It's very simple really. If you have to tell someone else you are something, then you are not. So, if you actually have to say "I'm a nice guy." you're not.

A widespread phenomenon. http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/e/eb/SPniceguys.gif http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/6/60/Xkcdfriends.png http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/a/af/Stop_being_a_google.PNG

Maybe people have been telling him he's a nice guy because he isn't !

I think seeing yourself as you really are is difficult if not impossible. We like to put ourselves in the best light. It is always a subjective assessment..we cannot be objective about ourselves. That is how he sees himself. Happy Wednesday! :) ((hugs))

Perhaps you met one in the chrysalis stage between 'nice guy' and 'arrogant jerk'...;-D... I'll defer to an old "Rant" on Craigslist to expand upon this concept....;-D....(Note: explicit language in the original changed to 'family-friendly') What happened to all the nice guys? The answer is simple: you did. See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were boinking treated you. At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease. Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?" Well, once again, you did. You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of a jerk than he ever wanted to be. Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that. So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do: 1.) Build a time machine. 2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your rear end. 3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it. I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you. If you were five years younger. So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've screwed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the horse pucky and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't bleeping want you, now. Sincerely, A Recovering Nice Guy

If somebody calls himself a 'nice guy' you know he is not.

A great piece on the 'Nice Guy Syndrome' http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html

... (missed the text field... again... duh :|)

I actually dated a guy once who said this about himself and he was an alcoholic who had to drink every day and was sometimes violent.

he thought he was a nice guy but he was filled with so much bitterness and hate he was not nice at all. +5

I know one. I think him more as "Whining guy" then nice guy. He thinks everyone is out to get him. +5

Nice guys who never say they are a nice guy and who genuinely care for others, are nice guys. Guys who proclaim all the time that they are nice and try to make that their whole identity, and, who also say things like "Nice guys finish last" are just pussies.