What is your opinion of a girl who would tell her fiance she won't marry him until he gets circumcised?
by 
kybear
ANSWERS: 37
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I think that she needs an education. An education in how to respect people, an education in the facts and fables about circumscision, an education in to fundamental human rights - and an education of what love means. Without knowing any of the qualities of her fiance, I would say she doesn't deserve to marry him, either that, or he is better off without her.
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If that's what she expects him to do, she should take the next flight to Nairobi for some female circumcision action, African style. Then they can share alike, because that what's marriage is about. Mutual mutilation.
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This can be a serious problem. better to have it resolved before the marriage or there may be no marriage at all. The girl apparently has her reasons for this request. I can see her side of the situation as well as his side. There may be no answer here.
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What are her reasons for this?
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Well I think that is pretty cheesy..er ah I think he is getting the short end of the..ah..she is forgetting how painful that is...damn. Can I give you a tip..er ah ..I mean some advise..think long and hard about..I mean ah..be sure to consider the medical tissues..I mean issues.
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If i were a guy, i wouldn't marry her.
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Do you really want to marry someone who gives ultimatums about you mutilating your body. Why don't you help her get educated about it. Or maybe this is your sign to cut and run.
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She is afraid of contracting cancer? You and she need to see a doctor. She needs her fears addressed and to have them clarified by a doctor. Then you both need to know exactly what is involved in circumcision for a grown man. It is a far cry from what it takes to circumcise a baby. You both need to understand exactly what is involved and what is at risk. If you love her, make the appointment.
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Good for her.
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I think she is not really in love with him. Do not do it. Its a test of who is gonna be the man of the house. If you do it she will be more likely to leave you than if you stay the way you are. I know a guy who got a visectomy at the request of his wife. He was always a little girl when it came to being a man, so he did it. She also convinced him to get one of those operations where they make it so you can only eat a fist full of food at a time, and of course he did it (he wasn't even that fat, just your typical american). Now he can't enjoy a meal, or have kids, and his wife is leaving him because she is bored of him. So learn from this guy's folly and be a man. Sex is more pleasurable with all of your skin intact anyways. Don't be a Jew and don't be a wimp. If you get circumcised, she will be walking all over you and will eventually leave you. Be a man now and save yourself the trouble. If she doesn't marry you, I guarantee you will find someone better.
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That depends how you feel about getting circumcised... and also the reason she wants you to. I have never had sex with an uncircumcised man so I don't know if it is about pleasure... or just a need to feel in control. I can't really make a judgment unless I knew her motivations.
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If she has good reasons I don't see any reason why she should not make the request. There are stories out there about the smell and gorm (for lack of a better term) so if her man isn't tidy and clean, maybe that's it. I'm circumcised, do I even have a say here?
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I think that's something between her and her fiance. I knew a guy in the Navy several years ago who was uncircumcised. And he was getting circumcised before his marriage. He had no problems with this, but I din't know all the details between him and his fiance so I can't speak as to all the reasons. Suffice it to say that it was important to both of them. If she makes this a condition of the marriage BEFORE the wedding, then I'd say she's at least being up front about it. For her, it's obviously important. As to WHY it's important to her, you give no details...perhaps don't even know any of them. If the man doesn't think her reasons are valid, for whatever reason, then he is free to exercise his free will and NOT go through with the marriage. And then she will be free to find someone else who DOES meet her criteria. Simple as that.
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If my girl would tell me that she would not marry me or have sex with me unless i got circumcised i would dump her and find somone that appreceates me for all of me and not be so shallow. I never commented that her breasts were uneven or that big mole on the side of her forhead was like a 3rd eye. Peace curtdude uncut and happy
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I think she has the right to ask if she wants to. He can always say no.
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I would think she doesn't really love him. Unless her reason for having him get cut is for his good. Such as a cancer risk, etc... Otherwise, it seems pretty selfish.
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I would think she is trying to reduce her risk of cervical cancer - supposedly non-existent in nuns and jewish women. Or she just wants him to be better able to give and receive pleasure.
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My thoughts on this seem to have mostly already been expressed. However, I may have something to add: I went with a fellow for awhile in college who was not, and he experienced pain "at certain times" because of the tightness around it when it was - well, you know. Apparently, Nature's amount of foreskin wasn't quite enough at those times. It caused discomfort for him and therefore was a distraction. I felt bad for him when he would wince and say "Ow!", but I knew he had no intention of getting circumcised. (I didn't marry him but it was unrelated to that! - I wasn't quite in love w/ him enough, plus I was young and the timing wasn't right for me). But if it is not uncomfortable for the gal's boyfriend, then the main thing is just a cleanliness issue, and she can probably tell at this point if cleanliness is a problem for him! If he is clean, and has no pain issues, then it is a shame to think she would make circumcision a factor 'per se' - as has been said already, there must be more to it - maybe it is just a way of trying to "ease" her way out!?!?!?!?...If so, it is not a good way, at all.
