No. I didn't choose my sexuality. It's not something I had any choice in - but it's not something I am ashamed of, either, or wish was different. My sexuality does not define who I am as a person. Rather - just like all of my other personality traits, belief's, ideals and experiences - it is simply one part of the equation that makes me who I am, as a whole. I don't think labels benefit anybody - whether that be the straight label, the bi label, or the gay label. As soon as you label something, people make automatic assumptions about who you are. "Oh, you're gay? I guess that means you have lots of unprotected, random sex with strangers and talk in a high-pitched, over-the-top voice". Or, "Oh, you're bi? Wow! I bet dating you is one hell of a ride! You're into threesomes, right? Can I watch you and another girl have sex?" Purely examples of some of the assumptions that go with particular labels, and perhaps extreme examples. Still, those misconceptions do exist, for any label we apply to any person. I think sexuality is about discovery. Most of us go through a phase where we question our sexuality, or are at least curious about sex with someone of our own gender. That's natural, and normal. LGBT people go through the same phases. In my experience, LGBT people are more sexually aware, or, at least, more aware OF their sexuality at a younger age than some straight people. People don't think it's possible for an 8 year old to know they are gay - well, I knew I was attracted to other girls at that age. It was more than curiosity, I suppose. It was simply an inner sense of knowing. I was as attracted to girls as I was to boys, and it didn't bother me. As I grew older, I put those feelings to the test and it was confirmed. That confirmation didn't change a single thing about who I was, and am, fundamentally. Just like the straight guy who has his first experience with a girl and thinks "This makes sense and feels right!", my own experiences were simply a confirmation of something I had known for a long time. Of course, this is simply my opinion, from my own experiences, and from living a bi-sexual life for the past however many years. I am who I am. I didn't choose my preferences, but I am damn proud of them, no matter how many people try to tell me they are wrong, sinful, or disgusting.

Whatever i am, i didn't choose to be at the beginning, but i could now deny myself, but that would only be lying to myself, and I choose not to. If i were faced with a choice of suddenly becoming like everybody's 'supposed' to be, or never having existed, i would choose the latter. (However thInk: that would make the world a far less beautiful & dynamic place.) Turning my back on what makes me unique/unusual would betray me to myself (unforgive-able sin in MY book) and i would be too disgusted with myself if i remembered what i was compared to what i had become to be able to live with myself. So no, but i would not want to be any other way than who/how I AM. *.;-) self-confidence is not arrogance but self-respect when it comes from knowing one's own worth to ones-self. AND i've managed to keep my admittedly unusual sense of fun & humour2!

As a bisexual, I could have quite honestly kept pretending I was straight and not had any lesbian relationships in my lifetime. Unfortunately, love can and always does get in the way of that. And why would I want to keep it inside of me? Lying to yourself is a really hard thing to do if you do it for too long, and I didn't want to do that to myself. So I accepted it, and that is how I am. End of story.

I in fact, did not choose to be bi. I am attracted to both males and females, and I don't choose who is attractive to me. My personal belief on the subject of people "choosing" to be gay: If someone "switches teams" late in life, they are not choosing to be gay. They were already gay, but suppressed those feelings in order to not be ostracized, or because those feelings had not fully developed. They may finally decide it is time to bring those feelings to fruition, and live a gay "LIFESTYLE", but did NOT in fact, choose to BE gay. There IS a difference in living a certain lifestyle, and being attracted to certain people. If you think Betty is cute, you didn't choose to like Betty, you just do. But you CAN choose to pursue a relationship with Betty if you are both interested. This goes for both gay and straight. You choose your ACTIONS, not your feelings!!

I thought I was straight for 33 years. The whole man thing never felt comfortable and there was always something missing from the relationships. I did not put 1 and 1 together until I was 33. I don't get why it took me so long. There were signs. My family is open-minded and accepting, so that wasn't the problem. I am also not the kind of person to keep any part of me to myself because I am afraid of what society, family, etc. would think. When I was in my teens and twenties, I had a few small crushes on women. The crushes lasted only a couple of weeks and were on good friends or co-workers (people you get close to). I assumed that it was natural and many people had the same experience. I was never freaked out about it and never thought to ask anyone if they went through the same thing. At 33, I had a major crush on a professor I had. It lasted more than the few weeks my other female crushes lasted (2 years!). Once that happened, a lightbulb went on in my head. It felt very much like I was where I was always supposed to be, only no one told me until then. Now I KNOW I am gay and always have been. It just has been hiding from me for whatever reason. I have a great 16 yr old son, so I am OK with it taking as long as it did. I did not choose this. It chose me. I feel happier and more complete. It was the missing puzzle piece. When I am with a woman, things click into place. Nothing clicked into place when I was with men. I don't hate men, I just don't date them now. I do think it is odd that when I thought I was straight, men did not want to have anything to do with me. Now that I know I am gay, men have been coming out of the woodwork to ask me out. I am even less feminine looking now than when I thought I was straight. I don't have the look most men go for. I don't get it. Whatever. I'm much happier now.

