What would be the easiest way to go about training a large murder of common crows to adhere to my every whim and carry out my evil bidding?
by 
RFlagg
ANSWERS: 9
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after the flock numbers over 30, they have a flock mentality, so if you could install a chip into one of their brains they would go where you told them. maybe. if you were really evil and liked to harm cute little crows.
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THATS AWESOME why didn't i think of that. well you would have to be one of the herd to say so raise them as small birdies and teach them little comands, but ill let u no crows are very intelligent and scientests cant figure out much about them... so as far as superstition gos they're not to be messed with.
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Hmm...they like sunflower seeds I hear. Maybe you could train them slowly...over a lifetime or three.
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why don't you ask when you return to the asylum.
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Use the Grimmerie, and find a good spell. Just the words might be a little hard to read.
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Interesting! Well, I would start with one crow. Train it up to follow basic commands like come and sit quietly. It will do this for the attention and the food rewards. Raise two or three more and elaborate on the tricks you teach them, maybe adding "fetch" and "fly to the fence post, then come back". You'll be astounded at what they can learn and retain over time. They will come to see you as their parent and will strive to protect you. Crows can get very mean when someone threatens one of their own. It should be a fun experiment. Links about crow intelligence: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crow http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2002/08/0808_020808_crow.html
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BECOME RIVER PHENOIX
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First, you need to be a rock musician who, along with your girlfriend, are killed by a bunch of thugs. Then, you get resurrected as an undead ninja with odd clown makeup.
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Sounds like a lot of work, and messy to keep around, not to mention noisy. Consider Capuchins (small monkeys) instead. Smart long lived Trainable capable of carrying a pitchfork What more can you ask for.
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