How do I make a bad first impression at a new job?
by 
xjimmyloudx
ANSWERS: 16
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Don't show up.
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Show up obviously drunk/high.
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Walk into your bosses office on your first day, sit down and put your feet up on his/her desk and say, "We need to talk about my compensation package."
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Just make sure that your boss knows that anything that happens around the job has to be done YOUR way because you don't trust him or anyone else to get the job done properly!
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Go in naked apart from a swastika badge on your balls!
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show up late in pajamas
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Scratch your butt, pick your nose and then act like you want to shake everyones hand. Make sure you have a big green slimy booger on your finger.
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Go in your pyjamas and slippers..
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go to work wasted, slap your boss on the butt, and say something sexual (especialy if you're male and she is female) all on your first day,
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Fart a lot as you walk around the office. Sharing is key to teamwork. If you aren't generally a farty person, buy some of those Dr Scholls "Gellin" inserts and wear them without socks. It'll sound like you're farting as you walk. Another thing I always liked to do was walk up to water fountain and casually let your hand get all wet. Then walk by one of the gopher farm departments, pretend to sneeze while flicking your wet hand in the direction of whatever prissy person is closest. Never tell anyone about this trick. Everyone thinks they've been sneezed on. A great trick in this time of pandemic panic.
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If you are a woman use ALL make-up tools on your face at once. Use the heaviest, sluttiest perfume you own big doses. Wear fishnets and army boots and navel bearing t-shirt with political slogan written on it. If you ar a man don't shave, and wear t-shirt with name of your fave beer brand on it. when you sit by your comp, plug a USB disk in it, and scream after few minutes: "Hey, why is the connection so slow? And why can't I use bit-torrent here? I wanted to download few movies...". Put on music with lots of f-words in it. Unpack your lunch (grilled fish with onions and garlic) and start eating it. Give your boss some diet/workout/fashion advice. Bring your dog/cat/guinea pig... and let it run around the office. If you own aquarium, bring it and place it on boss's desk, because the light will be best for your fishies over there... the list goes on...
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Slap the manager's butt. That'll make a great first impression. LOL!
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Go in and act like a total know-it-all and act like you have known everyone there for years....
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Build a box fortress in you office and defend it with a slingshot. Extra points for defeating the boss.
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COME IN NAKED. MENTION TO A CO-WORKER THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MAY HAVE DRESSED A BIT TOO FORMALLY.
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Bring a hand help Play Station Two and play games while intermittenly shouting and swearing like a sailor as you play a really violent game.
MrJosh 
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