I didn't choose to be attracted to other Lesbian Women, but I did choose to become honest about who I am and where my heart is. I was attracted to my best (female) friend at age 13. I just didn't understand WHY I felt what I did, or what it meant! I continued to have attractions for women, Lesbian women specifically...as I got older, but figured I must be straight since I did like guys, and had the same boyfriend from age 16 until we married at (my) age of 20. Of course, it did sort of pose some questions I couldn't answer that I would have fantasies about women, again Lesbian women...not just some straight woman I knew at work or saw on the street. Lived with a guy for 4 years after I left my husband...and had more fantasies...and a couple of crushes on specific Lesbian women...hmmmm sure seemed like a trend to me....duh lets be honest shall we... And so I was, and did and am...the CHOICE was to be honest...and it's a good thing!

I didn't choose to be gay any more than I chose to be inteligent, have a certain degree of musical talent, be interested in helping other people, or any of the other numerous characteristics which contribute to making the total "Me." Some people realize they are sexually, "Different," as early as 8 years old. I didn't come to such knowledge about myself until I was about 13. That knowledge came to the full measure of my consciousness through a chance sexual encounter with a male friend of mine, which I totally enjoyed. I then came slowly to the awareness that I was attracted to guys, not girls. Like far too many people, I spent too many years denying this knowledge about myself. But, over time, I have come totally out and honest with both myself and others. Today I know my sexual orientation is just one part of me. I didn't choose it. It was always just there. I'm just as proud of and content with my sexuality as I am of all my other attributes.

Quite frankly, I fought it and resisted it and tried to negotiate it away - it was never a choice to be gay, only a choice to accept it... and in my life, it ranks as one of the toughest choices I've ever made. With hindsight, to accept was obviously the correct choice. It's one of the few I've never needed to second-guess... (happily married gay man - 16 years)

I can't swear to happiness, but I can say they *appear* content...

i know this might be a bit off topic.I was sexually abused when i was 16 and apart from the 3 months when i was in love with my girlfriend i haven't been happy ever since.I'm now 20.I'm deeply confused about my sexuality and i feel like i'm stuck in a yo-yo.I always lusted over girls at school but there was times when i did question it and i would think wow hes good looking.Now i sometimes see attractive men and feel drawn to them but i am still attracted to women and say i see a girl with a nice bum (like the one at work) i feel like having sex with her.Maybe I'm scared to feel this way about men.I don't beleive you can choose but i sometimes wish you could,it would be so much easier.I am trying to be honest with myself because I'm sick of how unhappy this is making me.Has anyone had similiar experiences to this?Or am i messed up in the head?

Usually my response to this is "Yes, I signed up gay the same day you signed the Straight Contract." But to be blunt and completely honest, no. There's a whole lot of psychological lingo and whatever that can modify and twist the responses, but for myself, I had no decision; there was none, rather. And if I had a choice to be straight from now on, I wouldn't take it. Same thing if I was straight and now had the choice to be gay. I am myself.

I am bisexual. My sexuality developed bisexually, not straight or gay. It was not a choice. I firmly believe that sexuality is nature, not nurture. Certainly nurture can cause a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender to suppress their true sexuality, but it is NOT a choice. Nobody I can find can offer proof that it is a choice, however, there IS strong evidence that it is biological. Last I heard it is still being researched but, if I remember correctly, studies on gay men show a difference in the brain itself. I have to look up current standing of this research. Now I am curious. Some people say that we are all born bisexual. I do not concur.

Absolutely NOT! I tried for years to hide who I was. I tried to pray it away, when that didn't work I went the complete opposite direction and tried having multiple male sex partners thinking pure exposure to "straight" sex would "cure" me. When that didn't work, I thought just settling down, getting married and having a family would finally put my attractions to other females to rest. Nope...still gay!

For me there was no choice...I was simply born a lesbian. The short answer is, I just haven't ever found anything that makes men attractive for me...yet I look at a girl and all sorts of feelings and emotions happen.

I can remember becoming sexually aroused in a public pool locker room when I was about 8 or 9 years old. At this age, I had been exposed to both male and female bodies and didn't get aroused when seeing naked women. When I was a teenager, there was another boy who seemed infatuated with me and kissed me on the cheeks and lips and even "came out" to me and his brother. I didn't react very well and being that I had begun to deny myself, I told him that was gross. Later, he was sent of to a boys camp (got caught doing graffiti) and I missed him terribly... So I admitted it to myself and him. Ironically, he then denied ever having had feelings for me and still claims to be straight to this day (I suppose I'll never really know). Point is that I didn't choose my feelings for boys/men. I knew at a very early age.

