What not to say to a patient on a surgery table?
by 
Chosun One
ANSWERS: 47
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If you don't get through this can i have your slippers.
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Good morning...and what are you in here for?
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Um exuse me but i believe weve made a slight error and there is 98% that your face might come out deformed sorry but hope you come again next time
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oops. Didn't mean to do that!
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My mother died from this operation but am sure you'll be just fine!
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Hey, have you seen my watch?
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You know, I'm really going to miss you ......
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Doctor to intern: Watch this, I can make his leg twitch...
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this is a first for me too...
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I really hate washing my hands!
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Hey, nurse! Hurry! Call the Discovery Channel!
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Whooops! Okay nobody panic.
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Ok wait... if THIS is the stomach, then what was that I took out?
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I'm really having a bad day today. When it rains, It pours. This is my fifth operation today! The first four are now in the hospital morgue. I'll make sure you get through this.
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"Sir, you did sign your Living Will, didn't you?"
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I thought you came here for a bypass! Nurse! Is this the guy with appendicitis?
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*Hand twitches uncontrolably* "sorry i had to much coffee this morning"
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Im sorry but we have to remove his penis
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Post-op: "Damn it. You know when you put something together and you some how end up with extra screws... ?"
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"No no no... everything will be fine! I've seen this done on ER a thousand times!"
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We just opened up our appendectomy patient, and he doesn't have an appendix. And why is your Jewish testicular cancer patient not circumcised?
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Will we meet again?
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Didn't I see you last night at the bar?
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I hope there are no complications..I have a raging hangover.
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"nurse watch where that thing lands i cant remember if he needs that to live or not"
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If you hear a ticking I dropped my watch in your chest...
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Hey I said get me a sandwich not liver...ah shit wait....
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Whoops! Whaddya mean you're not in here for a C-section? Oops, we forgot the anesthesia... Do ya like my new CHAINSAW? Ugh, I think I'm gonna hurl, get me a trash can...<urp>... too late
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Dont Worry, there wont be too many complications
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Good luck!
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surgeon- 'Holy S*!t what the hell is that?' just before they go under......
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Well, the operation went as expected,and everything looks fine. You just get your rest, we will be taking you to your room in just a few minutes.We just have to clear up some equipment first, wait, where is my knife?
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I slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night!
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Oh, so YOU'RE the bloke that slept with my wife....? Nigh nigh....
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Well, when I went in for my vasectomy, the doctor giving me the needle for the local anesthetic...(which didn't work, btw), said, "Just a little prick"...HAHA funny, doc...>=P
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Sorry if I seemed grumpy earlier, I've got a helluva hangover...
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i am feelin like drunk and i want to sleep, so let's get this done as fast as we can..
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Whoops! or UH-OH!!
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It wasn't like this in the "Surgery for Dummies" book.
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My brother went in for surgery once and actually did hear "oops" before being put under. Turns out the anesthesiologist just dropped a syringe or something.
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uh oh...
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will begin as soon as I look up your condition on webmd.com!
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Your insurance does not cover the normal procedure, so we will try this new experimental method. I hope that this does not hurt too much".
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I think I read this procedure on "Surgery for Dummies 101"
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I'm a bit nervous, this is the first time I do it on my own.
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Anybody see my glasses?
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"Oops." or "What is THAT??" or "I've never seen anything like THAT before." or *picking up a piece of equipment* "Where's the instruction manual??" or ... calling the patient by the wrong name.
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