- NEW!
by youngeniusjake on October 16th, 2009
What I'd say If I died today- By Jake Seamons
the things that i would say,
on the day i passed away,
wouldn't make the hurt stop,
it would probably make your heart drop,
the years i've put to waste,
are nothin to the tears you've yet to taste,
but don't think your to blame,
that would just be insane,
i should've listened to you,
and tried to follow through,
but now i'm gone,
and all along,
i was in the wrong direction,
my biggest problem was my own reflection,
and my inability to face it.
by youngeniusjake on October 17th, 2009
thanks
by _bRiTtAnY_ on November 7th, 2009
I love it.....Its really sad but its also true too.......
by Marguerite on November 7th, 2009
Do you really want helpful criticism or not? I like the poem. It has a good idea behind it, although it is rather tragic, but in poetry, that is very acceptable.
I love writing poety and work really hard to have the elements a good poem deserves, therefore, I'm going to tell you what I would work on, if the poem was mine.
I would work on the rhythm of the poem. Some lines have 5 sounds, some have more, but there isn't a pattern, which I think, especially since the words are rhyming in the end. When you get that done, read it aloud and you will notice the difference. You are a poet! :))
by Gone on November 7th, 2009
A very emotive poem:)
+6
by jostafine on November 7th, 2009
Good! I like it;DDDD
by Rawwr on October 17th, 2009
love it :)
by -Slick- on October 17th, 2009
Excellent Poem Jake. +5
by Anonymous on October 16th, 2009
I think its great.
by dead leaves raked in a pile on October 16th, 2009
not yet.
yes you're right it's there now (and if you're wondering, 'twas not I who DRd you - there are some vicious trolls about tonight)
It's hard to 'like' a poem about a topic that's so negative.. I'm going to think about it and get back to you. But I do think it's quite strong and has definite merit. Needs some editing but a good start.
What is a credo poem?
by Answerbag Staff on May 18th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Finish: roses are red, viloets are____________?
by DIYman on December 8th, 2011
| 4 people like this
A POEM.....No Mind Of Your Own....
by THE BANNIBAL ONE on November 21st, 2011
| 2 people like this
Can I see/hear some of your own personally written poetry?
by Unicorn Man on October 31st, 2011
| 1 person likes this
is this a good poem?
by Dylan_L2271 on November 16th, 2011
| 2 people like this
You're reading <#2>Do you like my poem? written in an answer
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