ANSWERS: 13
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  • crazy idea... maybe he should not drink something that weaknes his self control. many guys punch to vent. my vent strike is hard enough to hurt my hand for half an hour, but is so rare my wife of 6 years only witnessed it once. I generaly pick a target I will not hurt like a counter top or a steel door, but I have damaged sheet rock a couple times. did he start to come at you then stop himself? if not then he probably is not dangerous.
  • Less drinking and anger management classes.
  • It happens. A lot of men take out their frustration that way. Unless he specifically intended it to be a warning to you, I wouldn't be concerned and just don't fight with him while he's drinking - I mean really, he's not getting the point anyway, why bother?
  • Make him fix the door
  • Sit down with him and tell him that seeing him lose his temper to the point where he has hit something makes you scared that you will be next. He needs to know how it made you feel and that its not alright. I've experienced the same thing with my husband. He has never hit me and I know he never will. Several years ago, if we got into a big fight, he would punch a wall or a door. When we were going to counseling with my older son, this was one of the things I brought up. I told him that it scared me when he got like that and if he couldn't control his anger, what would stop him from hitting me? I told him I would not live in fear of his anger. He never realized how much it affected me and he has never done it again.
  • Try encouraging him to drink less.
  • When you are with your boyfriend keep an eye how much he is drinking and tell him to control his drinking before he lose his mind.
  • Only way for sure is to leave him before he becomes the scary person you fear.
  • Guys get upset sometimes very violently, i have had my share of arguments but i have never hit a woman and i never will, but i have hit a wall before, i have hit a solid beam before also, i have to say that last one was very stupid, it broke my hand lol, the point being you have to let your anger out somehow, you cannot keep it bottled up inside. Better he hit something else in anger rather then you.
  • That's really not that uncommon, and I wouldn't be afraid that he's going to ever be violent towards you. He had rage and he let it get the better of him, but there's a world of difference between hitting a door and hitting a person. You two may have some issues to deal with, but you can't regard this any different than any other non-violent instance of him losing his temper. He did not focus his rage upon anything that mattered, and that makes all the difference. His actions were more destructive that a traditional punch into a pillow or a long walk to blow off steam, but they weren't inherently different. Trust your gut. If you don't think he's the kind of guy that would hurt you, don't be afraid about future incidents. If you have always been on edge about his violent tendencies, now would be a good time to discuss it and inform him how scared he made you.
  • Look, you need to talk to him if you haven't already. You've got to tell him how scared he made you feel that night, and you have to tell him that you don't want to end up like the door. The drinking has to stop if he's violen when drunk. I know plenty of teens who've decided they don't drink because they get violent. I mean students are mature enough to know when they shouldn't drink, I'm pretty sure it's not too much to ask from him or at least to limit his drinking. If he ever gets violent remember you have the right to kick him out of the house. If he doesn't calm down and he gets more violent call the police they'll throw him in the drunk tank, if that happens you need to think about if your going to stay with him. If he refuses to do anything about It and continues to act out like this, then is it worth staying with him.
  • No, there's no way you can ensure he doesn't become a scary person. You can't control him. At best you'd be able to manipulate some of his actions for a while, until resentment built up. You can encourage him not to drink, at least not so much that he's giving up control. Let him know it scared you. That alone may be enough to make him rethink things.
  • Run as fast as you can!It can lead to him hittin you!!!!

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