is what courtship is for. If I dated a person more than one year and they didn't know if I was for them, I would want to move on. Whatever you decide, I wish you well.
-
I have talked to him.I asked him what the chances are of getting back together.He said there is no way we will get back together at this time, yet he does email and go to coffee with me.When we leave each other, he gives me a huge caring hug.He is 9 years older than me and his kids have been grown for sometime.My youngest graduates from high school this year.Neither of us wanted to get married until the kids were grown. Somewhere along the line, he decided he wanted more but didn't tell me.He likes to know what I am doing. I feel I have the time now that he wants but he won't budge. Is there a chance for us or should I let it go.
-
I would be iffy if I were you because he broke up with you because of your views of your priorities. In my mind family comes first. Before ANYTHING. He didn't make the commitment to become family so he shouldn't be picky because you value yours. If you really really want to get back together with him, I guess you could try to make it work, but make sure you consider all the factors of why you two didn't work out the first time.
-
I would like to work it out with him. I'm just wondering what you would suggest for the next step. He will only have coffee once in a while. Should I continue with coffee and as friends, keep it light, as he now refuses to discuss the breakup or let it go. Thank you for all the wonderful insight.
-
Does your family like him? I've had similar problems before. If you all are still talking your chances of getting back together - seem good.
-
Was the family you put before him your children? If so, any man who expects a mother (or any woman who expects a father) to put them before the children isn't the horse to bet on. Is he keeping his line in the water waiting for the day when your children are "gone"? I wouldn't want a man like that, myself. I would want one who loved ME, as I was, right now this very moment. One who understood ALL of my life and it's complications, obligations and loves and wanted to be there with me through them. That's love, to me.
-
If he doesnt understand that your family came before him, then hes not worth it. Family members care and will always be there for you, usually anyway. Move on, make a new life.
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC

by 