If you have to be in regular contact with a belligerent, close-minded person who thinks in black and white, how do you deal with them? Their arrogant and combative personality is repugnant to me.
by 
lonelydragon
ANSWERS: 6
-
If you cant get away from them, and you have to deal with them, I find it helps to remember that behavior that appears repugnant to me is usually an expression of some type of fear in the other - eg - fear of not being respected, being heard, being wrong, etc. You remember that this person is a little chid inside who cannot figure out how to do it any better, and you know inside you are not so wounded, thank god. And that you can be bigger than they are. Try to give them what you think they need - eg respect, audience, a chance to see they have a point, etc - and if you hit the nail on the head they will soften. Even if they dont, you will have greater peace of mind and others around you will be impressed with your emotional and psychological mastery
-
I did, but he finally retired. I said one little thing that upset him a few years ago. I would smile and say hi to him every morning, his usual reply was "don't talk to me unless it's business." I just can't hold a grudge but I did enjoy my morning encounters. The last thing he said, to me, before he retired was "lets go to the parking lot and settle this." I just laughed and said "what are you 12?" I also suggested that he needs a shot of endorphins. Oh well you can't like everyone.
-
Do you work in a law firm? That's the last time I put up with jerks like that. I don't care who you are, I'm gonna tell you off if you act like that. I'm not afraid of anyone. The more combative they are, the more insecure they are. The men of the small pee pee and the women who want to have a pee pee. They are low level petty tyrants all. Get rid of em.
-
I try not to, as I do not want to lose my temper and hurt them (its just not worth the energy!). Seriously, I just try to smile and find points that we can agree on. The kitchen manager at the rest home where I work is just as you described, and she has driven numerous people who are good cooks and well loved by the residents to quit, but management is turning a blind eye (at lest right now).
-
The only person we can change in life this is ourselves. Whilst in these situations it can often seem unfair that we be the one to change or adapt, for our own sanity and stress levels, it really is the best option. Try not to engage in conversation that is going to turn combative - master the art of neutral grounded small talk. If you aren't required to have any type of social or professional relationship - beyond working together - then keep it at a distance. Don't engage in ways that might stir them up or play into their sense of ego and superiority. If the situation truly gets out of hand, speak to a supervisor or manager about this person. It's a tough call, but management more often than not want employees who are non-offensive and team players. If a persons attitude and ethics is compromising the ability to work efficiently of another employee, they may need to address the situation with a warning or dismissal. Good luck.
-
Me, too. But YOU are wrong.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC