Garlic keeps vampires away, but alas it attracts Frenchmen. What can I use to keep both vampires and Frenchmen away?
by 
neilychops
ANSWERS: 12
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a 97 year old naked fat man
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A gun with silver bullets. :)
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deodorant
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In your case, I'd say forget the garlic and just be yourself.
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whats with you and being rascist to french people?! just show your personality and i'm sure it'll ward off any person, human or immortal.
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Body Hair.
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Offer them a hard days work. Both like to sleep a lot lazy blighters!
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I hear vampires cannot cross running water and if you toss a bottle of bubble bath in it, it should keep the Frenchmen away too.
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Sunlight will burn vampires and if its bright enough will scare frenches because they may get a tan.
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Wear your Garlic anywhere there is a threat of war.
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Garlic and a golden swastika on a chain ... you can claim 'Hindu or Buddhist' to those you know, since it was their symbol first, but tell the Frenchmen you want to keep away, that you are Nazi.
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A glow in the dark soap.
SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING 
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