Help! My husband is in touch with his first love and they are arranging to meet, possibly with my kids there too. He doesn't know I know yet. Should I confront him now, or give him ample opportunity to tell me before the event?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 19
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If it was me i would give him the opportunity to say it to me and then if he hasnt by the day before i would confront him!
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See my answer in the other version of this question. :)
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I'd give him a day or two then confront him with a baseball bat to the head. But that's just me...
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give him some room to tell you first....If he doesnt tell you the morning of the day he is going to meet her say "I hope everything works out with your meeting today...." He'll look at you like huh? Then you hit him with it.... Guys are such dumbasses. They think they are so smooth. The woman always finds out and always knows.
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go talk to her first and find out her intentions, that will stall everything for everybody
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Don't worry your pretty head..When an old flame or friends came along is a sign of higher state of learning. Paths get cross for a reason- unfinished buisness. To ascend to the next stage of life a person has to close old chapters to move on. For you - you are part of the big picture. Once your husband has closed his past with your understanding he can ascend to his next level and improve with you. Your positive support is crucial. This is the chance for you to strenghten your love and trust, the chance to grow with this situation. Think positively and the outcome will surprise you in a very unique way. Positive thinking attracts positive results.
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Several thoughts...turn on the charm and hold your husbands attention...let the cat out of the bag and let your husband flounder...let the old girlfriend know you aren't through with your husband yet...hardline and tell your husband you won't be there when he returns. Maybe do all of these things...I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
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If he weren't planning to tell you, he wouldn't be taking the kids - who would surely say something he'd have to explain. He's probably stalling, trying to figure out how to present it. In the off chance, he doesn't say something soon, plan something for that exact time and see what he does . . . that will tell you all you need to know.
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Are you spying on him? Did he tell you? You sound very insecure.
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I wonder why he is uncomfortable in telling you? Could this say more about YOU than it does about him?
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trust him, i would cause he has not yet met her and it could be all innocent... let him tell you, he may, even once he has actually meet her...
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If he hasn't told you yet then there are clearly some problems, confront him but make sure it seems as if you stumbled upon it and were not spying :)
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Sit back and watch it all unfold. In doing so you will truly see who is in your house! One meeting...whatever. Multiple meetings you have a problem! BUT Why is he not telling you? Two theories; A) She doesn't mean anything to him emotionally and she suggested the meeting or B) He suggested it, may still have feelings, may want to explore those feelings or C) To put closure on things because your his first love. I THINK is C. Take it for what its worth! There may be a trust/communication issue in your relationship and to be honest, it really has nothing to do with his "first love".
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If he has nothing to hide why wouldnt he invite you? Of course if the kids are going he probably will eventually tell you. He definitely should have gone to you and told you what he was planning to do though. But if he never says anything then confront him and ask him what his intentions are with meeting up with this woman.
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First off I wouldn't give this relationship a chance to blossom and then find out where that leaves you. If hes not telling you that he plans on meeting her, something is deffinately off. I would confront him about the meeting and then suggest you join him or tell him this makes you very uncomfortable and ask him to cancel. His feelings arn't the only ones that matter.
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You should wait to see if he tells you. If he meets her and still doesn't tell you, you should bust him out on it. Don't be totally trusting, men are dogs and when given the opportunity to sniff around, they will. I say this from personal experience. I thought my husband and I had a great relationship. I trusted my husband to the core of my being and knew he rekindled this friendship with an old friend from high school, he used to tell me about their conversations etc. Well, I just found out about a month and a half ago that he's been cheating on me with that old friend for the last 4 months.
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First off I wouldn't give this relationship a chance to blossom and then find out where that leaves you. If hes not telling you that he plans on meeting her, something is deffinately off. I would confront him about the meeting and then suggest you join him or tell him this makes you very uncomfortable and ask him to cancel. His feelings arn't the only ones that matter.
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I would confront him about it ASAP. If he is wanting to get re-involved with his first love, he needs to let you know before he does something stupid and you and/or the kids get hurt. There's no reason why you shouldn't already know if he was going to tell you.
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Oh God... Im sorry. I keep getting told that I have to learn to deal with him bringing my kids around her eventually. I just can't...The thought of it, the thought of her being better than me in EVERY way kills me. Better lover, better wife, better mother... It hurts more than I can bare the thought of and it is our biggest struggle because the both of them enjoy hurting me so much even to the point of using my children to do it. It is hard what you are going through. I suggest you go see someone immediately.
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