I definately did not choose to be lesbian/bi. I used to think that I was straight, but then I just fell for this girl. It was confusing, and at first I was like "No, I dont want to like girls!" But I realized that there was no way I could go on being happy if I forced myself to like guys, when I knew I liked her. I didnt choose to fall in love with her, it just happend. But I'm SO GLAD IT DID!! :)

no, absolutely not. I didn't choose to be lesbian any more than a straight person chooses to be straight. I have always been attracted only to women, never to men. have only had relationships with women. and I certainly fit no stereotypes for any of the reasons people claim "turn" us gay. I was raised by straight parents. I was never raped/molested/abused. I don't hate men (I have lots of male friends), I'm just no physically attracted to them. I never knew anyone gay until long after I realized I was (so, I was not "influenced" or "recruited).

As a bisexual, I could have just ignored the fact that I was bisexual instead of labelling myself as such. But I feel I sorta need to stand up for myself. Not through the label but, well, I'm not sure how to explain. I just know that I couldn't quite identify as straight. I'm bisexual, or pan-sexual, or something. I chose the label, but I did not choose the feelings.

I fought it for 42 years. I went through the whole married to a woman and having kids thing. I was never really comfortable having sex with my wife. Eventually, I couldn't fight it any longer. If it was such a choice, then why did I have to fight it for so long. It was never a choice, it's just what I am. Once I came out, I didn't know that my life could feel so much more complete. I had fought for so long, that I thought that this was the way life was supposed to feel. I learned otherwise. Most of my family knows, and they haven't spoken to me since they found out. Their loss. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship and my life actually feels right for the first time in my life.

Hi, i had no choice in the matter, was born gay, and to be honest with you am real happy

No, I did not. I chose to be honest with myself and others about who I happen to be sexually attracted to. Scientific researchers who specialize in human sexuality have shown that homosexuality is linked to biology and genetics. An October 2004 scientific research publication stated that scientists at the University of Padua have found that women tend to have more children when they inherit the same genetic factors linked to homosexuality in men. This fertility boost more than compensates for the lack of offspring fathered by gay men, and keeps the “gay” genetic factors in circulation. Another scientific study said that researchers have known for years that a man's likelihood of being gay rises with the number of older biological brothers, but the new study found that the so-called "fraternal birth order effect" persists even if gay men were raised away from their biological families. Anthony F. Bogaert, Ph.D., professor at Brock University, said "The research suggests that the development of sexual orientation is influenced before birth." The older-brother effect was constant regardless of whether the men were raised with natural, adopted or stepbrothers. It also didn't matter if they weren't raised with their biological mothers. If gay younger brothers and older brothers don't have the same home environments, what do they have in common? "They shared the same uterus, the same womb, the same mother," Bogaert said. http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn6519 http://www.medpagetoday.com/OBGYN/Pregnancy/tb/3641

NO, It was a struggle to accept it..including an attempted suicide...I couldn't face who/what I really was.

nope it's a sexuality within that you can't choose. btw i remember you from Yahoo Answers and i am sorry that they deleted your account. mine was deleted too because trolls were stalking me (even though my Q and A's were private

Hi, no it was not a choice, it is just the way i am,

my homosexuality has been with me since my first memories, tho I couldnt put a name to my feelings till about 12yo. I dated women, and was miserable(no offense ladies, Im just not attracted). I've always found guys hot. When I was a christian, of course the whole going to hell, and crap ran through my mind, but I wised up, and thought, well if I continued relations with women, Id be lying to myself, the women I was dating, and my friends , and lying(according to bible) is hell worthy trait, and so was being gay, so I said fuck it. I am a gay atheist, Im never more content.

No i didnt , it was very hard as a teenager to understand my feelings and although im very happy now and content in who i am, why would you choose to be confused, alone, and frightend of being rejected by everyone you know and love?

Yes, I gladly chose to feel trapped in the body of the wrong gender and to be endlessly ridicules and talked down to because of it. God... I hate people who say its a choice...

Nope, it chose me. I kinda found myself falling for someone without even realising it x

I did not choose to be gay. Up until about age 15-16 I thought I was asexual, then I started becoming attracted to guys. I've never been attracted to girls, and I actually believe girls in general are unattractive. I simply don't have the ability to say "A straight guy would/would not be attracted to this girl." I can't tell. I also believe in the Kinsey scale, though I'm clearly a 6, or at least between 5 and 6.

im gay, i didnt chose, its annoying, i wish i wasn't....