Of course you can. It sounds like you need to decide what you want and not worry about what the rest of the world will think of you. Do you have a job, means of taking care of yourself, etc? You may want to seek the advice of a counselor or legal advisor regarding alimony, custody and/or legal separation.

Yes, honey take those kids and go. Most states WILL NOT take children away from their mother unless she is unfit. If you can't take your kids, i don't know what to tell you. I couldn't leave mine. Do you have parents? I suggest that if you want custody of your children do NOT leave without them unless he is abusive, in which case call the police and they can put you AND YOUR BOYS in a safe house. There is NO reason to put up with someone who hurts you, and if he is cheating and can't be faithful OR/AND hits you or your kids, he does NOT love any of you. Don't be fooled by his lies. He says that because he doesn't want you to rock the boat.

YOu should not take your kids with you. Many women make this mistake... 1- They are so hung up on custody issues that they forget the real picture in the real world - you need money to survive...do you want your 4 boys to live in poverty? 2. Live your life and hang onto the rights you are entitled to - file a divorce and make a settlement in the court of law where you will be protected and be given a deal to financial arrangements. 3. Don't just take your children and leave - that's not the best way to handle this.

Auntie 'Em's answer is typical of women who think of themselves first, children second, and the man who was once loved last. "The father will be ORDERED", "half the marital assets" that (usually) he earned by his sweat and toil and brains; get her "mitts"; "fight"... These are all hostile and angry words. Fighting words. They do not move towards conciliation or reconciliation, instead they cause more anger, more bitterness, and children who become tools in the hands of the woman. I have seen it too many times, divorced women who use their children to hurt, and manipulate their ex-husbands. Women are about as helpless as thugs in the street mugging a man because he's wearing a good suit. We need honest equity in the courts--and lawyers who pledge not to drive larger wedges between spouses in dispute. We also need friends who do not take sides except for the childrens' side.

This man maybe exposing you to sexual diseases that can stick with you for the rest of your life, or shorten your life by killing you. It is unlikely he will stop, because he has proven that this is a chronic habit according to your post. IF he is a "good father" not abusive, I would follow Auntie Em's suggestions...become INFORMED as to what your options are. Information is POWER, and allows us to make intelligent, practical decisions that are not based upon emotional upset. I could never leave my children, but I would also never put up with this type of emotional abuse...and being put at risk for disease.

There's always a reason for cheating--but I am not justifying it. I have always held that men (and women) are not made for monogamy. It just doesn't work. The issues between this woman and her husband extend further than unfaithfulness. As far a snap judgements are concerned--if I slept on most questions I'd come up with a better written version of my "snap judgement" answer.

I would say that a marriage counselor is called for here. The husband alleges love but he also needs other women. I would start from there with the intention of bringing this marriage back to health. I do not consider unfaithfulness a marker of a bad union, per se. It might be, but on the other hand, many people have made the point here and elsewhere, that humans are not made for one partner over a lifetime.

xc

AuntieEm. Have you looked at the questions this woman Dokimwa has asked recently??? Why don't you look at them and you tell me if this is a woman who is thinking with her head screwed on right!!!!

If your husband is a constant cheater then he isn't a good father. He isn't a good role model. He isn't around for the kids mentally. He's elsewhere. You must leave and take those kids out of that environment. I hae a friend who had 4 children and she took the 3 littles ones with her. The oldest refused to leave dad and suffered for years under his care. She had nowhere to go but go she did, fled to another state using all the money she had for bus fare. She got help from a shelter in a big city. She never had to give up her kids. She is now remarried to a wonderful man and has ALL of her children with her now. She is trying to undo the damage her ex did to the boy who insisted on staying. It was veryhard for her. And she didin't even know how to drive. But she did it, with limited education and 'balls' because she loved her kids and herself enough to get out of a horrible situation. She is my hero!

You can leave your husband, but I would be very careful if I were you. Undercover seek help. Do you have a job? Know that you are very capable of making it on your own with your children. Get help from family members as well. I am a single mother. I left my husband after being married for over 5 years, because he was abusive and yes he cheated on me once to my knowledge. I moved to the state of Oregon with my 2 children and stayed with my Aunt and Uncle for about 1 month and a half. I looked for a job as soon as possible. I don't have a college degree or anything but I knew I could do it with the encouragement of others. I have been working in security since I've been here. It was my first time supporting me and my children on my own; I never thought I could do it, but my kids give me the strength. 5 years have past. You can do it. It is in your power. And I don't give myself the credit alone, it was God who gave me the strength to carry on. Without Him I wouldn't be where I am today. I have a good church home, and I met a wonderful man a couple years ago. There is hope.

Have you and your husband went through counseling? Divorce should always be the last resort. You can leave your husband, but I would be very careful if I were you. Undercover seek help. Do you have a job? Know that you are very capable of making it on your own with your children. Get help from family members as well. I am a single mother. I left my husband after being married for over 5 years, because he was abusive and yes he cheated on me once to my knowledge. I moved to the state of Oregon with my 2 children and stayed with my Aunt and Uncle for about 1 month and a half. I looked for a job as soon as possible. I don't have a college degree or anything but I knew I could do it with the encouragement of others. I have been working in security since I've been here. It was my first time supporting me and my children on my own; I never thought I could do it, but my kids give me the strength. 5 years have past. You can do it. It is in your power. And I don't give myself the credit alone, it was God who gave me the strength to carry on. Without Him I wouldn't be where I am today. I have a good church home, and I met a wonderful man a couple years ago. There is hope.

I WISH TO ADD MY 2-CENTS ON THIS MESSAGE POST. I'VE ALREADY SUBMITTED AN ANSWER AND NUMEROUS COMMENTS. I'VE LOOKED AT YOUR QUESTION HISTORY AND YOU F*ING ARE SO DUMB. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR QUESTION HISTORY AND TELL ME WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BE POSTING THIS QUESTION UP HERE AND GETTING SYMPATHY? MY GOODNESS. PEOPLE LIKE YOU DISGUST ME. WHAT'S A QUESTION YOU ASKED? LET ME GIVE YOU A SAMPLE - Question: Avatar I have been sleeping with my sister's husband who has 4 kids boys.Bad luck i found him in bed with another lady.sis stay at rural area should i tell her.coz the guy is trying to apologise 2 me. I was sleeping with him 2 prevent him from cheating on my sis By dokimwa Asked Mar 8 2007 2:22AM ?????????? YOU READ MY ANSWER BEFORE THIS ONE. YOU'RE PATHETIC AND STUPID.

I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH,, BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AND LEAVE HIM, IT WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN, YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND HIM CHEATING ON YOU IS NOT IT. THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE THAT WILL HELP YOU ,, I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK

You can leave!