ANSWERS: 40
  • "The safty word is Bannana" or "Chris, finish up and then come out from behind the sofa"
  • Peter Griffin sing "U Can't Touch Me" Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me.
  • Brian: "You're drunk." Stewie: "And you're sexy." So simple but I love that line. That or, "Where's my money Brian. Give me my money Brian."
  • Giggty Giggty Goo all right
  • At Meg's slumber party: Lois: Chris come out from behind the sofa Chris: I can't Lois: Finish up at come out from behind the sofa.
  • The safe word is banana
  • ­The parody of the ONDCP commercial.
  • "Hi, I'm the family guy!" hahahaha...cracks me up every time!!!
  • Stewie ask a hooker if there is any tread left on her tires or if it would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
  • That's it! If I'm drunk, I'll be calm. If I'm calm, I'll be nice. If I'm nice, I won't go to hell! Fix me a highball, I'm going to get good and tight!
  • damn you, damn broccoli, and damn the wright brothers.
  • When Meg and Peter are in the backseat, and Peter is dressed as a hooker, and Stewie says: "Eerie, isn't it? Like looking into the future."
  • lady talking to peter after he steals someones cupcake, Lady: ill be keeping an eye on you, whats your name? Peter: oh my name, oh pea........... tear........ oh.... griffen, yea peter griffin, oh crap. lol cracks we up every time (:
  • Stewie : 'Here's my impression of every Vince Vaughn movie. Oh, I'm incapable of loving anyone. Oh wait, I'm not.'
  • anything with Ollie Williams the weatherman
  • Peter Griffin: Oh, that was fantastic. Hey, where’d you get that tattoo on your lower back? Lois Griffin: I don’t know, Peter. Meth is a hell of a drug. Peter Griffin: What?
  • That's You...Brian
  • (Peter is trying to potty train Stewie) Peter: C'mon Stewie, don't you want to pee in the toilet like a big boy? Stewie: Well, perhaps I could give it the old college try. Would you put your hands there on the toilet seat, it'll help me relax. Peter: OK. (Slams toilet seat down on Peter's fingers.) AAAHHHHHH!!!! Stewie: Listen you, I'll use these facilities when I'm DAMN WELL READY!!!! Until then you shall continue to sanitize my crevice and be DAMN GRATFEUL FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!! Starting right . . .hmmp. . . hmmmp. . . . .hmmmmmp well then, not now, BUT SOON! (Walks off.) i had to search to get it right... when i found it i remembers just how absolutely hilarious it is!
  • Stewie saying goodbye to Olivia "Well I would love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch." then he just gets in the car and leaves, lol too classic!
  • "Ya okay? You want some McDonalds? You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes? Okay, let's take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes...."
  • Mine: Stewart Gilligan Griffin aka "Stewie"...who said; "Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that." My husband's: "They better not be using my crayons, mixin' 'em all up" (you actually have to hear Stewie say it to really appreciate the hilarity.)
  • Memorable Stewie rant: "Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sack tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love Mr. Plow! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!"
  • old lady: i bet u'd like a cookie stewie: and i bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull!
  • My favorite isn't really a quote; it's a song. "This place is paradise." "Sure is, except for Randy Newman." "Randy Newman?" "Yup. Justs sits there all night and day singing about what he sees." "Fat man with his kids and dog, drove in through the morning fog. Hey there Rover, come one over.." "Well, it's always nice to have music." "Red headed Lady reaching for an apple, gonna take a bite, nope nope, shes gonna breathe on it first, wipe it on her blouse... She takes a bite, chews it once, twice, three times, four times, stops...saliva working takes a long hard look and randy, five times, fat ol' husband waling over." "Let's get the hell outta here." "They're walking down the road, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left.." (hit in the head with an apple.
  • I bought the crack from Blacks,yea a guy in a alley behind Blacks.Peter.I mite of messed it up a little but it was said some thing like that.I love family guy,it is the funniest cartoon of all time.
  • My favorite one was when Stewie said "did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over" hahahah i absolutely love Stewie. his dark humor is hilarious! how about you?
  • I haven't seen much of family guy but I like a scene where the guy runs over the roadrunner and starts asking coyote if he had just hit an ostrich. I couldn't stop laguhing the first time I saw that =P
  • I love the episode where Peter says " Lois may be worth a million to you, but to me, she's worthless" instead of pricless, ha ha. I also love it when Quagmire keeps asking people "Does this look like a Q to you?", lol. XD I love Family Guy.
  • "Hello, China? I think I have something you may want, but it's gonna cost you.... that's right, all the tea"
  • Ouch! for 2 minutes.
  • Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.) I woke several hours later in a daze."
  • "Having sex makes straight people gay and turns gays into Mexicans. Everyone goes down a notch." ~ Peter Griffin
  • Get your little piggly ass over here- The old man. Herbert.
  • So, is there any tread on the tires, or is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway? ... Stewie talking to a prostitute.
  • Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Momma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Momma!
  • Peter says "Don't worry. Cats have 9 lives. 8....7....6...5....4..."
  • Brian, quit licking your crotch and bury your bone!
  • [Lois]:(to Peter)Your drunk again...[Peter]:Naw...I'm just exhausted, cause I've been up all night drinkin'.
  • Peter - "chris come over here, Notice how the water suddenly got warmer?" Chris - "no?" Peter - "oh wait that only happens when you PEE in water"

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