She should not leave him home. The family will at least have to put up with him. Especially if you are talking about holidays etc.

Here are the details: he married his wife without the consent of her family (they tried to get their consent for over 4 years and gave up). The issue: he is of a different caste than her despite being of the same religion. Not higher or lower, just different. What's weird is that he is an extremely decent, educated, succesful and self-made wealthy guy which makes this situation even more ludicrious as any woman would be lucky to have him. Certain memebrs of her family visit their home often staying for weeks. He is not welcome at her family's home or any social events. weddings, etc. When they do visit, he goes out of his way to welcome them, take them out and entertain them despite how they treat him out of love and respect for his wife. His issue is not that she takes the kids, but the frequency and timing of the visits - why should he have to spend Christmas alone because her family is difficult? She has ignored all of his requests to talk things trhough or even to go to counselling. She now takes the kids without discussion, only telling him a day or two in advance. He asked for time alone with the kids on a 4 day mini-trip and she is now threatening divorce if he takes them away for a few days without her. Any advice? This is a really bad situation and 2 innocent kids are stuck in the middle.

It sounds like the wife has to get her priorities straight. When you get married, you leave the home of your family to be with your S/O. She has made her decision and her family is more important than he is. You might want to talk to her about her handling the situation wrong and not him.

Sorry meant to add that the kids are both under the age of three.

There is something seriously wrong here. A wife does not leave her husband on every single holiday. Maybe he doesn't celebrate holidays. Flat out ask him. I notice that your wife leaves you alone every Holiday, Are you okay with that? Did he tell you that it bothers him when she leaves? Get all of the facts from him. Ask him if he would agree to let you talk to her about it. If he says no, then let it go. If she leaves that much she can't be working. He needs to put his foot down, man up, and say no. Get the facts!

Are they MARRIED? If not. . . . ."why" not? Sorry. But to give you MY advice on this. . . . .it's a small detail I'd need to know, first!

That sounds sad but maybe he refuses to go with her and make an effort to mend things. My mother in-law hated me but I always felt that we had something in common. We both loved my husband and the kids. She gave birth to the man I loved and would always be indebted to her for that so I never denied her visits with the kids or my husband. I always went along. Years later and we have mended our relationship. She thinks I did a fine job with the raising of the kids and she has finally accepted that I'm a good match for her son and I make him happy.

Sounds like it's time for her to decide whether or not she wants her family or him. It's sad that her family has forced her into this tough choice, but they have. He's going to have to win her to his side with love. She should realize, no loving family man should have to be alone on holidays! Professional counseling is called for, but be careful of quacks.

Why, in your view, has the wife's family not accepted him?

she should visit her family less and stick with her husband and not leave him alone , its unfair 4 the husband to be left all alone in holidays , instead why dont she make plans 4 her kids and husban . she still can see her family but less . the husbans deserves to be treated better !