the children are often asked who they want to live with and why. they have to see through abusive parents as well.

Yes

All I can say is..one week my daughter loves me..and one week she loves her dad! One week she wants to move out..the next week she hates her dad..so probably No:) I think they should have a say..but with teenagers--you don't know. With the younger kids....if my youngest son had his wish--he would never visit his dad. But he is also only 3 and I need a break too:)

why not split it down the middle you get 4 days and he 3 then next week he gets 4 you get 3

Only above 16, and even that with the grain of salt. Many kids are likely to choose the parent with the least amount of structure and where they can have the most fun, not where they are safest.

I believe that IF the child is 13 years of age or older ; they need to have a say in where they will live ... UNLESS there is PROOF that the parent that they wish to live with is UNFIT ... to be the custodial Parent.

Yes, they should be interviewed by a competent advocate, but not brought into the actual court proceeding.

They should have a say, but unless they live in Texas, they should not be lead to believe that what they want will actually happen. Only Texas has that law. As for having the maturity to make such a choice, that's another issue. A Child's Choice: What Is The Right Age For A Child To Choose Which Parent To Live With? http://previews.tinyurl.com/A-Childs-Choice-In-Custody One choice they could express is Joint Custody of the parents, and not the other way around. They can be told that the children need to remain in the home and each parent can live there for three weeks, than switch. Once a week the parent not in residence takes the children out to dinner. While in the home, the parent does not date or have overnight guests, other than relatives. On the off weeks, the parent rents a room, stays with relatives or friends, or they can split the cost of a one bedroom apartment that they share. The priority here is the children not having their lives disrupted by the choices of the parents. The parents' lives are equally disrupted and they split the cost of being in the home. If child support is ordered, both parents can pay into a trust fund that pays out to cover the children’s expenses. Anything over and above those expenses remains there to collect interest and goes toward a college education. When the children are grown, and completely out of the home, than the property can be sold or whatever the parents want to do with it. This is called Bird Nest Custody. The children remain in the nest and the bird take turns being there. http://Previews.tinyurl.com/GiveKidsAChoice Take a poll http://cabaraoke.newsvine.com/_news/2009/06/23/2961111-jon-kate-what-now-happens-with-the-plus-8-answer-bird-nest-custody