You aren't providing much information. . If they are literaly and provably threats and you are concerned they might be carried out, talk to a lwayer to see what is needed to get a restraingn order.

my (soon to be) ex wife ran away with her third Xboxlive BoyFriend in june. he has done nothing but cuss me out and hang up on me. she claims to have not lied to him (she is pathological) about me but clearly she has made up claims of violence. he is certain I have abused her and has made a verbal threat he is not likely to follow through with because they live 1500 miles away. however he flew from kentucky to seattle to pick up her up at a time when she was supposidly not his girlfriend on a moments notice so he might travel for the heck of it. what would have been the better way to handle it? inform him that assaulting me would result in injuries to himself as well hoping the increased risk to his wellbeing reduces his likelyhood of doing it? or point out that assaulting me would result in him going to jail and no longer having the ability to take care of her causing him to continue to underestimate my fighting ability?

I knew this wonderful girl who had an ex-husband who did what you describe in your question. Every time he telephoned and threatened her, she secretly tape-recorded every word. She then made copies of the tapes and sent them by CERTIFIED MAIL to the following people: Her state's Attorney General Her county Prosecutor (Distict Attorney) Her local Police Dept. The Federal Bureau of Investigation Her local telephone company Her ex-husband's employer Her ex-husband's parents and siblings Her & her ex-husband's children Her next-door neighbors Her attorney Every TV and radio station newsroom in her town The Newspapers ALL of their mutual friends Included with those tapes was a recent color photograph of him, a color photograph of his car, a written transcript of ALL of her taped telephone conversations with the scumbag (complete with the time and date noted for each call), and a letter similar to this one: "Dear [Name], "I'm sending you all of the enclosed information because I live in constant fear of my life and those of my children, due to my ex-husband's tape-recorded threats made against me. The proof is on the enclosed tapes, and a written transcript of each conversation is included. "Please carefully examine the evidence at your leisure, and if you are able to assist me in any way, I'd be very grateful for whatever help you can offer me. "Should I suddenly be reported as "missing," or my corpse is discovered somewhere (as the result of "foul play") I want it understood that I would never commit suicide, and that my death was caused by my ex-husband (photo enclosed) or someone whom he paid to murder me. "Thank you for whatever you can do for me. I don't wish to die in the near future." Within a few days after those packages were mailed out, she got a letter from her husband's attorney, promising that he would never contact her directly, ever again. The "point" of my answer is that the MORE folks who know about the douchebag jackal vomit, the less likely it will be that he will do anything, simply because he would be the very FIRST person suspected by the authorities. In another situation of which I have first-hand knowledge, a woman attended a lawyer's convention (her ex-husband was a lawyer). At that convention (which was attended by her ex-husband) she passed out 9" X 12" envelopes to many of the FEMALE lawyers in attendance. Inside each envelope was a color photograph of her ex-husband, color photographs made of her bruised and swollen face at a hospital emergency room, and copies of the police reports that were filed when her ex-husband was arrested for domestic abuse. A letter very similar to the one shown above, was also enclosed, saying, "If this guy asks you for a date or otherwise puts the moves on you, your face could end up looking just like mine." Some of the female attorneys at that convention gave her their business cards and said, "If he continues to bother you, give me a call." Some of them also added, "I'll be very happy to help you, pro-bono." Is the above information "detailed" enough for you? I hope so. +5

Hmmmm... I'm going to make an assumption here that there are no children involved in this. I don't remember for sure from other postings, so correct me on this one. On the subject of recording phone conversations: doing this without the knowledge of the other party may result in this being inadmissable in court. Unless there is a court order authorizing this...typically something done by law enforcement, not the private citizen. Now, I know that some things CAN be used in court, under certain circumstances, perhaps even off the record. But I don't know. The best way to ensure this is to capture the information that you are recording the conversation in the same recording...but then he's not likely to open his mouth. You decide here. Now, the actual confrontations: If they are in person, witneses are a must. If they are at your house, it'd be REALLY cool if you caught it on video...recordings of things in your own house may be easier to get into the courts. You need to think about WHAT you want to say and HOW you want to say it BEFORE any confrontation occurs. This is to keep you level headed and with a plan. The goal is to let him know where you and your (soon to be) ex stand. Essentially, you want to tell him that you and she are through, you're getting a divorce (will be final when...), and afterwards, you want nothing to do with her, her activities, or anyone whe wants to associate with. And if you do have to deal with him in person, you do so with projected confidence and control. If he's after a confrontation, then he's gonna try to side tract you onto something else...how you were abusive towards her, threats that if you ever (fill in the blank) then he'll (fill in the blank), and so forth. Again, you need to think about what to say when this happens. I'd handle it something like this: "You can think and believe whatever you wish. The fact of the matter is that she and I are getting a divorce and we're not going to have anything to do with each other from then on. You two can do whatever you wish together, it doesn't matter to me." If you start denying whatever he says, then he will escalate it. If you make threats (or counter-threats) then he will escalate it. He is LOOKING to force your hand. Phone conversations you can handle a couple of ways: Take control (confident/in control) of the conversation, make your point, and do it in a SHORT amount of time. Pretty much like I said above. Then end the call. And write down all the details as accurately as you can, the date, time, subjects discussed, how you ended the call, and if you have caller ID, include that as well. Since you HAVE had a threat, start with your attorney. Let him know what's going on. Let the police know. File a report with the police, giving names, times, and so forth. The police may NOT be able to do anything unless they catch him redhanded making threats. But the fact that a police report exists is something you can point out to him in your favor, because if anything happens to YOU, then the police know where to start. So, if he pushes the issue, you can start pointing out things to him: You have kept your attorney invormed about him and his activities. You have filed a police report on his abusive threats. You are keeping track of every time he contacts you in any way, including date and time of telephone calls (including caller ID information). And then repeat the part where you're getting a divorce and the two of you will never see each other again. You will be informing him that a LOT of other people know about him and his behavior and that the best outcome is for him to back off and let the divorce be finalized so she and you can permanently part ways. And you're also letting him know, without actually telling him, that if anything happens to you, he will be suspect number one on a very short list. Keep these things in mind as well: 1. ASK the police what you can do to mitigate the possibility of violence. Don't bring up weapons and such. What you want to do is find out from them the best way, in their experience, to prevent problems. 2. ASK your attorney what you can do, also. Again, the goal is to PREVENT problems. 3. Violence, despite all your actions, may STILL occur. Be prepared in whatever way you think necessary (talk with your attorney on this). Just remember: deadly force is serious business. DON'T play around with threats about it. More than likely, what will happen is you'll get the divorce, which will cut all the strings, and you'll never hear from this guy again. Especially if she's across the country.