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Wow, women can have an abortion but they can't even decide what they will and will not allow into their vaginas? . I know there are seriously anti-circumcision people on AB but I reckon parents get to decide for their children and men get to decide when they're adults. . The US has seen a huge surge in tattoos, piercings and scarification with a simultaneous insistence that circumcision is barbaric. I don't get it, but whatev. . I support this woman's right to decide what goes into her. If he likes his foreskin better than he likes her that is HIS decision.
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It’s amazing that someone claiming a fear of cancer didn’t bother to educate herself. Her fears are based on pure ignorance. ACS (Cancer Experts) Members have stated that circumcision is a dirtraction from the proven risks of cancer. http://www.fathermag.com/health/circ/acs/.. Research suggesting a pattern in the circumcision status of partners of women with cervical cancer is methodologically flawed, outdated, and has not been taken seriously in the medical community for decades. Portraying routine circumcision as an effective means of prevention distracts the public from the task of avoiding the behaviors proven to contribute to penile and cervical cancer: especially cigarette smoking, and unprotected sexual relations with multiple partners. Perpetuating the mistaken belief that circumcision prevents cancer is inappropriate.
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2nd Answer. Does this question have anything to do with the Jewish religion and beliefs?
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Well I think it's up to him, If he don't want to why should he. I think it's a bit mean for her to say she wont worry him if he don't.
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I'd tell her that's fine with me as long as she gets circumcised too!
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interesting question, kybear. . if i were a woman with several relatives who had had cancer, i would be concerned. many times, that level of concern or fear is greater than the risk that the scientific community acknowledges at that time. i can appreciate that level of fear!!! marry me or get circumcised is one way of dealing with it. another healthy way might be, "let's investigate things that we might be able to do that would mitigate the potential risks of cancer." . i think that if she dumps him because he's not circumcised, then circumcision is more important to her than he is. i think that if he dumps her because she wants him to get circumcised, then not getting circumcised is more important to him than she is. . i have a gut level feeling that this isn't a good way to begin a good lifetime-long relationship together.
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Smart girl. Smegma. Ew!
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What most people forget is that circumcision has no support from medical groups around the world. It is considered cosmetic and unnecessary, since simple soap n water are more effective. Secondly adults rarely choose circumcision , it is something that is done on infants/children against their will. Once a person becomes an adult the idea of removing healthy body parts just doesn’t make sense… Circumcised males - do not believe that more genital cutting will benefit them , more isn’t better, and they never had a choice in their circumcision. And Intact males - do not believe that genital cutting will benefit them, when their body is normal and healthy.
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I think she is a shallow cow. There is nothing wrong with a man's natural state. I mean, I prefer men natural, but I would never tell a man I didn't like the fact that he was circumcised, I'd tell him it was great.
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I think she is a shallow cow. There is nothing wrong with a man's natural state. I mean, I prefer men natural, but I would never tell a man I didn't like the fact that he was circumcised, I'd tell him it was great.
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I think she is a shallow cow. There is nothing wrong with a man's natural state. I mean, I prefer men natural, but I would never tell a man I didn't like the fact that he was circumcised, I'd tell him it was great.
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that's soooo stupid don't women usually like uncircumsized penises better anyway?!?!?!
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I would think it would be more painful for an adult to do this. An infant is incapable of being arroused. An adult gets aroused very easily. I would think a circumsision for an adult would be rather painful for a while after it. I may be wrong. If I am would someone please correct me.
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If the girl is Jewish or Moslem, and expects to raise her children in her faith, the dude faces a hard choice, as she is within her rights. If she is Christian or atheist, she is dead wrong. Her sex education is a failure. She needs to learn to accept what Mother Nature has done, which is to put an important feminine detail on the part of a man's body that penetrates a woman's body during intercourse. I would not want to speak to a man who insisted that his wife or fiance trim her labia or enlarge her breasts.
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I believe that it would be time to find a new fiancee ... +5
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Well I am circumcised. So now what?
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It tells me that she is probably a pretty shallow person. When you love someone, its not the penis you're in love with, its the person attached to the penis.
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I think she is out of line. If she is this controlling now image how much worse she will be after they are married. If I were him I would break the engagement.
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He should tell her that he won't marry her unless she cuts off one of her breasts. See how she likes being asked to mutilate herself.
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