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by Anonymous on March 18th, 2007

Anonymous

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Do you think it's possible to both love and hate your ex at the same time? I still want to be with him all the time, but when I'm with him it hurts so much that I want him to just disappear?

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Answers. 7 helpful answers below.

  • by Miamolly on October 8th, 2009

    Miamolly

    I am going through it right now. It is gut-wrenching but the hate is starting to win out over any remaining love because of his refusal to accept ANY of the blame for the demise of the relationship. Nothing new for him. He can't accept blame for ANYTHING. Hate is wrong but it DOES feel better.

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  • by - retroglide - on March 18th, 2007

    - retroglide -

    This is what a love/hate relationship is. I believe what is happening is you may be clinging to what was. A bit of separation and your memory fades. Then when you are around him, you remember why he is your ex.

    It's unhealthy if it is causing you pain. People who value and love you do not constantly cause you pain.

    Perhaps some of your identity is also wrapped up in this man. I would take a prolonged break, which also may be painful, and revisit at a later time. If you still feel pain, it's time to move on.

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  • by firecracr on March 18th, 2007

    firecracr

    of course. You loved them at one time in your life. But you hate them for those reasons you aren't with them anymore.

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  • by Fun on March 18th, 2007

    Fun

    I am going through that right now. You loved them for a reason... you have to remember you broke up for a reason as well.

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  • by Astrophel on March 18th, 2007

    Astrophel

    Head versus Heart.

    While at the same time you may care for him very deeply, your mind knows that he always ends up hurting you in the end.

    One or the other has to win in the end. Confront him and MAKE him know that he hurts you, and then either he will change and you can continue to love him, or he won't and then you'll just have to try and move on.

    It's a difficult decision, but in the end, I think you're gonna have to make it.

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  • by aries213 on April 20th, 2007

    aries213

    I am going through the same thing. It is much easy hating him though. You aren't happy without him, but you aren't happy with him either. Just remember that there was a reason why you two broke up and whenever you miss him think of that reason and of other bad instances in the relationship.

    Try not to see him or talk to him for awhile...it only makes getting over him harder. There will be times when you are fine and then it all of a sudden hits you and you miss him like hell and just want to drop everything and call/IM/see him...but it will make things worse. So try not to do it and just keep yourself busy with friends.

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  • by Kgsult on March 18th, 2007

    Kgsult

    Maybe you love the idea of him, you love the attachment. You'll get over it

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