You were right about the chastisement. They're just not aware of the responsibilities of their actions. Using the belt may have been a little bit much. Then again; if I were that age and it happened to me, I may think twice about doing it again.

What lessons did your son learn? He has learned that violence is the way to behave toward your loved ones. That and he has learned to be more careful where he does his love making. So, did you do right? No! Better to have insured that they had protection. Now, how are you going to behave toward your son? Everything the same as before. You've burned a bridge here. A man more wise than I once said: "Lessons learned are like bridges burned, you only have to cross them but once..." My opinion: Violence is never the answer.

Not if you want to have him respect you and look up to you. So, he was doing waht comes naturally and in the UK it would be legal - face up to the fact that it happens and beating him for it is not going to stop that. The best thing you could have done was sent her home and then advised him on safe sex!

i think that you might of taken it a bit too far, but then again i dont know where your coming from that you felt that upset that you wooped his ass. i mean im not a parent im just a sixteen yr old girl, but i htink you should try to talk to him. i mean as long as you talked to your son why u did it, and theres an open communication between you him, not just him and you with the belt then things should be fine. but just try to lay of the belt stuff..

Absolutely. If they have to have their embraces, let it happen somewhere else, not your home. Its your house and your rules. If it takes busting his ass to get his attention, then go for it. I will make your bail bond.

Well, down south we do not feel its going to hurt some 16 yr old's ass to get swatted at a time or two for doing something disrespectful in your own home. I am not sure how hard you did it and I hope not too hard, but more kids need to learn respect. Too many kids are let go to do whatever they want and punishment is taking their cell phone away for a day.

Let me understand, your 16 year-old son was acting as a perfectly normal male animal of that age and you decided his conduct deserved punishment. I'm curious how you felt whipping him was going to change his biological urges and just what was the lesson you were trying to teach by violence? There are times when violence can teach a lesson but very few times. How old were you when you had a physical experience with a girl? At the time of your experience did you feel what you were doing would justify a belt-beating? It certainly sounds like your method of teaching your son lessons is to beat him. Have you ever asked him what kind of lessons he is learning from being beaten?

If he had willfully disobeyed the guidelines you had set for your house or for his behaviour it was not wrong. But if you did it just because you could not think of anything else to do it was not right.

No you were wrong.All 16 year old boys think about is p**sy.do you think an ass wipping is going to stop that?Well no it won't he will just find another place to do it.Ground him or take away his car or whatever for skipping school,don't punish him for wanting to get laid,talk to him about protecting himself and her,buy him some rubbers,and realise he is going to do it with or without your approval.

NO! That was awful. He needs to respect you not be affraid of you. You need to talk to him, please don't hurt him anymore.

I'd try teaching him about safe sex. You do realize that beating the ever-loving shit out of him probably isn't going to stop him from experimenting with sex? If he is a good student and a smart kid, as you say he is, at least be sure he knows how to not knock the girl up, because chances are, this isn't the last time he will be trying to have sex.

You were right -- as long as your goal was to subject your son to a life of SM (sado-masichism) !

4 min!!! thats a bit long don't you think.

I have no clue what I would do in that situation, but I wouldn't wip my son. maybe I would say "you better be having safe sex". Then I would maybe send the girl home. Then I would give my son a talk and probably tell him not to have sex in the house when I'm around. Or you could tell him not to have sex at all.

A good father would have bought them some condoms and booze.

Not at all. You were very wrong. you've done some horrible parenting but this late in the game I'm sure you can't fix it. I feel sorry for your son.

While I don't agree with hitting children, I do agree that forbidding sexual activity by your children is responsible. They need to be educated "about" it, and taught to abstain "from" it until they are adults -- hopefully married adults.

You taught him the wrong lesson. 25 years from now when you haven't heard from him in 20 years it may finally dawn on you that he hates you and wants nothing to do with you. My guess is that he will never share anything with you again.

You were really spanking yourself for the mistake you made at 17 , and how things went in your life thereafter. He's not you!!

ok sex is natural and fun. getting whipped is not. not going up to your room and locking the doors while having sex is stupid but for gods sake there teens let them have some fun, sure doing it in the living room is not very smart but its not like u didn't do anything dumb. and hitting someone like that can get you in jail. if i was your son i would have punched u in the face. and C'mon, seriously? why would anyone do that?

I'm surprised you haven't already been arrested for child abuse.

no you were not. he is 16 and he expierncing harmonal changes. Whippping him is not going to work, you should have sat down with both of them and talked to them about sex and tell them either to wait or get on birth control because you will not be able to stop them from having sexual activites!

You don't need to beat him you need to teach him about the proper use of a condom and take him to church.

Aggression is not going to prevent them having sex ... It will simply cause a gap within your friendship and mean they will have sex somwhere else, perhaps in an unsafe environment ... You were wrong.

I woulda gone for five minutes. . no but really, I'm 16 and if that happened to me I'd would hate my father. In fact I probably woulda decked him straight in the jaw and probably give him a shiner

Isn't 16 a little 'old' for an ass whipping? And extreme? You taught him sex = violence. How about next time you not let your anger manifest itself in violence? A voice, full of logic and reason, would have done a lot more for him.

