admiration.

tyes i do feel admiration, because you must love you partner.... UNBELIVEABLY!

Good evening PP: Well, if they have resolved things and the relationship is HEALTHY, to where there is little chance of it happening again, I admire them both if they are going to try to work it out. If the person cheats again however, I would feel neither pity nor admiration if the person who was cheated on did not file for divorce and separate from the cheater as fast as they could. Second chance on this kind of thing is enough. Time to get out and find someone loyal and who can be trusted.

pity. get the F out of there & call a lawyer.

I married young, and made the mistake of cheating. No sex, but it would have eventually happen. My wife could have left me, but she decided to give me another chance. It was hadrd for her, but we have the greatest relationship now. I admire and appreciate her for giving me another chance.

It depends on each individual case. THings that would determine whether I'd feel pity or admiration are whether the cheater is genuinely sorry, whether the cheater is talking about the reasons why he/she did it- perhaps s/he is not satisfied in his relationship for some reason; whether the cheater is willing to work on the relationship; whether s/he helps her/his partner to overcome the difficulty of coping, and to help them build new trust etc. Many things would influence how I'd judge it.

if it happens once? maybe they will reassess what they really want. but if it happens 2wice and you stick around, your a sucker that I would heavily pity.

I am not sure how to answer this one. But I guess it depends on the couple, and how they choose to deal with it, whether it be worked through it, or go their separate ways. My ex cheated for two years, and I was the last to know. When confronted he lied, then finally told the truth. I could NOT stay, because it broke my heart, my spirit and everything I ever believed in. Every time I looked at him, I saw her. Cheating is a HUGE betrayal of trust, and each individual deals with it differently, but I would NEVER go through that again with anyone.

And why exactly can I not feel both? Last I checked the two were not mutually excusive. I would admire them for having the love and forgiveness in their heart to stay and give the cheater another chance. And yet at the same time I would pity their plight that they're in a situation where their partner should even *Need* a second chance, a first chance should be enough. And no one deserves to be betrayed like that by someone they love. If they can forgive them, that's their choice. And an admirable choice it is. But I pity that they should have to make it.

if the spouse has cheated only once then admiration. if it happens again and again then pity and a little disgust.

well this as happened to me and i forgave him, years and years later our relationship is good. so i feel admiration because they chose to stay and work it out rather than just giving up

i think that will inevitably fall upon each couple. there are many factors to consider. did the person confess or get caught? was it a repeat offender or a one-time deal? did the couple seek councelling or just ignore the problem and move on? but, some t.v. relationship shrink in America famously says that every individual has different 'lines' not to be crossed ... dealbreakers, or what have you. I'm only sad for them if they stay with them because they're afraid to be alone or have no self-esteem.

A friend of ours is actually going through this situation and I admire him for trying to work it out with his wife. My husband and I both agree that if one of us cheated the divorce would follow. I have seen friends in cheating relationships and they just keep putting up with it hoping it will change. For me, that is a sad situation they should just get out of.

admiration going through the same thing not living together wish i could just forget it but i cant at the moment although he may be generally sorry and swear it will never happen again how do you believe him is it always going to be in the way of getting back together if you can generally forgive than good luck to you both

I feel empathy towards them. I know I wouldn't throw away a marriage because of one mistake. Continual, habitual cheating is a different matter. Then I would feel pity and a little frustration towards that person.

I dont believe that anyone should stay with someone who has cheated on them. 2 of my friends have gone through that and i thought it was stupid.

Neither. I think they have absolutely no respect for themselves. The majority of people who do that, do it out of fear of being alone. They'd rather be with someone who treats them like sh** rather then having no one.

I can't say that I feel either. It's not my life so I am quite neutral. As they say, "no one knows what goes on behind closed doors". There is forgiveness, stupidity or just thinking that they don't want to upset their lifestyle or children. Whatever they decide is fine with me, I am not gonna catch herpes.

neither. I don't know the reasons behind their decision or what they want from their marriage.

I sure do wish people would ask more questions before they cheat. I'll bet men go to 10X's more reseach to buy a car. Why then do people jump into bed with someone ruin thier relationships and sometimes their lives over someone they say meant nothing to them. What the hell is wrong with people? Before I go any further let me say I meant men AND women go 10Xs!

When I hear about someone I know who is going through this I try not to ask to many questions or make comments like "why is she staying with him" or "I can't believe he is leaving her". You never really know what someone else has to gain or lose by leaving or staying. So I guess you could say I feel neither.

Neither. I feel concern. I am concerned that the person's partner is going to do it again, which tends to be the trend. I am concerned that the spouse who cheated is going to bring home an illness. They have made their choice. They have done it for whatever reason and that reason is good enough for them. I hope that the choice is the right one. Sometimes it is, sometimes it is not.

I feel pity for the one cheated on if they leave. Nobody should have to go throught this. But if they stay I'd kind of lose that feeling. After all they're just doing it to themselves after that.

I used to believe that people who stayed with a person who had cheated on them were stupid and only asking to be hurt again. People who have never been cheated on cannot say how they would act if it happened to them. I always thought if a man cheated on me, that I would immediately leave him. That is easier said than done. It is never easy to end a relationship with somebody you love. It is even harder if you and the cheating partner have a child together. I have spent the past three years with a person who has cheated and lied to me many times. I left him six weeks ago, and as usual, once things settle down I get the urge to take him back. I always believe that people can change for the better. I think that men and women who take back a person who has cheated on them, do it because they think their partner has learned from their mistake. I have not taken my boyfriend back yet. I do not ask people to take pity on me. Most people who have been cheated on don't want people to sit around telling them what they should or shouldn't do. I don't know if anybody should openly pity or admire a person for trying to salvage a relationship simply because they might not know the entire story or what goes on when they aren't around.

I feel that I must respect their decision and mind my own business unless they ask me for advice. I do not know what process of healing, restoration, repentance, counseling, and forgiveness this couple has gone through to restore the trust in their marriage. If they are in that process, they deserve my support. If they are largely finished with it, they deserve my respect - especially the party that has been wronged. Pity is useless. If a person is constantly being victimized and violated this way and simply living in denial, my gut reaction is pity, but that is unhelpful. No one has to be a victim this way. In a broad sense, I would want to help create an atmosphere of empowerment where people know that. Boundaries and grace are not incompatible. The answer to your question depends upon many factors that are most likely unavailable to me and are not subject to public scrutiny. Infidelity is a very major, big fat hairy deal of a problem in marriage. Accountability is necessary. Forgiveness is possible. Restoration of the relationship depends on both parties working it out.

Depends. If the couple has worked it out through that issue I feel admiration for them for doing so. If the woman knows it, and doesn't do anything about it I think pity is more like it. There's nothing admirable in not standing up for yourself and playing the role of martyr in my opinion.

No

Pity for what they had to go through, and admiration to have the strength to give them another chance. Unless you can tell that the person is not genuine about being sorry, and you can tell their gooing to cheat again... then I just feel pity. I know I don't know you well, but do you mind if ask you a question through e-mail or something? My e-mails on my profile, the questions is related to this. I just think you make some pretty good descisions based on your answers.

Neither. It would be none of my business. That's a personal decision and it should only matter to the person being cheated on.

I do not have any feelings either way. Not my marriage so I stay out of it. I have my own marriage to work on.