have you been in an abusive relationship yourself? It's not a nice experience, and can be very confusing. I didnt realise it was abusive. when he would kick down doors in the house...i would apologise for 'making him angry' and offer to pay for the doors. he even kicked down my parents door and i had to get it fixed and pay before they found out because i thought they would get mad AT ME! I went to counselling to 'fix myself' and to 'help me'...he would restrain me in his room and bash things around, push and shove me, bash the walls with cricket bats, try to electrocute both of us, try to kill us in car crashes, restrain me on the bed. (this was just the beginning). my dad found out and i got a restraining order, he contested it, i dropped it and five years on he is still dragging my name through the mud. even after all he did i didnt speak a bad word about him, finally 5 years on i see him for what he is...a weak-minded, insecure loser who has to bring others down, and have stopped blaming myself. Still, it doesnt help me stop going to other abusive relationships. after that one i was torn down to nothing. absolutely nothing. just a wreck. and got tied up with an emotionally/ mentally abusive person. who tore me down to less than i was originally. which was nothing. took me 2 years to leave him. now he is back in my life again and i consider taking him back...why? because im not sure i deserve anything better...or that there is anything better. I hope this was a ligit question. I can tell you abouut isolated incidents but this was a 'brief' overview of the past 6 years =o)

The only thing I can share with you is that it leaves you with nothing.

you have to learn to stand up for yourself thats why we do councilling in hopes to make us love and respect ourselves.heard it all before done that, did this and everything else.It took me twelve years to realise i am not a piece of crap to be scraped off the bottom of his boots.Twelve years is along time being terrified of his moods,of being beaten and yelled at and put down.You get to a stage when enough is enough and you find the strength you never thought possible to deal with it.We battered women have done this to ourselves we have allowed these bastards do this to us.We have the strength to put up with the abuse,so use that strength to get away from it.there is alot of help out there now dont hide whats been done to you ,yell it out to anyone whos listening.I am calling the shots now and i wont allow him to put me down in any way shape or form.Its been ten months now,the relationship can be a battle at times,but im the one in control and thats the way i like it.I will never forgive him for what he did to me,but worst of all i will never forgive myself for putting up with it for so long ,i an a much better stronger mum to our children.You can be too.

I was in a relationship that I regret.I have been stabbed,held at gunpoint for six hours,burned with acid,handcuffed to post.I could tell you alot more.That happened over 13 years ago and I have police records to show.I thank God to this day that I'm alive and with a wonderful man now.