The boogeyman lives in my closet and wants to eat me. What are some effective anti-boogeyman measures I could take to remedy this horrid situation?
by 
Fiddle Playing Creole Bastard
ANSWERS: 18
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Fabreeze or however its spelled
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burn sage to clear and cleanse the area of negative energy ,,, smudge your house . that will drive them out .
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Bogeyman invasion huh...call your mother and tell her you love her. The bogeyman will then leave.
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cover yourself in baby oil every night. If he does try to attack, you will be too slippery from the oil for the boogeyman to be able to grab you and you will be able to get away.
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Set fire to your closet. Studies show things dislike inhabiting places that are on fire.
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Snot Rockets keep him away. :)
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This horrid situation? I dind't hear you mention a Confeterate Civil War Shoulder with bad breath living in your closet did it? well? did I? Or maybe it didn't cross your mind that Gigantic Mutant Rat/Possimussnakes, might life in YOUR tree just outside your bedtroom window as well, keeping you awake with high ennergy radioactive glowing eyes, while he keeps notes for the ax murderer who shares a tree in my back yard to do their peeping and homicital planning of my nearing violently slow tortuned and unfathom ablly nasty deviant things to be before killing me off and feeding me to their pet Perauna's. You are so selfish. I almost cant look at you , >gag<...see that? and I just got a peripherial view....;)
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Open the door quick and throw a skunk in. Then nail the closet shut. Leave on a vacation for a few days.
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I had a similar situation as a child. My teddy bear told me he would protect me though the night and that nothing could hurt me as long as I was under the covers. Both teddy and me made it, together.
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When there is something strange in the bedroom closet, who you going to call. GHOST BUSTERS! +5
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Try to convince it to join a Baptist Cult and it will become disgusted with you and go away.
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nail the door shut
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Draw a pentagram on the closet door. He can't get out. Then call 'Gostbusters' at 1-999-Br-4-549, ask for the "Keymaster".
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Set fire to your entire house. Then, just to be sure, burn down the entire neighborhood as well. Make sure you are naked at the time so you can do a tribal fire dance around teh ashes.
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Since when does Rush Limbaugh live in your closet?!
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PUT A SMALL NIGHT LIGHT IN THE CLOSET, TO SHOW NO ONE IS THERE OR IN YOUR BEDROOM, BECAUSE IT WONT COME INTO LIGHT.
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That is nothing. The boogerman lives in my closet. Now top that.
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Throw a bag of salt on it, it'll shrivel like a sultana...try it and tell me how it goes.
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