Of course you were wrong. Physically abusing your child is a horrible thing to do, regardless of what they have don. What he was doing was natural anyway, it's not like he killed a child. You should have just sent her home (she's going to be embarrassed enough) and then sat down and talked to the boy. If you're not comfortable with him having sex yet then let him know, and tell him that if he is going to ignore you (which he probably will) then make sure he wears a condom. What you did will not only make him resent you, but means that now he can't talk to you about this stuff. He can't trust you not to fly off the handle. Now anything he asks will be answered by some inexperienced idiot friend who pretends to know about it. So now he might not know what he should be doing, and he's more likely to end up getting the girl pregnant or something. He is definitely going to ignore you now too. Even if he was having second thoughts before, he'll definitely go and have sex now partly just as an act of defiance.

That is abuse. A 16 year old is too old for corporal punishment. Shame on YOU. You don't want him naked with girls in your house....but have provided an opportunity by not being home!!

You may have just ruined your son's sexual drive for the next 20 years. Way to go.

Honestly, I don't think it helped any. It's not going to change his Hormones and the way he feels. It may even cause him to rebel even worse. Parents don't always understand that punishment doesn't always change things. Talking about things and LISTENING to your kids change the way they act. Whipping your children makes it harder for them to WANT a closer bond with parents.

I think you shouldnt have whipped him u should have sat them both down and talked. Just tell him u want him to wait to have sex.

No, and I hope he files abuse charges against you.

Nope, a little late for the belt not to mention you shouldn't be using a belt.

you poor poor man, she is a nice girl?

I smell a troll... I can not imagine any parental corporal punishment even lasting a full minute without the parent being psycho... 4 minutes?

You should have also CALLED her parents to let them know what their daughter was up to .... I think you did the right thing ... I taught my boy that he wasn't to be sexually active with a female until HE had the money to support her and a baby IF she became pregnant ... He listened and later even THANKED me for setting him on the Right path ... +5

ok i don't really agree with hitting kids but I also am only 20, don't have any kids and grew up in this day and age where people think it's wrong to do anything. He is your son and how you punish him is up to you, I would never let my dad beat me for minutes at a time but he has hit me before. I'd say you have every right to be upset, every right to punish him but I'd say you may not want to whip out the belt on your teenager anymore.

I can totally understand being upset with finding your son in that position. But to beat your child (espeically with a belt) is terribly wrong. There are right and wrong ways to handle situations. Your son will never trust you now and when he needs someone to talk to it most likely won't be you. You really need to apologize to him and explain you went overboard. You need to mend this and do it quick!

you wernt right at all you complete dickhead, your boy is growing up and is sexually turned on by the female anatomy and has a common male interest in pretty girls, your teaching him nothing from whiping him, later in life wene your iold and crinckly he wont let his future children ahve anything to do with you or his wife bacause of your negative abuse and yuoll regret ever doing that to him

You're right to be mad at him regarding his actions in such young age.. but it's not wise to beat him up like that.. He's growing and there are hormones that he can't control.. You should be talking to him and his girlfriend about this rather than whipping him.. He's not a kid anymore.. Heck,even if he's still a kid,you shouldn't whip him.. Whipping is for animals and your son isn't one.. I tell you.. You son might hold a grudge for what you did.. Some children become to hate their parents because their parents beat him/her up.. You should go apologize to him right now.. He might deserted you but try to talk calmly.. Don't let your anger get the best of you this time.. I wish i could talk to your son about this.. i'd really love to help..

Abuse is not ever the answer. Sitting down and having a serious talk would of been a much more mature thing to do. It sounds like you enjoy being a bully. I'm sure you did not make any good points with your son by reacting the way you did. It's time for you to grow up and learn the proper way to handle parenting.

You should give have given him "time out" until he turns 18. I'm sure that is what most people think today. Pain is the only punishment that sinks in. That's why punks today will ask the president if he will make drugs, prostitution and non-violent crime legal. You did good, he should have known better, you beat his ass and ended his prison sentence in one night.

i'm 14 and I have had slot of experiences like your son has, to be honest, there isn't slot yu can do to stop it. He can either try things at home' or be afraid to there and then you won't even know where he is doing that. Kids don't learn with all due respect. My friends mom let's her do anything as long as she tells her mom. And she has respect for her mom because ofthat and does not do anything wrong anymore. Not sure if I helped, just my opinion.

you probably did what you did in like half a second once you saw them naked making out without giving another thought of what you were doing and it was wrong of you to do so but then again no one is a perfect parent,the first thing that i would do is ask my son for forgiveness and have a serious talk about what was going on when they were making out and what could have happened afterwards

you PHYSICALLY ASSULTED a CHILD: assault with a deadly weapon you could go to prison for that YES you were WRONG, and 100% illegal. I hope you kid called 911 on you

No you were not right what is wrong with you? they were just being teenagers. I can understand if you are upset but you should NEVER lay a finger on your child no matter what.

