Ask a Question
or
Create a Poll
  1. Home /
  2. Questions /
  3. Relationship Advice
  4. / Marriage
  5. / Cheating And Adulterous Spouse

by goosesgirl on March 31st, 2007

goosesgirl

Question

Help answer this question below.

1 more question, re: emotional affairs.... If you found out your husband was having an emotional affair with some girl at his work but actual sex between them had not occurred would you consider divorce or what would you think? Our life was great b4 this.

  • Like
  • Report
Share:
Other

Answers. 7 helpful answers below.

  • by charis on April 26th, 2007

    charis

    oh, and he has to understand that the lying has. to. stop.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Anonymous on April 13th, 2009

    Anonymous

    obviously your marriage wasnt perfect before the affair. not your fault, but i"m just saying you seem very determined to make the point that "everything was fine". turn the question back to yourself: are YOU satisfied with your marriage? if your husband is having an emotional affair, how can you be content with the relationship? stop thinking about him and his happiness, and focus on your own needs.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on April 1st, 2008

    somewhere Pll loves her dawgy

    I wouldn't rest until we had talked and talked. Even with a r/ship counsellor to get to the truth of why it happened. eg What part of himself could he 'be' in this affair, that he didn't think he express otherwise?

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by christiangal on March 28th, 2008

    christiangal

    I've been there (and may still be there), so I know exactly how you are feeling. I have known for about 4 years, and he doesn't want to talk about it either. My husband still works with the other "woman" so it makes it hard to move on...We had an awesome life b4 this, too and all our friends thought we were the perfect couple. I'm glad that our 2 teenagers hasn't found out. I don't have anyone to talk to about it, because I don't want anyone to think badly of him or me. He doesn't seem to think it's an "affair" because the relationship was never physical, which makes it all the more frustrating!

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by JUSTNORMAL on March 31st, 2007

    JUSTNORMAL

    To be honest, that would bother me more than just a fling, even though neither of them is acceptable or appropriate. Knowing he has feelings for someone else, besides you, is probably the most difficult. I would say to talk to him ASAP, he has to let this go, or it will ruin your marriage. The decision is his, but you have to find a way to either accept it, ignore it, or face it head on, and remember HE is the one putting your marriage on the line. But obviously something has to change and quick

    2 comments | Post one | Permalink

  • by charis on April 26th, 2007

    charis

    if i were in your situation, i would seek counseling. emotional infidelity is the precursor (in most cases) to sexual infidelity. but the fact that he stayed shows that he is willing to push though the problem.

    what *should* happen, however, is counseling, and lots of it. he needs to admit his wrong, but truthfully, you probably have areas that need work as well. it's not just his fault, in fact, throwing blame around is counterproductive, kwim?

    you two need to take as many necessary steps to make your marriage into what it used to be.. including rearranging schedules, if necessary, to be able to spend time with each other. men are in just as much need of emotional intimacy as women are, and if they don't find it at home, sometimes they'll stumble into it elsewhere and be sucked in. it's not usually a deliberate thing, and most of us end up in emotional 'affairs' before we realize what happened.

    your husband also needs to realize that talking about the past helps us learn and face the future. it's not helpful to just simply cut off an illicit relationship.. one has to know why he got into that relationship in the first place and you need to know what you need to do to change and prevent another occurence of the same.

    hope this helps. there is still hope for your marriage, and i wish you the best and many happy years together.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by myluv on April 6th, 2011

    myluv

    The reason why you are conflicted is because you have not forgiven him just yet. I understand your situation as I am also in the same boat when he could not give up the other woman. But, when I saw signs of him working on ending his affair, I slowly was able to convince myself to forgive. In the process, I felt the load became lighter and it became easier for me to deal with him again. Though not totally back, I can see a clearer future that we can be back the way we were. You have to empathize to allow yourself to forgive. Put yourself in his situation so you may understand and be able to empathize and forgive. When he sees your change, he will sense that you've put down your barrier. He will then be not afraid to talk about it and may open up. When you are no longer left in the dark, you will feel secured. 'Hope this helps. I learned forgiveness in Retrouvaille. I suggest you look into that in your area and convince your spouse to attend with you. It will expedite your process of reconciliation.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

Want to attach an image to your answer? Click here.

Did this answer your question? If not, then ask a new question or create a poll.

More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading 1 more question, re: emotional affairs.... If you found out your husband was having an emotional affair with some girl at his work but actual sex between them had not occurred would you consider divorce or what would you think? Our life was great b4 this.

Follow us on Facebook!

Related Ads

Related Questions

Professionally Researched

ANSWERBAG BUZZ

Adultery emotional affair questions
If husband is satisfied in sex even he would have any affair
What to do after you found out that your husband had a emitional affair
Ignoring husband affair will help marriage
Emotional affair and wants divorce

Answerbag

a Demand Media company