Been there! In my case whenever my mother says anything negative or likewise to me all that I say in return was I am a product of my enviroment. It usually shuts her up.

It depends.Were you being selfish? If not,however,my mother tries to use mind tricks and guilt trips like that on me,too,and I'm 24 years old.Even though I don't see her very often these days,when I do encounter her,It can be expected.SHE'S actually the selfish one,though,when it comes to my mother,but if I don't know the WHOLE history of the relationship between you and your mother,I can't really advise you of any way to react.*

I have a buddy who has the perfect comeback line to that, because I witnessed it with my own ears: His mother screamed, "You're being childish!" He snapped back with, "An inherited trait, no doubt."

The easy one is "You raised me." The appropriate one is to just say good day and walk away. There is no possible gain to be had by acting childish and getting into an argument with your mother.

Growing up is a long process of differentiating yourself from your parents. The process isn't done until you can see them objectively without having a personal reaction about it... i.e. without a "what does this mean about me?" response. So the main thing I think you should notice about this situation is that you're not done with that process -- you're still reacting to what Mom says about you. That's OK, this may go on for years, it really is a long operation. Rather than trying to figure out how to reply to your mother, you'd be better off asking yourself "what is selfishness?", "how much selfishness is acceptable to me?", "how selfish am I?", etc. In other words, you want to go digging into your self-doubts. That's a very useful area to be familiar with -- you should know exactly what all of your doubts and shortcomings are, in detail... how you respond to specific kinds of situations that make you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable, etc. That's just good self-awareness. The idea is to avoid judging yourself, and focus instead on the quality of your self-understanding: precision. That kind of awareness provides the best overall psychological environment for maturing toward stability, in which you are your own source of validation... satisfied with who you are, and unreactive to the opinions or negative feedback of others.

Just tell her, I am an adult like you, Trained by you, And turned out like you.

I think I'd have to take some time and ask myself if there might be a grain of truth to the statement. There is a fine line between being truly selfish and setting HEALTHY boundaries as to what we will and will not allow to be part of our lives. Most families are dysfunctional in some manner. Sometimes it is the parent or sibling who is the selfish person. I accepted a long time ago, that if anyone is asking me to do or be involved in or with a situation that is NOT GOOD..for my mental health...I have the right to NOT comply. If that makes me appear to be selfish to them, that's ok with me! Everyone deserves to be happy, if they are willing to do what it takes to become happy. We do not, however, in my opinion, have the right to manipulate or attempt to force someone into a situation that creates chaos, or sorrow in their lives, or is harmful to their well-being in the process of getting what we want. If, after some soul searching, you feel you are not being selfish, I guess I would tend to respond with something like: "I'm sorry you feel that way, and I love you, but I can not do or be...(whatever it is they are wanting from you.") If they loaded up the guilt then, I'd probably add..."This topic is closed, as far as I'm concerned and if you need to continue trying to guilt trip me, I'll have to leave now. I'm not going to argue with you, and I'm not going to be manipulated by you on this matter." If they don't stop then you LEAVE. Not in a huff, but in control, because YOU are doing the right thing to protect yourself.

I say yes, ok I am selfish and don't say anything further!

I grew up in a selfish, self entitled, uncooperative family. I fired them from my life, just as you should fire your mother if insults and reprimands are a pattern of behavior. Life's too short to spend having your patience constantly squandered by family. Chances are she is more considerate to a complete stranger.

I would say I learned from the best.

Yes.Said sorry to her later on.

Fortunately for me that would never happen - for two reasons... -It wouldn't be true. She raised me to place others in more or equal importance. -Never in all my life (to my recollection) has she said a single unkind or negative word to any of her children and she never would.

Be glad that I'm being myself. You don't want me to LIE to you, do you?