First off, your son is old. He's 16. Good Lord. Too old for a 'spanking' or whipping or whatever you call it. Second off, like Violet said, you physically assaulted your child. Give me your address so I can show up and whoop YOUR ass with a belt. Hell, I'd show up once a month to do it. *waits anxiously with pen and paper*

I'm 63 years old. When I was 3 the mother caught me alone in the garage exploring my body. She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me all over the neighborhood, letting everyone see my naked body. I remember every detail to this day. Do you want your son to remember this about you?

You were completely right provided: 1. You want him to hate you and resent you 2. You want him to get to your age still remembering how his dad was a tyrant 3. You want him out of the house and your life as soon as he can arrange it 4. You want him to sell his potential down the river because it'll be the dodgier 'friends' who will be ready to help him get out 5. You want him to never, ever, turn to you for help or tell you the truth about anything. If that was where you were aiming, good on you. If not, you need to force a private face to face and the first word you say had better be 'sorry'. And mean it. Otherwise he'll grow up thinking being adult means never admitting you were wrong, even if it breaks the family up. And just that one could ruin everything for him.

I've just read your bio page and you seem to be obsessed with spanking and whipping your children and brother's children. Quite a family. I'll put up $50.00 that you were abused also and now you are taking it out on your own sons for the anger you feel towards your father. Way to go. Pass on the abusive behavior. I tried to grow up under those same conditions and guess what? When she got old and sick, the neighbors took care of her. She did not instill any good feelings in me about her. There is a cycle of abuse going on in your "family" that should be stopped. I'll bet your sons will be the ones to stop it. You sure as hell aren't.

2nd Answer: i based my first answer on the face value of your question. since then, it appears your family has "other" problems and i now know this. Children follow what their parent(s)do. Your son was wrong, but you selected the wrong punishment for him. a 16 year old should be dealt with punishment that takes away or forbids something they cherish in their life. My granddaughter did practically the same thing. we were gone and suddenly returned and discovered her and a male companion inside our home. granddaughter told us they kissed and had her shirt unbuttoned. what did i do? i pointed to the front door and told the boy to hit it and he never come back. he ran. Granddaughter, age 15, received the following punishement, without the use of a belt: grounded for 30 days in her room. no entertainment for 30 days. this included her cellphone, tv, stereo. she was allowed to do her homework and thats it. also, no visitors. She is now 21 and has told me time and time again that she will never forget this punishment. she has apologized numerous times and said she deserved the 30 days. Bottomline is 16 is too old for physical punishment. if he took a swing at you, then thats a different story. You were wrong. your son may not hate you, but he was dislike you forever.

wow what a job you have done your son will hate you forever ....... so if you want to avoid this apologise to him and talk about this in peace or he will lay a plot to kill you...........hwwwwwwwwww

Are you crazy? If you do something thats stupid you risk him associating sex with violence. If I were him I would call the police.

I think this is a baloney question.

Aren't you the same fake that gave your daughter a 10 minute ass whipping with a brush a few months ago? Maybe you should eliminate the time in your question and someone may be fooled by this bs.

thats the right way to take carw of things dont feel bad.

You're an idiot.

I spank my kids, but supposedly whooping him for that long and at that age isn't right. When I spank it's a swat or two. I think it was wrong of him to bring a girl home and explore/planning on having sex, it was wrong of you to react that way. I am all for kids obeying their parents rules, such as no naked girls in the house, but a more appropriate punishment please. He is 16, and is going to want to explore his sexuality. Maybe a better way to handle it would ground him, but talk to him about safe sex, stuff like that.

NO, you suppose to talk to him him he is growing up and punishing him that way will just make him rebel more.

A vast number of AB responders are very liberal. Did you know that males frontal lobes do not fully develop until after 25! Thinking with his head is not a good idea, since brain matter is missing! Corporeal punishment backed up with attentive love is good for him. Don't give one without the other.

Here's the 1 thing I give you credit for: I'm GLAD that somebody finally didn't take the attitude that it's OK for boys to do whatever they want, but a girl is a slut if she does 1 sexual act. I thank you for that. However, your son is 16, teenagers do explore with that kind of stuff. You were too hard on him. 99.9999% of people lose their virginity eventually anywayz. Has he been to public school and been educated about STD's and pregnancy yet? If he has and he's only with 1 girl, I think you should leave it alone.

Well..from looking at your profile and this question. Are you proud of beating your kids with belts and maybe a brush (gathered from above). I understand punishing a child, I really do. But belts and shit. Come on get real. Hopefully some day you are not in for a rude awakening. Hell my mom let my sister live with her dad. He whipped her ass with just his hand and left some bruising on her. She went and told some people at school about it. She was mad at him so added in a few lies of her own about him. Child Protective Services was up his butt the next day. My sister and her younger sister were immediately removed from the home. So I am just saying be careful in what you do this isn't the 70s 80s what ever old fashion crap you are talking about. Secondly, he is 16 it is normal at that age to explore the opposite sex. Not right for him to bring her to your home to do it. But beating a kid with a belt sure isn't going to teach him. It would piss me off even more and make me more reckless. Just make sure he is educated about sex and what consequences could be. Because if he isn't doing it at your house. He will find somewhere else easily.

You whipped your 16 year old son for kissing a girl. You just made your son hate you for having an idiot father and I hope he beats your ass one day.