How do i make my boyfriend propose to me? i mean i know i can force anyone.. but surely there's something i can do to speed up the proccess!? i know that he wants to get married

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• So right about the diamond thing! And about not being passive-aggressive. If he doesn't want to marry, he's not the right guy for her, and it's good to find out. If he just doesn't want to propose, that can be fixed by being the one who asks. Honesty! Adulthood! Yay! Points to you.

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  by Ankhorite on May 23rd, 2007

• "That whole "down on one knee with a ring" thing is a bit outdated,"
  
  I strongly disagree to this comment. How can you even say that, this is probably the last part of the marriage process that isn't a joke anymore. The proposal is supposed to be sweet and sensual and with some type of meaning, not just an email or whatever your taking about that says, "hey, lets get engaged sometime, i dont care when, think about it, peace" Or in a text message. If someone were to propose to me through just a normal conversation they would not receive the answer they were looking for.

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  by caffey4 on December 26th, 2007

• Life is not a movie. Someone who is waiting around for the "perfect" moment and for someone who can create the "sweet and sensual" proposal that lives up to their standards (based on what someone else told them was the proper way to do it) is going to be very disappointed. IMO, of course, I'm a practical sort. I'd rather decide on something like that together, by talking about it, then by dropping hints and waiting for him to do some ritual performance for me.

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  by lizvelrene on December 29th, 2007

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• omg seriously lol thas funny

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  by bluegirl1417 on December 26th, 2007

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• That is hilarious, and absolute nonsense. However, it could lead somewhere.....

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  by Yarnlady is happy every day on December 26th, 2007

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• Counseling is a great idea. I can't imagine why someone would downrate this.

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  by Yarnlady is happy every day on December 26th, 2007

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• It's been about three months since you asked. How have things turned out? Hope you're happy with the results, whatever they have been. :)

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  by Ankhorite on May 23rd, 2007

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• I only gave points for the "DO NOT GET PREGNANT" part.
  
  The rest is bad. Don't threaten to break a relationship because he won't propose. That's ridiculous. If you think you'd be happier elsewhere then fine, but saying "I'm going to find someone else to marry me" is stupid. For some people marriage isn't a goal, finding a partner that matches you is. Ugh.

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  by anonymous on March 26th, 2007

• No, I think that someone who wants to be married -- particularly women who are under time pressure regarding any possible children -- needs to know what's going on with their current partner. If their goals are that much different, they should both be with someone else. I thought the answer made it obvious that she shouldn't "threaten" him with anything -- no games, just two adults being honest about their goals and making their choices. If she wants to be a wife (and possibly mother), she should NOT spend much time with someone who does not want to be a husband (and possibly father). If she wants to settle down and he doesn't, why should she settle for that? She should stick to her own plan for her own life, and not just drift along with someone who doesn't share that plan. Perhaps you read too fast, because I was very clear that what's needed is honesty, not melodrama, manipulation, tricks, or threats.

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  by Ankhorite on March 26th, 2007

• i think your both right to a certain extent. If love is what your after I agree with coreoption, if it is true love why would a peice of paper mater to you?
  
  But Ankhorite has a good point about sitting down and talking things through like sensible adults. Dont agree with the 'ultimatums' tho.
  
  If you truly love this dude you wont say its marriage soon or im checking other people. If my partner said that to me, I'd know he wasnt good enough for me.

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  by Rula on May 3rd, 2007

• Read it again! It's not about "ultimatums" or threats. It's about being honest: if the relationship isn't headed where she wants to go, she should go somewhere else. Period.

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  by Ankhorite on May 3rd, 2007

• "Fred, it's been great, but I am ready for marriage now, and I need to find someone who feels the same way. We can keep seeing each other, but I will be looking for someone who's on the same track I am."
  
  feels like an ultimatum to me, what that says to me is'marry me or Im looking else where'

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  by Rula on May 3rd, 2007

• No. Notice she's not saying "marry me or else." It's not an ultimatum, it's the announcement of an already-done deal. She's saying, "I am ready for marriage. I understand you aren't. I am therefore looking for someone else. We can keep on dating if you want while that happens." That's telling the truth, AND being nice enough to keep the existing relationship going until she chooses to settle down with someone who shares her goals. There's no threat; she's saying, the exclusive relationship is already over. Ultimatums are blackmail, and never work. This isn't a threat, it's a decision: the exclusive relationship is over.

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  by Ankhorite on May 23rd, 2007

• If I got that from my girlfriend I'd end the relationship immediately. Obviously you both aren't in the same place. What can you say for a relationship that goes on while one partner is openly looking elsewhere?
  
  Ankhorite, what do YOU get into relationships for? If you answer that, I can clearly see where you are coming from.

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  by anonymous on May 23rd, 2007

• Exactly! The relationship SHOULD end immediately. It's a done deal, not a negotiation or an ultimatum. Obviously they both are not in the same place, and should get together with people who are more compatible. That's what I've been saying all along. A relationship where one person is eager to marry soon and the other is not interested in marriage is an unbalanced relationsip, soon to be dysfunctional, contaminated with manipulation and resentment. Honesty and adult behavior can let them figure out if they want the same things, and if they don't, that should be the end of it. That's what I've been saying from the start here. Maybe they keep dating in a casual way, maybe not -- I allowed for both possibilities in my original answer -- but the exclusive relationship should end and the partner who wants marriage should start looking for someone whose life goals are compatible with that. My own preference would be for a clean break, like you.

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  by Ankhorite on May 24th, 2007

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• STOP, that's awful. She's going to be single in about 2 seconds with that advice. lol. I want my b/f to propose but he will one day, on his own time...maybe not for a few years but i love him so i'll wait. :)

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  by Jane on March 4th, 2008

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