Im 16 and my boyfriend is 21!i met him when i was 15 and he was 20.i really fancied him and when he asked what age i was i said 18.he believed me as ive always looked older than what i actually am.i love him and want to tell him but i dont know how? help
by 
emma xxxx
ANSWERS: 17
-
This may sound harsh, but how can you say you love him when you build your whole relationship on a lie? If you REALLY love him, you'll tell him. It's not doing him any good, it will only get worse the longer you wait. He's got to find out sooner or later.
-
Either he knows, and is taking advantage of you, or he's a complete idiot, and could get in SERIOUS trouble because of you.
-
Well now...do you ever owe him an apology. If you are too embarassed or scared to do it face to face...write him a letter explaining what you did and why....and please apologise and promise never to lie to him again. If you were intimate before you were 16...you tricked him into an illegal act....so wrong of you. However, if you confess he may forgive you and all will be well. Do it SOON....it would be curtains for you if he found our from someone else!
-
Tell him something like this. "I have something to tell you, and it might upset you, but I just have to tell you." The first thing he'll think might be that you're cheating on him. Then tell him straight, "I'm 16." The best thing is to be open and honest. You told him you were older because you really like him. It would not upset me greatly.
-
First of all you were very wrong to lie to him in the first place. HE could be in seriouse trouble because of that. That is alot of times how it happens, cuz a little girl lied. U need to tell him ASAP. Let him decide based upon the TRUTH what he wants to do. The way to start a relationship should NEVER begin with a lie. That was your first f*ck up. So...just tell him, im sure if he loves you...hell stay, but if he doesnt...hell go, and then if that is true, why would u want him anyways. And if the age is an issue, HELL WAIT. So...just tell him, NOW...get on the phone, call him up...and tell him the truth.
-
Just tell him. I won't lie, it may change the dynamics of your relationship. He may slow down in some areas. I know this may be none of my business, but have yall met each others parents. It may sound silly but it's important unless your emancipated. But do not tell that lie EVER AGAIN. There are dudes in trouble because of that who legitimately didn't know and that's not cool.
-
Just tell him. The very next time you talk to him let him know right away. There's no delicate way of doing this and it absolutely must be done. There are huge consequences for him if he's caught having a relationship with you and it's completely wrong to keep him in the dark until it's to late for him and his arrest record/sexual offender record.
-
First, have you & he had sex? If so then it stagatory rape for him (you being a minor at 15). Will you wait for him while he does prison time? Second, You already did the biggest no no by telling him a LIE! How will he know he can trust you again? Third, your mother should spank your bottom for going out with an "adult"! Truly you have know idea what LOVE really is yet, YOUR ONLY 16! You don't know Jack! Wait a few more years (about 8)! If it's LOVE you'll still be together! If not you'll know it's just a puppy dog crush!
-
Just tell him. He needs to know. You need to know if he's still gonna like being with you after he finds out your age. What kind of realtionship could it be if "someone" found out the wrong way. You've not only got the statuatory rape thing going against you (even if no sex is involved, courts will not believe it)but how do you think he'd feel finding out the wrong way? Don't get me wrong, my hsb is 7yrs older than me, but we both knew it from the beginning & were able to deal w/the differences. Just tell him!
-
You really should not have lied in the first instance relationships are built on trust and he is in a relationship that is a lie, also he could go to prison having been convicted as a child sex offender. The only thing that you can do now is to come clean and tell him your true age and let him decide as to whether or not he wants to continue with the relationship, I think that he deserves to know the truth, no one deserves what you have done and what you continue to do, you need to tell him.
-
It's best that he finds out from you, and not some other source, and as soon as possible. Just sit him down and be honest with him. Perhaps he'll insist that you put the relationship off until you're legal, and if that's the case, I wouldn't say it's a terrible idea. If you're really in love with him, I'm sure he's worth the wait. Telling him is the correct, considerate thing to do, and since you're already thinking about it, I think it's best to go with your gut. Good luck!
-
However you do it, you need to tell him immediately. Depending on where you live, he could get in serious trouble for being with an underage girl, whether he knows your age or not. Do you want to be the one responsible for sending him to prison?
-
Tell him IMMEDIATELY!!!! You chose to lie, you deal with the consequences. Don't ask people for help fixing something you intentionally did. You knew it was wrong and a lie when you told him. Tell him immediately, or you are intentionally continuing to show how little you care for your boyfriend, by continuing to risk his future and freedom.
-
if he's the person u love and know and if he truely loves u and deserves u then he'll understand and forgive u and trust u again and he may even wait for u to be 18 and then date u and until then u can stay friends but if he's just another jurk that's playing u then he'll walk away either way wouldn't u rather know now than a day later?! just tell him and find out
-
yeah, i pretty much agree, you need to tell him. Tell him at the best time there is. Explain why you lied maybe?
-
If you've been holding him at first base, just tell him the truth. Your relationship's over - at least for now and probably for good - but that's the way it has to be. But, assuming you're sleeping with him, you've baited him into committing a felony - and that's 1 count per time you've had sex. If the police or DA's office gets wind of this, he's going to jail for a long time and you've ruined his life just when it should be starting. It doesn't matter that you've deceived him and he thought you were of age. So how would you like to spend the first half of your 20s in prison and the second half on parole, getting a late start with a criminal record that automatically disqualifies you from most employment opportunities and careers not to mention the requirement to register as a child molester/sex-offender everywhere you live and work for the rest of your life? Face up to the fact that your relationship is over. NOW. In fact, it never really existed as it wasn't you he was dating but someone else he thought you were.
-
So...Emma....you got a lot of advice. Did you follow it? What happened?
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC